What made you unhappy today? 7.0

[DawnOday]

Another torturous session of hair removal. About 10 more to go.

[sarah1972]

 Hahaha... that would be so me, I am right there with you (on both points btw)

Sarah,  that's a good idea, if only I wasn't too lazy to bother [emoji23].
The fact is that,  I should be doing more practice,  and that I'm proud of who and what I am, and I won't hide that. [emoji4]

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[aves]

I'm just now realizing that one of the final papers I am going to write is about male privilege and hegemonic masculinity- a topic I am good at discussing in one of my sociology classes, but not in my English classes. It's going to be hard to actually get this professor to listen to what I have to say about this topic because she is very much the white cis older woman that doesn't understand the gender spectrum and that privilege is actually a thing.

This paper is going to drain me so much.

[Maddie86]

So I went out of town last night with some friends to see a concert. After the concert we got really lost on the way back to our hotel, we ended up 15 miles away from it because New Jersey is really confusing and there are no easy spots to turn around! I came really close to driving into a lane of oncoming traffic! It really stressed me out, I'm never that bad at driving! Then we got back to the hotel and I couldn't sleep. My friends stayed up for a bit, so that was part of it, then when they went to sleep 2 of them were snoring. I got maybe 2 hours of sleep last night.

a couple weeks ago I posted some stuff in my HRT thread about how I was depressed because my friends were always doing stuff and excluding me from it and it happened again last night, they were posting videos of what looked like a really fun party and they did cute stuff like make gingerbread houses. I've been trying forever to do cute little craft nights with them and even tried to set some up and they always claimed they were too busy. they say it's unintentional but sometimes it really feels like it is.

I was supposed to have band practice today too but then our drummer decided that the time I told him to plan on wasn't going to work for him and then our bassist couldn't practice earlier so that got all messed up too.

sorry, I needed to vent.

[brandyvgs]

Today, I was seeing a post of a pictures from last weekend's car meet that finally got posted and I seen myself and seeing myself still in the guy mode and still looking big as I still do still puts me in the mode of sadness.

I have always hated how the guy version of me looked fat or not I just don't like that version of me.

Even though I have been seeing some changes in the mirror from being on HRT for almost a year now, and how much weight I have lost in the past 6 months I am still unhappy about how I look and seems to be that thing.

At this same time I was just thinking about how the other day I have this permanent angry look even tho my mood is great and I have been happy these past few days, I still have this unapproachable look in which I don't know how to fix, I feel like this was something since the cancer back in 2003 that caused ability to unable to show a decent smile and the cost to repair that is too much to even afford this day and age.

And my weight loss went from 293 in May till Now still around 227ish.

I guess this is all hitting me today as I know, in time with patience I will achieve my goals, it is just sad to think about the road to success sometimes but keeping an outlook to the dream that can be achieved.

[EvaMarie]

I'm just now realizing that one of the final papers I am going to write is about male privilege and hegemonic masculinity- a topic I am good at discussing in one of my sociology classes, but not in my English classes. It's going to be hard to actually get this professor to listen to what I have to say about this topic because she is very much the white cis older woman that doesn't understand the gender spectrum and that privilege is actually a thing.

This paper is going to drain me so much.

I'm sorry that you feel like your voice isn't heard.

Think of it this way though, It's not fun to debate with people who agree with you. In a sociology class everyone is most likely on the same page, or at least willing to listen. It's only how well we articulate ourselves with the general public or someone that opposes us that shows us how much we know about a particular topic. This is a great opportunity to test your knowledge and perhaps expand on it even more.

[Sinead]

Went to my trans group today, I actually didn't enjoy it. I loved being able to dress up and be myself, but I didn't enjoy wearing my wig. I wanted to take it off as soon as I could, it got in the way of my eyes and felt uncomfortable, I wish I had naturally long hair, also, everyone there was further on in their transition than me (I haven't even started yet), especially this one girl who looked perfect, I was so jealous of her, she looked so pretty and passable, I would've done anything to swap bodies with her. Didn't enjoy changing back into a 'male', never do really

[Artesia]

I found out that my new girlfriend was raped.  As to whether or not that is unhappy or just plain ticked is up for debate.  She couldn't admit it to herself, let alone me, for a while.  She was blaming herself for the event.

[Sno]

Hi Artesia,

(Hugs), it's always horrid when we find out things like this.

My unhappiness today is from the discovery of the term emotional incest, and then on reading discovered that it described my relationship with my mother.

Exactly. Scarily so.

Why do I have to be so broken.?

*numb and nauseous*

Rowan.

Ps. Apparently it's common for EI survivors to have significant gender issues, well go figure.

[V M]

*Heavy sigh*

Coping during the Holiday season, putting on a smile front and trying to pretend that everything is hunky dory when I know that it isn't and hoping I'll even make it through the month     The anxiety and depression is killing me but I'm sure I'm not the only one though

[Megan.]

*Heavy sigh*

Coping during the Holiday season, putting on a smile front and trying to pretend that everything is hunky dory when I know that it isn't and hoping I'll even make it through the month    I'm sure I'm not the only though

Hugs hun. X

Take the chance to enjoy the 'you' time,  a little pampering never hurts. [emoji5]

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[V M]

*Sigh*

If only it were that simple, but I spend too much time alone already

Thanks for your thoughts though

Hugs back

[Charlie Nicki]

*Heavy sigh*

Coping during the Holiday season, putting on a smile front and trying to pretend that everything is hunky dory when I know that it isn't and hoping I'll even make it through the month     The anxiety and depression is killing me but I'm sure I'm not the only one though

I'm sorry for that! Just keep in mind that this is a roller coaster so the depression will pass. If you can go out with your friends and get distracted.

Hugs!

[Bari Jo]

I had one of those days that made me feel old and dumb today.  I'm an overachiever, to the extreme.  I sat in on a demonstration today from some kids about 20 years younger than me.  They were doing something technology wise that was really impressive.  It made me feel like tech has passed me.  My tech resume is long too, but damn, these young kids!

Bari Jo

[DeniseGrace]

109 percent increase in my 2018 monthly insurance premium. Higher deductibles. Higher co-pays. Less covered services.

Thanks so much politicians.

[Laurie]

109 percent increase in my 2018 monthly insurance premium. Higher deductibles. Higher co-pays. Less covered services.

Thanks so much politicians.

Hi DeniseGrace,

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Laurie
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[Ryuichi13]

Went to my endo's appointment line I should, and the office was closed!  No note on the door, no phone call, building lights turned off and everything!  WTH? [emoji35]

But I did notice after I realized the office was locked that the outside sign looks like it had been blown off the pole.  I hope everything's okay. [emoji20]

Ryuichi

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[davina61]

Went to pick up my new HRT prescription and it wont be in till MONDAY **^^^!!!!!

[V M]

I'm totally broke and have come down with a nasty cold 

[Bari Jo]

My dog has been sick, and blood tests show liver failure.  I don't know the cause yet, crying lots.  He is my best friend, my favorite, sometimes only friend. I keep thinking the worst.  Mire tests tomorrow.

Bari Jo