My Mood

[RedheadWhovian]

Hi, everyone. I have a question regarding your use of HRT, if you have started it.

So in the beginning when taking my pill, I found that my sex drive almost disappeared. That is still true, but I also found I was getting mood swings, that were mostly sad. However, as of a couple days ago, I feel like everything has changed regarding that. Taking the pills each day makes me feel very comfortable and a bit happier each day. I'm also finding that my brain is starting to think a little differently. I'm so much more affectionate to everyone, which I love, and I'm finding myself to just be more bubbly and prone to laughing. Is that normal? Maybe the hormones just took this long to really kick in, and make me feel better? Either way, I hope this continues ^_^

- Katie

[Tessa James]

I had a constant smile and lived in euphoria land for the first 8 months on HRT.  I waited so long to be free and felt such relief.  Years later my libido has rebounded and is much more comfortably feminine in terms of arousal and response.  All that you are feeling sounds pretty good and an indication of the right choice you have made for yourself.   Being able to dissect or parse out what stimulates such better feelings is clearly yours to speculate on.  Rock on girl!

[RedheadWhovian]

I had a constant smile and lived in euphoria land for the first 8 months on HRT.  I waited so long to be free and felt such relief.  Years later my libido has rebounded and is much more comfortably feminine in terms of arousal and response.  All that you are feeling sounds pretty good and an indication of the right choice you have made for yourself.   Being able to dissect or parse out what stimulates such better feelings is clearly yours to speculate on.  Rock on girl!

Thank you so much! Is it normal that it took two months to start making me feel better? I still worry, and have doubts, but other than some outside stress, I feel great right now. ^_^ And I'm so glad you had such a positive effect from them as well!

[Tessa James]

I felt kind of flat and a little tired the first couple of weeks but we are truly individuals and it does take time.  i would guess you are right on schedule for your personal physiology and psychology. 

[itsApril]

I'm also finding that my brain is starting to think a little differently. I'm so much more affectionate to everyone, which I love, and I'm finding myself to just be more bubbly and prone to laughing. Is that normal? Maybe the hormones just took this long to really kick in, and make me feel better?

I noticed something similar.  Pre-HRT, I had settled into a stoic, grim mindset.  As HRT progressed, my mood lightened up.  I became more open emotionally, more approachable, less defensive.

The change was very gradual.  That's just how hormones work - little by little.  You don't even notice the changes day by day, until you look back and suddenly realize how different you have become.

Honestly, I was a pill before HRT and transition.  I like myself a lot better the way I am now.  I bet you will feel the same way.

[RedheadWhovian]

I felt kind of flat and a little tired the first couple of weeks but we are truly individuals and it does take time.  i would guess you are right on schedule for your personal physiology and psychology.

Oh that is so exciting! That means they are working right. ^_^ I'm so giddy. I got my first bra two days ago too. My friend helped me pick it out!

I noticed something similar.  Pre-HRT, I had settled into a stoic, grim mindset.  As HRT progressed, my mood lightened up.  I became more open emotionally, more approachable, less defensive.

The change was very gradual.  That's just how hormones work - little by little.  You don't even notice the changes day by day, until you look back and suddenly realize how different you have become.

Honestly, I was a pill before HRT and transition.  I like myself a lot better the way I am now.  I bet you will feel the same way.

I think that's how it is for me too! I used to always try and act cool, stoic. I would look off into the distance, or have really masculine poses, to try and impress girls, or to try and fit into the gender binary. Feels so stupid in hindsight. XD Now I'm not afraid to be affectionate, and cheery and cute, like I've always wanted to be.

[Rachel]

It took a while to get use to the quiet in my head.

I remember I was at a meeting and my boss (he knew I was on HRT) and others and he said why are you smiling at me. I said I am happy; I did not realize I was smiling. He looked at me with a puzzled look.

I am much more verbal now and much more so with woman at work. A lot of them give me advise on what to buy and where and how I look.

I think at around the 3 month mark it was like a switch and I think my system switched to E. It takes a while but when it hits you will have a female sexual response and have to relearn sex.

I was getting electrolysis today for 2.5 hours and we talked the entire time. It was fun.

[RedheadWhovian]

It took a while to get use to the quiet in my head.

I remember I was at a meeting and my boss (he knew I was on HRT) and others and he said why are you smiling at me. I said I am happy; I did not realize I was smiling. He looked at me with a puzzled look.

I am much more verbal now and much more so with woman at work. A lot of them give me advise on what to buy and where and how I look.

I think at around the 3 month mark it was like a switch and I think my system switched to E. It takes a while but when it hits you will have a female sexual response and have to relearn sex.

I was getting electrolysis today for 2.5 hours and we talked the entire time. It was fun.

I'm so happy for you! And I'll have to relearn sex?

[WendyA]

It took a while to get use to the quiet in my head.

I think it was a week on HRT when I realized that the noise was gone.  The silence felt strange, but just 5 weeks later and the noise is starting to seem like a distance memory.

[RedheadWhovian]

I think it was a week on HRT when I realized that the noise was gone.  The silence felt strange, but just 5 weeks later and the noise is starting to seem like a distance memory.

Noise?

[Violets]

Isn't HRT wonderful stuff? 3 weeks after starting E, my long-term treatment resistant depression began to lift and the insomnia disappeared. I started to smile, laugh and sing more. People started commenting that I was much chirpier. The headaches that would last for days ceased along with the subconscious teeth grinding and biting the insides of my cheeks. I'm now at 7 months and the difference between pre HRT and now is like night and day.

I still have dysphoria but it doesn't seem as intense, and my situation doesn't seem so hopeless either.

[Deborah]

I had the noise too.  It wasn't really an audible noise but more like a brain fog that overshadowed everything.  HRT cured me of a nearly lifelong nagging depression that I didn't even know I had.  I just thought I was naturally extremely negative and cynical.


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[EmilyClark]

I'm not sure if it's the accepting the real me or starting on HRT but I am so much happier. I actually find myself smiling a lot now compared to before when I was always told I looked mad. I also find I can express myself now. I wrote a nice thing on FB to thank my family for being so supportive without saying what for(I'm not out to everyone yet, but finding myself telling more and more everyday) and I had a distant cousin comment on it. She said it was such a beautiful thing I said and you don't usually hear a man say anything like that, it made me laugh, if she only knew [emoji4]


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[Tessa James]

Noise?

That noise, for me, was about readjusting to living as a man.  It was loudest following any intimacy when I used to go into my private girl mode no matter who I was with.  The switching back and forth was depressing and reduced my girl to a "shadow."   I agree that there is a learning curve to sexuality in transition too.  Fully dropping the man act and associated expectations required and introduced a lovely new world of responsiveness and sensitivity.

Congrats on that new bra.  What a fun milestone!

I appreciate the responses to this thread that so nicely detail our emotional life in transition, thank you all!

[itsApril]

. . . And I'll have to relearn sex?

Expect some chaos about sex.  Lots of things are changing, so it shouldn't be surprising that your attitudes and feelings might realign.  As they say when the plane is landing, "Be careful when opening the overhead bins.  Luggage may have shifted in flight."  But don't worry.  You'll sort it out okay and be glad you did.