Coping strategies!

[jamier]

Hey

I'm Jamie, I'm 15 and I am a (pretty questioning) trans male/genderfluid. I am very much in the closet from everybody, and confusion about my identity pretty much reigns supreme at the moment. Just wanted to say hi!

But! So this doesn't become another 'saying Hi' thread, I also wanted to ask people: what do you do when you feel like worries over your gender identity are becoming all consuming? How do you cope?

For me, I do Taekwondo. The club I belong to is mostly boys, and for some reason when I am sparring with them or practising I feel like the worry about my gender just goes away for a while. Smart people, why is that? XD

[Dena]

Welcome to Susan's Place. Distractions can take you away from your uncomfortable feelings for a while. In my case, it was computer programming as it took intense concentration to resolve some of the software issues I faced. The problem is that distraction only buys you comfort for a short period of time and when the distraction ends, you are back where you started. At age 15 there might still be some benefit for you to attempt to obtain treatment. If your bones haven't fused yet, you could gain additional hight with blockers that would allow you to reach a more normal hight. Blockers would help reduce the discomfort that you feel as well.  If you wish to explore the option of coming out, let use know and we will provide the information we have as well as help you with the process.

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[Megan.]

As Dena says, distractions. I'm also in computing, but over the years I've leaned Japanese, done sailing, car restoration, online gaming, poker, built computers and had many other countless hobbies and projects. I can't answer why this works, but in the end, the disphoria always came back, and it gets tiring working to always keep your mind busy. In the end I just needed to rest my brain, and had to face the trans beast to do that.

[Matthew]

Working out works for me - it also can masculinise your figure.

I've been lifting recently, working on shoulders, upper back and obliques (along was general core stuff).

Larger shoulders and back muscles make hips look smaller, and training obliques should get rid of some curves. I'm not 100% sure on how effective it is on transguys yet, but some cis guys I know do a similar thing to improve their figures.


I also recommend walking, if I'm having a particularly bad night I'll go on a long 2-3hr walk with headphones on, when I leave I'll not be feeling like it, but by the time I'm back I'll always have a clear head.


Also regarding your question about taekwondo, being in a mostly male environment (especially pre transition) is always a great feeling, I myself loved football, karate and WWE style wrestling when I was younger, which was between 50% and 100% male environments.

[jamier]

Thanks guys I appreciate all the replies.

I'm definitely not ready to start transitioning yet, at least in the sense of starting hormone blockers. I think I need to get things straighter in my own head first.

Matthew - I like the idea of working out! I have a relatively 'boyish' figure anyway so a bit more muscle definition would definitely help the androgynous thing I am going for at the moment.

I think you are dead on about the all male environment. When I do TKD I really feel like 'one of the guys', and my gender doesn't matter. Plus it's the chance to behave in a very 'unladylike' way by punching and kicking other boys!