Pleasing mom

[Terra]

Well, it is getting harder and harder to deal with mom. Almost glad to be going back to work! ^^

The latest thing is that she wants me to get a THIRD opinion on my 'condition'. So far, my counseler aggrees with me, the military shrink is aggring with me. By my thoughts, with two people with vastly different interests in me, do I really need to be spending the time and money to get a third opinion? The other thing is, what happens when if this one should happen to agree with me? Or disagree for that matter. I asked mom that, but only got, "it will make me feel better."

Well, once again, please give your take yall.

[Dennis]

If she wants to pay for it and the process is not too uncomfortable for you, why not? Unless of course she picks the therapist and it's one of those loons who's convinced GID doesn't exist.

Dennis

[stephanie_craxford]

Well, it is getting harder and harder to deal with mom. Almost glad to be going back to work! ^^

The latest thing is that she wants me to get a THIRD opinion on my 'condition'. So far, my counseler aggrees with me, the military shrink is aggring with me. By my thoughts, with two people with vastly different interests in me, do I really need to be spending the time and money to get a third opinion? The other thing is, what happens when if this one should happen to agree with me? Or disagree for that matter. I asked mom that, but only got, "it will make me feel better."
Well, once again, please give your take yall.

Unfortunately Luana, how your mother feels about your condition has no bearing.  As you yourself mentioned what if the third one agrees, then the fourth, then the fifth, do you keep going till your mom gets her way.  And what would you do if let's say the fifth one doesn't agree, would you start all over or just quit.   All this to make "her" feel better.  Sorry, but NO don't do it, this is about you not her.

Steph

[Cassandra]

I aggree with Steph. At some point you have to stop trying to please your mom and worry about yourself. My Aunt(god rest her soul) once told me that I spent too much time trying to please everyone else and that I needed to worry about my own happiness. I pass that on to you.

Cassie

[Dennis]

True. I retract my earlier opinion. Two expert opinions is sufficient for most courts; it should be sufficient for your mum.

Dennis

[DawnL]

I saw five therapists (four of them were gender specialists) and that still wasn't enough to convince my parents.  The line of argument that follows is that the therapist must be one of "you people" like we're a different race or something.  I actually got my mother to read "True Selves" which she dismissed as crap because it was written by one of "you people" (it wasn't).  In the end my parents don't like my transition but they are accepting it because I have gone forward regardless and they now see it as inevitable.  The initial resistance in their minds is to prevent you from making a mistake but I think they also feel with enough resistance you'll give up this silly "phase".

Good luck.

Dawn

[Terra]

I sat down and gave it more thought. I think you all are echoing what has been running through my mind. I guess, hard as it will be, I will just have to tell them no. I understand this is hard for them, but they really don't get why I am doing this, because there is no real words to convey the feeling, either that or I am lacking in vocabulary.^^

Of course, this means I am closing the door to my family for the time being. Mom says she dosn't want me coming home to this small town. So in three months, I hope my older brother has room, or i'm in the stree

Heh, and the shrink is always wondering why I can't seem to get over my depression. Well don't worry, something will work out, it always does. 🙂

[Kimberly]

Luana,

Regarding depression, just remember this...

Fall seven times, stand up eight.

[Terri-Gene]

Steph wrote:

Unfortunately Luana, how your mother feels about your condition has no bearing

If you truely want to seek relief for yourself exactly true.  A while after going on HRT and being asked to move out by my wife I was talking to my psychologist about my relationship with my wife and asking what I could do that I had not already done to make her feel more comfortable with the situation.

For a moment I almost thought my statements had made the psychologist mad.  at the time she had worked with Transsexuals for more then 17 years in the Bay area and I guess she had seen and heard it all.  anyway she flat jumped into me feet first after I said my piece about my wife.  She told me that no matter how hard it sounded, she didn't give a damn about my wife or anyone else, that the only one she cared about in this respect was me and nobody else and that if my wife didn't like it she was welcome to go to therapy herself. 

I dunno, just what my favorite and most helpful psychiatrist told me about anyone elses opinion of what I did or didn't do .......

Terri