how to get your teacher to stop being a bad person thing

[jordmungand]

i couldn't swear so i came up with my best insult.

so.
apparently i'm really good at finding transphobic people who seem to be stuck with me for a year or two and having no good way of getting away from them in that period of time.

perhaps some background;
while i've been openly out since i've started being really involved with the internet community (at that time was deviantart), and have been generally accepted (save for one who didn't accept it and refused to call me by my chosen name, so i just gave him my chinese name which is gender neutral). it wasn't until 2015 summer that i've been constantly called jordan and referred to as male. i've gotten so used to it that i've become really cranky at school when everyone kept using my given name. it was so bad that it was to the point of rudeness, where i just flat out shout at people without really giving them a reason for my anger (i'm closeted). eventually i snapped and came out to one teacher, who usually likes referring people by their names because it makes us "closer".
so, naturally i felt great because he accepted it no problem once i came out to him over text.
BUT
it didn't get so lucky with another teacher.
my maths teacher. mr lai.
mr lai really loves calling people by their names and talk about them in third person. this is bad for me because maths is taught in english (since im in an emi school)
and he always says the a-word and refers me as a she
(e.g. i am talking to my neighboring classmate J. he will tell J. "please don't talk to her. you are not helping her, you are dragging her down. you should ignore her so she will do her work.")
i tried correcting him and say that he should refer me as a he, but he refused, saying it was against him
i also tried to prompt him to refer me as either "tobi" (nickname everybody uses irl to refer to me), or "jordan" (i assumed this would be easier for him since "jordan" is a unisex name, but i dont think it worked either)
he still sometimes say the a-word, but more recently after i told him how i hate people calling me by the a-word, he opt to just not call me by any name but "you"
recently he started calling me tobi more, but it's usually a correction. he'd go "<my given name>... or tobi whatever"
if i don't respond, he will repeat my given name for a few times before correcting himself and say tobi. i don't want to be rude but i can't find another way to make him understand that it makes me uncomfortable.

i've also been opting to interrupt people whenever they use the wrong pronoun and shout "HE" or "HIS" when they use the incorrect she or her. (there are only four teachers i dont do this to. one of them is a chinese teacher, therefore, no need to use english since chinese pronouns are not gendered when spoken. three of them i haven't come out to and they're all really nice so i am willing to overlook it.)

i've already talked to my school social worker but
i don't think anything productive came from the conversation.

what should i do?
should i text him? since i have his number. and if i text him, what should i say? he seems christian, or at least believe in something that stops him from accepting ... me.

[FTMax]

I can understand it being frustrating, but I wouldn't let it get to you like this. They're teachers. They aren't your friends, or your family. Outside of school, you don't have to spend time with them. In a few years, you'll never have to see or think about them again. So why let them get to you? Just go, let them do their jobs, and work hard.

There were plenty of teachers I had issues with in high school, but now I can't even give you the specifics of the issues I had with them OR their names. That's how little they matter in the course of my life. I know it seems like a big deal because you see them for multiple hours everyday right now, but ultimately they'll play no bigger part in your life than the barista who makes your coffee at Starbucks.

One of the things you're going to have to learn as you come out, is how to not care about people who don't want to be respectful. You will probably encounter a lot of people who behave like this, and being constantly frustrated about it isn't going to feel good. You've just got to let it go. Save the effort for people in your life that may mean well but need more education or conversation with you to get things right.

[Kylo]

It sounds exhaustive correcting people all of the time, especially if they keep "forgetting".

I'd just worry about the important people in your life and how they address you. Otherwise you're going to have to keep correcting them and dealing with this situation, or having to keep taking people aside and asking them to address you a certain way. I can't see any other solution other than that, or not letting some unimportant person get to you.

[WorkingOnThomas]

As a teacher, I don't think you should put up with it, and if nothing changes then I'd talk with the administration again. A teacher who bullies one student - and it is bullying, regardless of his *personal* religious beliefs - is probably a swaggering, bullying little fraction of a person to other students.

On the other hand, if you remember that he's a POS and beneath your notice, maybe you'll be able to cope with it better.

[jordmungand]

okay
i managed to be frustrating enough that he stopped trying to use female pronouns in today's lesson.
i just kept shouting male pronouns whenever they use the wrong ones
and corrected him from saying "ladies" by shouting "boy".

i might be able to cope with it, like you guys said
at least until graduation. then i won't have to deal with him ever again.

[FTMax]

I'd be careful doing stuff like that. You don't want to get labeled as disruptive or give him an excuse to give you poor marks.

[WorkingOnThomas]

Yeah, Max is right, shouting isn't going to help you here. The administration will only take you seriously if you act professionally. Otherwise, they're just going to see you as a kid pitching a fit and causing trouble. Doesn't matter if you're in the right or not at that point.

[jordmungand]

=(
okay, i suppose it might have been a little rude and disruptive, but i cant find any alternative since im still closeted

the social worker cant really help or out me so many teachers dont and probably wont know

[Alexthecat]

=(
okay, i suppose it might have been a little rude and disruptive, but i cant find any alternative since im still closeted

the social worker cant really help or out me so many teachers dont and probably wont know

Wait a minute here. You have female on your ID and school records but are telling the teachers to use male pronouns? That doesn't sound closeted to me. You may not be out and proud but you are not so far in the closet that people could not figure out that you are trans just from that interaction with the teacher.

[FTMax]

=(
okay, i suppose it might have been a little rude and disruptive, but i cant find any alternative since im still closeted

the social worker cant really help or out me so many teachers dont and probably wont know

Yeah, IMO you're not really closeted if you're telling people to use male pronouns with you, even if you haven't explicitly explained why.

[jordmungand]

well, i think i personally decide that "out of the closet" means that i explain why exactly i want people to use male pronouns with me.
see, where i live, trans is almost unheard of. gay and lesbians sure, but no one talks about transgender. they keep using female pronouns and even when i correct them, they only "correct" themselves because they think i am playing.
i only ask them to use male pronouns this year because i got used to it in summer, with my internet friendos. usually i just suck it up but recently it's getting more and more annoying and irritating. so much so that i start to throw those childish temper tantrums.
i feel like if i "come out of the closet", tell them im a transboy, then they might accept and actively use male pronouns instead of "playing along" or "forget" my request. and also, i only correct certain teachers, especially those who had been rude about it when i try to explain to them (slowly coming out to the teachers one by one). other teachers either dont/rarely use pronouns at all or use chinese.