I just try talking softer. I have never had much flexibility in my voice and always get called out as being male on the telephone. In person, many people just see an old granny and seem to be discreet about questioning my gender or don't show that they care. For the past 8 years all anyone ever sees is a graying old granny and I may have that school teacher demeanor because I taught school for over thirty years. Any more. I don't know if I am seen as a lady or as a man who cross dresses and since I can't do much about what others think, I try not to let it bother me.
An example of this is that my hiatal hernia acted up and I have pain at the top of my stomach when I chew food. I went to get an x-ray at the University Hospital downtown. My driver's licence still has the M and my name spelled Michael which I say I pronounce as Michelle. I gave them my driver's license and Medicare insurance card. When they called my up to give me my cards back the lady softly said, "Ms Hackler." However when they took me back to put on my gown, I was placed in the men's dressing room, but I was alone there. I did fear them bringing in a man. I was able to keep my skirt on because the x-rays were of the upper area. Everyone was polite to me, so if they had negative thoughts they kept them to themselves.
This is in Florida. I don't do makeup hardly at all because I have never been one to constantly check my appearance so life removes my makeup or leaves my eye area with flecks of mascara. I pretty much accept that in transitioning I will be the same kinda person that I was while I was trying to live butch. I never have been a male, I just spent most of my life trying to be one because my parents and society labeled me as one.
My philosophy is to see my life as a unity, and not see myself as having a male life and a female life. So when it comes to my voice, which has been more of a tenor than a bass, I just try and talk softer, don't exceed much.
I also have a twelve-year-old son with my cis partner and when his friends ask him who I am, he says, "That's my dad." Which also means that I am just a transsexual lady, and I just have to be myself and let the chips fall where they may.
I am still not sure how to deal with conversations when I talk about my biological children with other ladies. They will make assumptions about me and pregnancy, but as far as raising them I did everything else any other woman would have done except possibly nurse them, but then their cis mothers were never into nursing any of our children anyway. The same can be said if you get into converstions about your children with men, and they ask if they may ask now difficult your pregnancy was. Then the other part of the story is the friends your kids bring home.
So a lot more goes into your conversations other than your voice quality in transitioning into being a woman. For myself, I find it easier to just let people think what they think, but not lie. If you have dealt satisfactorily with these issues, then your voice is just a minor problem.
