Identity Labels - Not What I Say I Am

[DiamondBladee]

What I am inside is not quite what comes out of my mouth, even if I'm out of the closet.

My gender is quite a queer mess, but its is very feminine, so I often find myself saying I'm mtf when people ask. Many assume because the way I look is changing like so anyway.  What I really am is just...  Me?  I don't put a word to it and I almost never talk to people about it because it just confuses people.  I'll tell mutual friends if they ask about my inner gender emotions but that's kinda it.

Sexuality, too.  I am demisexual (and panromantic) but I often find myself saying I'm asexual or bisexual depending in the topic it comes up in.  I'll let my mutual friends know if they ask about it.

Sometimes I feel slightly bad when I'm asked about orientation because just about everyone gets the mtf part, but there is confusion about why I have a ftm boyfriend if I'm asexual (he is too actually) and whether were straight or not and yada yada yada...  My S.O. feels the same about this as we are pretty similar (so glad I met him in this strange world <3).  He does the same and keeps his inner feelings to those close to him.

Does anyone else omit information about identities in general conversation?  I find that it helps avert potential trouble and/or uncomfortable questions, especially in the high school setting for me (not to mention that I've received some unwanted spotlight for being myself; not too many people do that around here).  Is there a better way to handle this?  I don't mind being viewed as mtf or asexual; I don't think every single person I meet needs to understand 100%, and many don't want to know 100% anyway.

Thank you all xoxoxo

- Winter

[suzifrommd]

Does anyone else omit information about identities in general conversation?

Yes, all the time. The world seems me as an MtF Trans woman. They don't need to know that my gender is non-binary. When I need to mention my sexual orientation (like when it becomes clear that my ex-spouse is a female), I say I'm queer. They don't need to know I'm a pansexual with a preference for women. Queer says what I need it too.

[DiamondBladee]

Yes, all the time. The world seems me as an MtF Trans woman. They don't need to know that my gender is non-binary. When I need to mention my sexual orientation (like when it becomes clear that my ex-spouse is a female), I say I'm queer. They don't need to know I'm a pansexual with a preference for women. Queer says what I need it too.

Hmm, this makes me feel a bit better.  I was a little worried about being accused of lying and stuff but you're right.  They don't need to know.  That's exactly why I do it, I suppose it justifies itself.