Appearance advice

[HeyTrace19]

sadly I am too old to pass as a teenage boy, and too pretty in the face but slim in the body to pass as a grown man--but I at least fall into the "what the heck?" Category for most people

This is me, brother!

After 5 years on T, I still have difficulties! (see quote above)

So, all I can offer for a suggestion would be the haircut... I find that the right haircut can be very helpful, and it is not the shortest cut that works the best for me.  Short and clean up and around the ears and on the sides, but long and shaggy on top gets me the best look.  I see a lot of younger dudes with colors, mostly riding skateboards  so, if color is your thing you could make it work.  You may just start thinking about the possibility that the vision you have of yourself in your head may never be what you can achieve with the body you were born in...but always do what you can to keep moving closer.  Not trying to be a downer, but more of a realist.  I wish I would have been more prepared at the onset of my journey to accept the things that T cannot do for me.

[Mitternacht]

So I got my hair cut a lot shorter and dyed it darker after some of the suggestions. Ordered a new ring for my nose as I do think the stud is a bit too feminine but hadn't gotten here. Also, tried on my partner's glasses and he said they helped a bit, even though I don't need glasses so I tried a cheep cosmetic pair. What do you guys think? sorry for the horrible photo quality


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[Alexthecat]

Blue hair just looks feme to me.

[Sebby Michelango]

So I got my hair cut a lot shorter and dyed it darker after some of the suggestions. Ordered a new ring for my nose as I do think the stud is a bit too feminine but hadn't gotten here. Also, tried on my partner's glasses and he said they helped a bit, even though I don't need glasses so I tried a cheep cosmetic pair. What do you guys think? sorry for the horrible photo quality


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Sorry, dude. You still doesn't pass for me. If you really want to pass, I recommend you a natural hair color and a short haircut. Maybe a undercut or something more macho. Short hair is what I recommend you, not long. Especially not dyed. If you had a very masculine face and body, you could try out hair dye, long hair etc. But now, you wouldn't pass.

But I look too feminine too. Therefor I always goes for my natural black hair and short hair. If I'm starting at T when I grow up and becomes more masculine, I can grow a bit longer hair. Especially if I'm able to grow beard etc. But it's many years in the future. But I'm happy with short hair. And as long I'm pre-everything, I'm always going for short hair.

[dentistsandthedark]

So I got my hair cut a lot shorter and dyed it darker after some of the suggestions. Ordered a new ring for my nose as I do think the stud is a bit too feminine but hadn't gotten here. Also, tried on my partner's glasses and he said they helped a bit, even though I don't need glasses so I tried a cheep cosmetic pair. What do you guys think? sorry for the horrible photo quality


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More than your physical attributes it's your very feminine body language and poses that throw me off.

[Kylo]

I don't want to sound discouraging but this picture looks more feminine than the previous ones. As another poster said the body language/pose you have here looks feminine. As I think I mentioned before rounded and/or symmetrical hairstyles tend to look more feminine, to me at least.

[Deborah]

I guess it depends on the style people wear where you live but around here guys of any age all have natural hair color and cut very short.  While I occasionally see a guy with longer hair I have never ever seen one with wild colored hair. 


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[Mitternacht]

I look better with slightly long hair (last time I got it short was a disaster) and I like the colour so I guess I'm just kinda doomed until i start T, because I'm not really willing to change them. I guess it's not captured well here but I do actually pass fairly often which is weird because it's kind of obvious. Maybe it's the way I dress. I don't know.


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[Muscle Matt]

I've gotta say, as someone who used to color their hair like that all the time, I do love the blue. However, it unfortunately is probably bringing out your feminine features. Early in transition, natural hair colors probably work best, and then once facial changes start to happen, it will be easier to pull off bright colors without looking female (although it also always depends on the person).

