Hi everyone,
This actually is my first attempt to join a transgender forum and I'm not really sure what to say nor to expect. I did browse around and read a few topics in the MtF side of the forum and found the general atmosphere to be instructive, respectful and friendly. English is not my first language so please accept my apologies if I sound a bit off or can't seem to express myself in a more straight forward way.
Well, as far as intro goes, here goes nothing:
I'm approaching my mid forties and am Asian (Japanese/Chinese) and although I've been out of the closet for a few years, I've always thought to feel/am a bit different than, you know, the crossdressers or effeminate bottoms. I'm really not bashing here, I explored just about everything. It's just I've never really felt an ongoing sexual thrill about dressing up and felt more at ease and myself. I mean sure, it felt great at start but that feeling quickly dissipated into something less connected to sex.
I've always been said to be attentive and interested into things most of my guy friends are into. Anyhow, after a long period of "OMG what am I supposed to be (doing) for the rest of my life?" to "I'm not meant to be like this", I spoke to my doctor and a few friends who told me I was always more feminine (and again not in a effem sorta way). Eventually I read about transgender and mentioned HRT to my doctor. It all seemed to make sense, you know, like a click (or 'duh, you finally came to your senses?').
So here I am, with zillions of questions, lots of uncertainties on what's next, and freaking out because I'm about to take the most important journey in my life while trying to quit smoking ASAP!
Again, I apologize for the babble and the 'what does she mean?' possible parts of my intro.
