I am having a hard time

abd789 · February 18, 2016, 07:09:43 PM

I was hiding in a womens jacket (womens blouse under neath) until the last few days... I wont say Im cured yet... but I need to get prepped for summer time

KristyWalker · February 18, 2016, 07:31:40 PM

I have always pictured myself as a t-shirt and jeans type of girl only wearing a dress for special occasions. Most of the people I view as role models are that way so this is making me feel the closest on the outside as to how I feel on the inside as I ever have in public in my life happy.

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abd789 · February 19, 2016, 05:26:14 AM

Me too Kristy

Jeans and Tshirts or slinky, print blouses and Im a sneaker girl too. Im not into heels, I do have some but Ill pass...
I havent been brave enough to wear my flats out yet... but Im so comfy in sneakers... Im not even sure I will

KristyWalker · February 20, 2016, 11:48:18 AM

I am going to keep my current shoes I found a pair that I buy over and over again.

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KristyWalker · February 22, 2016, 10:26:01 PM

I am doing another first and as in the past the anxiety over doing it was worse than doing it. I added a bra and to the obviously female t shirt. Each step I take I feel more and more like myself and it feels good..

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abd789 · February 23, 2016, 05:38:25 AM

Quote from: RitaChans on February 19, 2016, 05:26:14 AM
Me too Kristy

Jeans and Tshirts or slinky, print blouses and Im a sneaker girl too. Im not into heels, I do have some but Ill pass...
I havent been brave enough to wear my flats out yet... but Im so comfy in sneakers... Im not even sure I will

I wore my flats out saturday nite!

abd789 · February 23, 2016, 05:40:04 AM

today Im struggling with a challenge

I have to go somewhere that I see as manly.... ive pushed the boundaries recently but really want to wear a sweater I got the other day.... I have about 2 hours to decide.....

Briezy · February 23, 2016, 06:44:55 AM

Quote from: RitaChans on February 23, 2016, 05:40:04 AM
today Im struggling with a challenge

I have to go somewhere that I see as manly.... ive pushed the boundaries recently but really want to wear a sweater I got the other day.... I have about 2 hours to decide.....

Just be true to yourself. It's good to challenge yourself but don't beat yourself up if today isn't the day you go to that "manly" place in a cute sweater. Maybe it's the next time.

Or maybe you getting to wear the sweater you want is more important to you than what the manly men at this place think, which is pretty freeing.

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abd789 · February 23, 2016, 07:29:08 AM

thanks.... today is not the day, thats my decision.... Im super pms today.... $:-\$

KristyWalker · February 24, 2016, 11:07:47 AM

Rita do what you feel like if you don't want to don't. I realized that we all do this at our own pace and there is no one way to transition just our own way. I admire you and your courage you have already gone farther down the path to feel like the person you are than I have. Thank you

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Briezy · February 24, 2016, 02:32:28 PM

Quote from: RitaChans on February 23, 2016, 07:29:08 AM
thanks.... today is not the day, thats my decision.... Im super pms today.... $:-\$

Right? lol...This is such a winding path to be on I don't think I would survive if I set down a bunch of "should" before me. "I should wear what I want even in situations that can make me panic attack level uncomfortable." or whatever. That's the kind of attitude that dictated my old life and the old me. Now I am just trying to be myself, and you know what? Every day that changes a little bit and I have to be strong enough and kind enough to myself to be okay with today not being the day because I know if I stay on the path that I am on that soon enough every day will be the day.

_Brie Katherine

Rachel · February 24, 2016, 08:27:18 PM

I go to a LGBT gym. I would change in a private locker room (gender neutral) and go to group. Then I would go to a store in the gayborhood then a WAWA (convenience store in my neighborhood). One time there were three bikers outside a WAWA and I parked next to them and they didn't care. That was a very cool feeling.

Then 11/12/15 I changed my work ID and the next day I came out at work. The first day I expressed at work I walked across a bridge from where I park. Then into one hospital an ambulatory care building and then into another hospital ending up in the control Room. I was frightened. I walked in, in front of my 3rd shift and said what do you think? How do you like my purse? Any suggestions? They had some suggestions. I did that for all three shifts.

Now expressing isn't a thought. Well actually it is; I look at what other woman are wearing and we sometimes discuss where thing came from and cost. I have a homework assignment from 3 woman to try something next week. It is fun. Things change

KristyWalker · February 25, 2016, 01:40:34 AM

I wore a sports bra to work to work today for the first time and it felt great I felt like my truck self. Tommorow might be different but I have learned to take this day by day and do what feels right to me. I also made an appointment for a mani/pedi today and was planing to only have color on my toes as of now I am planning to have my fingers painted the closest to T.A.R.D.I.S. Blue that I can (if you don't know the Tardis is the time machine and space ship in the show Doctor Who).

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Myrrial32 · February 25, 2016, 02:28:11 AM

I have to say sports bras are like my most favorite bras ever. Most of them have pockets you can put inserts into and don't have to worry about keeping everything in place. Over time I have added more and more things until I was full time almost before I realized it. The last big thing that seemed to do wonders was after I started getting laser hair removal on my face. Without facial shadow and boobs, its pretty easy to get by now. I just continue to work on slowly improving my presentation more and more as I go. The next big thing will be dealing with the VA to get my HRT going, but being a government agency it is its own kind of struggle.

With Love,
Myrrial

abd789 · February 25, 2016, 06:06:51 AM

Good job Kristy

We just do what works for us and ease into the role... I dint mean to put pressure on ourselves... maybe I did... I was trying to force myself to move faster but thats not always best. I just dont want to go stagnant waiting over what I think someone else thinks...

sorry if Im all over the place at the moment. Im dealing with one particular group of people in my life at the moment, like a 3rd of those I deal with regularly. They are ex marines, ex police, hunters, alpha males (they think) and that is a scary bridge for me to cross. I have alot of anxiety over it and its a beat down when I dont express around them. They seemed to really like me, but its hard because they dont know what they are dealing with... or do they? They are gay haters and talk meanly about jenner as well... so you can see my concern?

KristyWalker · February 25, 2016, 07:36:09 AM

Yeah even though everyone I have told has been supportive I have had anxiety I cannot even begin imagine if I did not have that.

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KristyWalker · February 26, 2016, 07:52:04 PM

I got a mani today and got color my fingernails are now painted Tardis blue and I am wearing my new Doctor Who shirt that I got today with a sports bra. I am happy and feel good.

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RavenMoon · February 26, 2016, 11:08:44 PM

In every day life, I look very androgynous. I wear lots of unisex clothes; converse Chuck Taylors, Doc Martins, and even clogs. I mostly wear black t-shirts and black very skinny jeans. They are women's jeans, but who would know?

Then I have long hair, get my brows threaded and wear nail polish.

At the moment, no one mistakes me as a woman. Unless they aren't looking at my face. That's because I still have to shave and always have a shadow.

I'm just starting out.

But I've made myself feel better by not wearing any male specific clothing.

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I am having a hard time