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So you want to become a girl?

Started by kaitylynn, February 04, 2016, 08:01:50 AM

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kaitylynn

So, you wan to become a girl?

No, I am already a girl.

But, you are a guy...

No, I have never been a guy.

But you have a...well, you are a guy.

No, I have never been a "guy" and it does not matter what chromosomes I was formed with, my brain is a girl brain.  It is not that I am trying to 'become' anything, I am already.  Just trying to align the inside and outside so that I can be happy with the whole package.

So you are going to get it cut off...

Can we talk about this later?  I am hungry and I have a headache.
Katherine Lynn M.

You've got a light that always guides you.
You speak of hope and change as something good.
Live your truth and know you're not alone.

The restart - 20-Oct-2015
Legal name and gender change affirmed - 27-Sep-2016
Breast Augmentation (Dr. Gupta) - 27-Aug-2018
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Deborah

Just tell them you are going to gift to them preserved in formaldehyde.  Answers like that usually leave them speechless.


Sapere Aude
Love is not obedience, conformity, or submission. It is a counterfeit love that is contingent upon authority, punishment, or reward. True love is respect and admiration, compassion and kindness, freely given by a healthy, unafraid human being....  - Dan Barker

U.S. Army Retired
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Paige

Quote from: Deborah on February 04, 2016, 08:07:56 AM
Just tell them you are going to gift to them preserved in formaldehyde.  Answers like that usually leave them speechless.
Sapere Aude

:)
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Meghan

Sound like one of my conversation with Gender Dysphoria Therapy
Meghan Pham: MtF Transgender, Transsexual, Transwoman, social justice, Caregivers, Certified Nurse Assistant
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Tommi

I've had similar discussions with my wife... everytime she says "you want to be a girl"...

I AM... not want to be...

But the concept is difficult for some to grasp...
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IdontEven

In fairness to them, I don't think they're -trying- to be obtuse. It's just that the concept is so foreign to them, the idea that living the wrong gender really really sucks, they can't empathize with it in any way. The only thing they can think is "Well, I don't really care about my gender, I'd probably be okay being the other gender, so that must mean they just want to switch to the other gender because <unknown reasons>."

And that's about as far as they get. The polite will at least have some tact about it, but unless you've got some gender issues of your own it's a very difficult thing to empathize with it seems.
'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
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Mariah

Hang in there. I know it can be difficult as those around us have difficulty understanding. Hugs
Mariah
If you have any questions, please feel free to ask me.
[email]mariahsusans.orgstaff@yahoo.com[/email]
I am also spouse of a transgender person.
Retired News Administrator
Retired (S) Global Moderator
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Deborah

I think CIS people have no internal awareness of gender because since everything matches and there is no conflict, that awareness never arises to conscious thought.  So, for them it's an unknown and might as well not exist at all.  They have no conscious reference point from which to understand our dilemma.


Sapere Aude
Love is not obedience, conformity, or submission. It is a counterfeit love that is contingent upon authority, punishment, or reward. True love is respect and admiration, compassion and kindness, freely given by a healthy, unafraid human being....  - Dan Barker

U.S. Army Retired
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abd789

Quote from: Deborah on February 04, 2016, 09:46:44 AM
I think CIS people have no internal awareness of gender because since everything matches and there is no conflict, that awareness never arises to conscious thought.  So, for them it's an unknown and might as well not exist at all.  They have no conscious reference point from which to understand our dilemma.


Sapere Aude

***clicks on like button***
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TechGirl

Quote from: Deborah on February 04, 2016, 08:07:56 AM
Just tell them you are going to gift to them preserved in formaldehyde.  Answers like that usually leave them speechless.


Sapere Aude
Now THAT was funny.
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DiamondBladee

Quote from: Deborah on February 04, 2016, 08:07:56 AM
Just tell them you are going to gift to them preserved in formaldehyde.  Answers like that usually leave them speechless.


Sapere Aude

Oh no I'm laughing in class...
~ Ana Maria
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Quote from: Deborah on February 04, 2016, 09:46:44 AM
since everything matches and there is no conflict, that awareness never arises to conscious thought.

Yes.  Very well said.


