Friends

[alexa_rose]

Hello!
I'm new here and thought this would be a good place to start. I am a girl and my partner of almost 4 years just recently came out to me as trans. He is Mtf, non transitioning, still using he/him pronouns but exploring the middle ground between male and female. At first it is very hard to understand but I like to think I've been nothing but accepting since day one. He is the most important and special person in my life and we have a very intense spiritual and mental connection. Which is part of the reason why he knew coming out to me that I would be more than willing to take on whatever endeavors are brought our way. We are much better together no matter what the circumstances.
I have very much been enjoying his feminine side (which was already there but more so now since we've talked) and embracing my best friend as I paint his nails and give him make up tips. We have so much fun together. I love his new underwear choices which I think are just adorable and to see him in tighter more feminine clothing is actually quite exciting. He says that he is sill attracted to me and has no intention of exploring other options and I believe him (although there is always a bit of insecurity in my mind) Today things are great between the two of us and I feel closer than ever to him.
Part of me fears it couldn't possibly be this easy. We are slowly increasing these experiences and have even started to tell a family member or 2 along with a close friend. I guess I am nervous about our future sometimes. We still want to be together forever and have a family.
Does anyone else have any experiences as a significant other to a trans person? I have yet to meet anyone in my situation. I am curious to hear how other people are coping and working on their relationships as part of a transgender couple. Looking forward to hearing anyone else's experiences and open to any friends[emoji4] thanks for reading!


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[audreelyn]

Hey Alexa.

I was in a relationship with a female--myself being FtM, she went through the same insecurities of doubting attraction, doubting her own womanhood, doubting my orientation etc. Ultimately our relationship failed because she couldn't trust me. She couldn't trust that I loved her, that I was attracted to her, and because she allowed her insecurities to take over and brush off any explanations I had.

So trust your significant other. It'll make you two stronger. There shouldn't be any reason to not believe them. Be happy that they are courageous enough to trust you and to take the first step in being who they truly are with someone they truly want to be with.

Cheers.

Audree

[Marienz]

Hello!
I'm new here and thought this would be a good place to start. I am a girl and my partner of almost 4 years just recently came out to me as trans. He is Mtf, non transitioning, still using he/him pronouns but exploring the middle ground between male and female. At first it is very hard to understand but I like to think I've been nothing but accepting since day one. He is the most important and special person in my life and we have a very intense spiritual and mental connection. Which is part of the reason why he knew coming out to me that I would be more than willing to take on whatever endeavors are brought our way. We are much better together no matter what the circumstances.
I have very much been enjoying his feminine side (which was already there but more so now since we've talked) and embracing my best friend as I paint his nails and give him make up tips. We have so much fun together. I love his new underwear choices which I think are just adorable and to see him in tighter more feminine clothing is actually quite exciting. He says that he is sill attracted to me and has no intention of exploring other options and I believe him (although there is always a bit of insecurity in my mind) Today things are great between the two of us and I feel closer than ever to him.
Part of me fears it couldn't possibly be this easy. We are slowly increasing these experiences and have even started to tell a family member or 2 along with a close friend. I guess I am nervous about our future sometimes. We still want to be together forever and have a family.
Does anyone else have any experiences as a significant other to a trans person? I have yet to meet anyone in my situation. I am curious to hear how other people are coping and working on their relationships as part of a transgender couple. Looking forward to hearing anyone else's experiences and open to any friends[emoji4] thanks for reading!


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Hello
Your situation sounds very similar to how mine started, although I have 100% faith yours will survive:)
I love the things you are saying in helping him paint his nails and tips on makeup. Where are you located?

Feel free to read my story on here. I am still very close to my now ex partner and I still help him/her in talking about things and doing makeup or clothes tips:) I'm actually really excited to continue helping him/her, with everything laser, hair styles anything that he/she needs:) my only regret is we didn't work our way through this, I still wish we had of, even if he transitions!