You've got strong, masculine eyebrows, so I think if you were to get rid of the hair that falls in your face, it would help. As much as I like your hair, the cut does definitely scream "female" --but don't cut it just to look masculine; wear what you feel comfortable in, and one day the changes will bring it all together. Because who knows, you could cut your hair all off in an attempt to look masculine, and end up still looking feminine and also not enjoying your hair. Do you, and eventually everything will find its place.

As much as I loved dying my hair, I don't think I could pull it off at all right now. I'm waiting until I at least have facial hair before trying colors again.

Btw, the most recent pic, your hair looks like a wig, and I think that's awesome. The cut and color look very deliberate and on point. So even if you don't look too masculine, keep doing you. The worst thing you could do is lose yourself in an attempt to fit into other peoples' perception of a man.

[XKimX]

If you feel as if your face does not match your gender preference, it would seem to me as if you would not want to draw attention to it.  I am definitely not of the colored hair and piercing generation, and when I see it on the streets, my immediate thought is " Now why did they do that to themselves."  Only after having my focus drawn to the face do I do make a gender decision.

You may very well look quite in place among your peers, but to the general public, you would draw attention to your face with that presentation.  Which is just the opposite of what I try to do.

[Kanzaki]

Hair color= girl to the general public (unless all the other social/physical cues are spot as male).

I wouldn't really agree with that last bit. I know a guy who has sort of short/medium length purple hair (that's balding quite a bit lately, even) but further has a very masculine V shaped body, dresses masculine, is absolutely 100% not mistakable for a girl especially in the face, social cues are all completely male and yet he still often gets misgendered, and it's all only because of the hair color. It's pretty much just "unnatural hair color = girl" to the general public.

[Ciaran]

I like the blue hair on you, especially the darker shade but it dose make passing a bit harder at first going all out with the bright hair colors. If you were a client in my salon chair I would suggest two things first. Add black or another dark neutral color as the primary shade to your hair and just leave a pop of color to come through underneath. For the cut I'd shorten up the back and sides a bit but leave more edges blunt and give the back a still a blended choppy texture (vs a fine razor cut textured look that comes across more feminine) so as not to take away from your personal style too much, maybe a bit shorter in the front too but I'm a fan of the longer bangs on alternative looks. I wouldn't cut your hair too short, that would leave nothing to camouflage the features you want to hide for now. The goal of a good haircut is to bring out your best features. When trans finding a good stylist that will bring out the masculine features and help blend out or altogether hide the feminine ones helps a lot but that's easier said than done. To me you rock your style well and as others already said have great facial structure so there's plenty of room to work with.

I'm in the same boat being used to an alternative look which on the plus side might have you read as at least more androgynous at first until you start T but I know that probably isn't what you're going for. To me personally being read androgynous and getting a 50-50 or 25-75 is better than not passing at all though, that's pretty much where I'm at right now.

For your softer jawline check out some male contouring makeup videos on youtube if you wear makeup or are open to the idea of trying it out. It really helped me sharpen my features once I got the hang of it but I'm not at all a masculine guy to begin with and can't seem to give up makeup, for me it's just face art though I'm sure others would shudder at the thought so do whatever you're comfortable with there. If the ring in your nose doesn't make much difference try a clear glass retainer to hide it all together until you feel more confident about passing if that's your primary goal right now.

[Matthew]

If you're going femme with one aspect of your hair, I'd recommend masculinizing another aspect, eg:

Having coloured hair, seen as femme, and a more masculine cut (shirt back and sides with a fringe may suit)
or
A natural hair colour with a more femme cut


I've had a ton of different colours and I found that my rate of passing only tended to change when my hair was longer and coloured, whereas when I had a more typically masculine cut and it was bright green I had no issues.


Either way, try not to focus too much on passing, because if you're self conscious to an extent where you're completely changing your appearance and you're not happy, it'll probably show, and one thing I've learnt is that confidence does wonders.


In my opinion your facial structure seems androgynous leaning masculine, and if your hair could compliment that I think you would pass.