Seeking advice, ideas to help, resources? Anything? My sister needs me.

[Amandie]

hello everyone. I am in desperate need of guidance. My little "sister" , and I use quotes because we aren't related but I love her dearly and we grew up in the same home. I was foster care, she was adopted... but she is going through a very difficult time right now and I'm her only support. She is threatening to kill herself , the "adoptive" parents are kicking her out on her 18th birthday. (one week away). I live 4 hours away and I'm trying to help anyway that I can.

So far I have found some resources in her area. I'm planning to visit in two weeks (I am unemployed and don't have the funds to leave sooner) to take her to DHA for some assistance, seek counseling, shelter, and transportation. I'm doing anything I can think of. She was born with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome so I will try to make appointments for possible SSD during this time too. Something in my mind tells me they may have been collecting this whole time though.

I was the first person she came out to, she trusts me soo much and I don't want to let her down. It seems like she wants me to take her in but I can't right now. I'm concerned for her safety, I've been crying all night trying to figure this out. There are Trans services in her area but I can't get her there until I visit.

I also hold a lot of anger at our foster/ adoptive "parents" for what they've done to her. These so called adults tease and mock her all day, living conditions are terrible. Her clothes are dirty with holes and stained. Roaches, rats, dog feces/ soiled carpets. The worst smell in the world!! I'm glad they kicked me out at 16! Mental and physical abuse. I reported them to child services last year and they found NOTHING WRONG!?!!!!!!!???

I don't want conflict with these people. I just want her out and on a path to healing and real living. I want to ask them for her documents like birth cert etc.  Am I out of line? She has no other support, she dropped out of high school.... I was thinking she could to go to Job Corps in her area but I don't think she will be safe.

I guess I'm wondering what I could do in the meantime? I think the next two weeks will be stressful for me, and even harder on her. What do I do. I am trying to keep my cool but my heart is hurting for her and I'm mad! I need to secure a few things for her. safe shelter, food, proper clothing, transportation, and counseling. I feel like I'm failing here.

[Dena]

Welcome to Susan's Place. I have a few ideas where I would start. LGBT centers could be a good place to start because often children with a different outlook on life find themselves without a home. The agency that placed your sister in the foster home may be able to provide some help as well because children time out from foster care and need help to get them to the next place in life. There may also be city/state and federal programs available but without knowing a city and state name, it would be hard to find a link on the web where you could find help.

The paper work you would be interested in would include birth certificate, Social Security card and any foster care paper work that would document her history.

I know you will try as hard as possible to find her help, but if you fail at a task, you shouldn't feel guilty. Nobody else is looking out for her and you are limited as to what you can do. Keep checking this thread as other members might have more information and post over the next few days.

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