I have been living full time as a woman now for 3 months, and accepted to myself im transsexual about two years ago.
For the first time ever, i feel truly happy, i feel so complete and am loving life! Sure, my anxiety and stress levels have been massively high at times, and i can be a nervous wreck at times, but even through the stressful times, i feel content. Its such an amazing contrast to how i was three years ago. Three years ago, i was a tired, unconfident, angry and bitter 'man' who was living a lie. I was lying to myself, because i was so scared of accepting who i truly was, mainly because i was scared of losing friends an family. I would block out these thoughts, and would act like a man, as i wanted to be 'normal' so much. I hid the fact that i was so unhappy, and was so jealous of other women. Im so glad ive managed to be myself, and cant believe i used to live my life the way i did.
I know i dont post on here much, but recently ive noticed a few posts from people who are uncertain about transitioning, and who are frightened about what might happen if they do transition. I know that feeling so well, but ive come to realise that you only live once, and you have to be true to yourself. Its not worth living a lie. For me ive lost an awful lot of friends, obviously this is upsetting, but ive also made so many new friends, who know and accept me for who i truly am. For the first time in my life im starting to feel like a human being, and am feeling as though i finally exist
If anyone is feeling unsure about the future, im always happy for you to message me, and i will be there to support you, as i know how difficult the decision can be.
I believe that everyone deserves to be happy, and although it may be difficult and scary, it is so so worth it!
Lots of love
Zoe
x
