*Strong* vagina envy but *without* feeling female

[Futurist]

I was wondering if anyone else here has strong vagina envy but doesn't feel female (for instance, if you are genderqueer). After all, I myself sometimes have these feelings (often in a sexual sense), but I simply don't feel female when I have these feelings.

Also, though, please keep in mind that I certainly don't actually want to get a vaginoplasty (for several reasons). However, I would probably very much enjoy having a vagina in full immersion virtual reality.

[Futurist]

Frankly, I suspect that this can be something which is true of some genderqueer people.

Of course, what I am especially curious about is whether or not I will still have any vagina envy after I will begin taking estrogen replacement therapy.

[Deborah]

What does this mean, "feeling female?"  That statement is used a lot around here and there never is any agreement on exactly what it means.

The closest there is to any kind of consensus is that it means not having dysphoria anymore, or a feeling of internal unity where before there was disunity.


Sapere Aude

[suzifrommd]

I was wondering if anyone else here has strong vagina envy but doesn't feel female (for instance, if you are genderqueer).

That's me exactly. I've never "felt female" whatever that really means. I've been living full time as a woman for more than two years and I still feel male or agender most of the time. That doesn't change the fact that I'm trans and that having a VJ is the right shape for me. I've had it for a year and a half now, and it's the way I should have been shaped.

[Serverlan]

Womb and Vagina Envy (Wiki entry)
Each term ["vagina envy" and "womb envy"] is analogous to the concept of female penis envy, derived from the theory of psychosexual development, presented in Freudian psychology; they address the gender role social dynamics underlying the "envy and fascination with the female breasts and lactation, with pregnancy and childbearing, and vagina envy [that] are clues and signs of transsexualism and to a femininity complex of men, which is defended against by psychological and sociocultural means" [4]

Vagina envy denotes the envy males may feel towards females for having a vagina. In Psychoanalysis and Male Sexuality (1966), Hendrik Ruitenbeek relates vagina envy to men's desire to be able to give birth and to urinate (higher flow rate) and to masturbate in ways physically different from those available to men, and that such psychological envy might produce misogyny in neurotic men.[14] Moreover, in Vagina Envy in Men (1993), the physician Harold Tarpley elucidates the theoretic differences among the constructs of "vagina envy," "womb envy," "breast envy," and "parturition envy," emotions wherein men suffer envy — "a grudging desire for another's excellence or advantage" — of women's female biologic capabilities of pregnancy, parturition, breast feeding, and of the social-role freedom to physically nurture children.[15]

[Sebby Michelango]

What does this mean, "feeling female?"  That statement is used a lot around here and there never is any agreement on exactly what it means.

The closest there is to any kind of consensus is that it means not having dysphoria anymore, or a feeling of internal unity where before there was disunity.


Sapere Aude

I guess the person mean he don't identify himself as a woman. He isn't a trans woman. He may be a non-binary... but anyway he have a vagina evny without identify him as a woman.

[Emileeeee]

I had that and had every intention of doing a medical transition without a social transition. I thought I could get away with occasional crossdressing. It turned out that while I was testing the waters, I realized I don't actually like being treated like a man. I started thinking about all the things I would need to learn to be a woman. Now that I actually started the full transition, that list has dropped to style for occasional events that require nice attire, and voice. I don't bother with any of the rest. Some people call me sir. Others call me ma'am. Some can't figure it out and don't try. Not my problem. So you might say that I'm doing a partial social transition with a full medical transition, but I am doing the name change.

[Serverlan]

What does this mean, "feeling female?"  That statement is used a lot around here and there never is any agreement on exactly what it means.

I doubt there'd be much consensus on this point even among cis women.