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Emjay

Quote from: Deborah on February 04, 2016, 09:46:44 AM
I think CIS people have no internal awareness of gender because since everything matches and there is no conflict, that awareness never arises to conscious thought.  So, for them it's an unknown and might as well not exist at all.  They have no conscious reference point from which to understand our dilemma.


Sapere Aude

I think this is probably the best explanation that can be given.  It's just not on most peoples' radar, at all, ever.




Start therapy:                            Late 2013
Start HRT:                                 April, 2014
Out everywhere and full time:      November 19, 2015
Name change (official):                            February 1, 2016
I'm a Mommy! (Again) :                             January 31, 2017
GCS consultation:                        February 17, 2017
GCS, Dr. Gallagher (Indianapolis, IN)  February 13, 2018
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DiamondBladee

Quote from: Deborah on February 04, 2016, 09:46:44 AM
I think CIS people have no internal awareness of gender because since everything matches and there is no conflict, that awareness never arises to conscious thought.  So, for them it's an unknown and might as well not exist at all.  They have no conscious reference point from which to understand our dilemma.


Sapere Aude

Can I quote this?  This is a very straightforward way of putting it to my cis friends who really want to understand but just don't.
~ Ana Maria
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JessicaSondelli


Quote from: Deborah on February 04, 2016, 08:07:56 AM
Just tell them you are going to gift to them preserved in formaldehyde.  Answers like that usually leave them speechless.


Sapere Aude

We SO need that like button!! Way to go Deborah! Lol


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Feel free to PM me, I'm happy to help, don't be shy... :)
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Adchop

I'm usually not a fan of the saying "you can't understand what I'm going through, unless your going through it as well", but in the case of gender dysphoria I find it an appropriate way of viewing things.

I grew up in a not so religious family, but my friends and my formative years were spent heavily involved in some of this countries largest youth ministries. What they taught is that basically consciousness of sexuality is directly tied to the reproductive capacity of your body. This is a notion I myself personally held for many years(while I lived ignorant of my own gender dysphoria).

The thing I have come to realize is that gender consciousness is not set in stone. Our bodies are like a shadow, its what people see, but it's not real. What is real can only be found inside, that's what constitutes the "true" us as women.

Furthermore, while many can't/choose not to understand gender dysphoria, they really haven't taken the time to use logic in their beliefs. If we are created by a supreme being & that supreme being can create people who are born intersexual(born with both sexual organs), then doesn't it stand to reason that a supreme being could also create a woman trapped in a man's body?

Not sure if most people see it that way. But all that matters is that we are true to ourselves and happy with who we are.
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DiamondBladee

Quote from: Adchop on February 04, 2016, 09:37:31 PM
I'm usually not a fan of the saying "you can't understand what I'm going through, unless your going through it as well", but in the case of gender dysphoria I find it an appropriate way of viewing things.

I agree, but there's still people who genuinely don't understand, even if you sit there and try to help the understand.  At that point I usually just give up trying to explain any further.
~ Ana Maria
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Obfuskatie

It's impossible to genuinely understand for someone who isn't trans. That doesn't mean a cis person can't empathize with us after spending time getting to know us.


     Hugs,
- Katie
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If people are what they eat, I really need to stop eating such neurotic food  :icon_shakefist:
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DiamondBladee

Quote from: Obfuskatie on February 05, 2016, 07:06:07 AM
It's impossible to genuinely understand for someone who isn't trans. That doesn't mean a cis person can't empathize with us after spending time getting to know us.


     Hugs,
- Katie
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Amen xoxo
~ Ana Maria
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Leslie36369

I get how people have questions, but there are so many ways I can reword my responses to the same people. I think my poor mothers mind is going in circles trying to understand even a small part of it. She seems to think we can find an alternative. For some one who was strongly opposed my use of performance enhancing substances during my athletic days , she has been as pro steroid as a 300 lb leaned out pro wrestler lately. As if steroids will solve this problem. I must have to keep reminding her your in the right book, but reading the wrong chapter. Hormones will solve the problem. You are thinking of the wrong hormone sweetheart. Lol this is why I am do terrified of transitioning. It opens to many unwanted social doors.

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I feel like an alcoholic that celebrates my 90 day chip with champagne
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