I wish you the best of luck in your situation, keep remaining open and honest to yourself and to him:)

Much care Marie:)


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Significant other
Heterosexual woman

[Marienz]

HI Again,

Sorry I sent this way to quickly as I was rushing to a meeting.
I wanted to say the fact that the view of him in tight clothes kind of excites you, is a wonderful start. You clearly love this man for much more then his male body:) You love him for the person he is...wonderful:)

I felt the same...it took me awhile to think I could possibly find my ex as a woman attractive, but the first time I saw him in woman's bedroom attire, was when I knew I could easier see past all that if he transitions to the public. I find him attractive as a female and I still do.  Infact still to this day, I would never be embarrassed to go into public with him or introduce him to my world as a her.  I also felt/feel a deep sense of connection to my ex. I feel so lucky to have him/her in my life still, And I'm sure him/her feel the same in regards to me.

These are lots of wonderful things, you have to look forward to, since you are working through it together, how exciting

Keep working on these things together, is my best piece of advice I can give you, keep talking and mostly, keep each others thoughts and emotions at the forefront of each others minds. If you feel something you may talk about, could potentially hurt the other, think allot about the best time to bring things up. Be willing to compromise together, as a couple.

I look forward to hearing all about your journey together

Marie xx

[JQ]

Hi Alexa, it's exciting to hear your story. I've been going through this with my fiance as well. I'm a gg and I knew early on that he identified as transgender but he wasn't even sure what that meant. Now he identifies as both male and female, more gender fluid than one or the other. We had a rough patch a year ago and cancelled our wedding, but we have worked  through our issues and our wedding is back on. I honestly feel like the luckiest person in the world. If you need someone to talk to, please consider me. I'm very excited for the two of you!

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[alexa_rose]

Hey Alexa.

I was in a relationship with a female--myself being FtM, she went through the same insecurities of doubting attraction, doubting her own womanhood, doubting my orientation etc. Ultimately our relationship failed because she couldn't trust me. She couldn't trust that I loved her, that I was attracted to her, and because she allowed her insecurities to take over and brush off any explanations I had.

So trust your significant other. It'll make you two stronger. There shouldn't be any reason to not believe them. Be happy that they are courageous enough to trust you and to take the first step in being who they truly are with someone they truly want to be with.

Cheers.

Audree

Thank you for the advice Audree! I am truly happy that he is feeling so much better after telling me, we both are. I feel our love is growing stronger than ever before!


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[audreelyn]

Thank you for the advice Audree! I am truly happy that he is feeling so much better after telling me, we both are. I feel our love is growing stronger than ever before!


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You're welcome, Alexa (:
We should all be here to support each other! I'm happy to hear it's working out. Congrats (:

Audree

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[alexa_rose]

HI Again,

Sorry I sent this way to quickly as I was rushing to a meeting.
I wanted to say the fact that the view of him in tight clothes kind of excites you, is a wonderful start. You clearly love this man for much more then his male body:) You love him for the person he is...wonderful:)

I felt the same...it took me awhile to think I could possibly find my ex as a woman attractive, but the first time I saw him in woman's bedroom attire, was when I knew I could easier see past all that if he transitions to the public. I find him attractive as a female and I still do.  Infact still to this day, I would never be embarrassed to go into public with him or introduce him to my world as a her.  I also felt/feel a deep sense of connection to my ex. I feel so lucky to have him/her in my life still, And I'm sure him/her feel the same in regards to me.

These are lots of wonderful things, you have to look forward to, since you are working through it together, how exciting

Keep working on these things together, is my best piece of advice I can give you, keep talking and mostly, keep each others thoughts and emotions at the forefront of each others minds. If you feel something you may talk about, could potentially hurt the other, think allot about the best time to bring things up. Be willing to compromise together, as a couple.

I look forward to hearing all about your journey together

Marie xx

Thank you Marie so much for your kind words!! This made me smile so much.
I am located on the East Coast of US since you were wondering.
So the funny thing is I've never had a problem with telling women they are beautiful and I've often felt some sort of romance by how beautiful a woman can be. Although I've never really thought of myself as bisexual I have had some minor intimacies with women. So this makes it a bit easier for me to accept my SO's changes.
The part that is sort of confusing now is the middle ground between the two. He is feeling very gender fluid more so than MTF (at least at this current moment).  But what makes it easier is the communication.
Before he came out to me I always felt he was guarded, never showed emotions and couldn't let me in to help. He had to put on the front of being the big strong man. Now that wall has come down quite a bit and we are more in tune with each other than ever. We have both been more aware and attentive to each other's needs. This could possibly have been the best thing to happen to us!
He has always been my best friend (I never quite got the hang of girlfriends as a kid) but even more so now that I have my sweetie to paint nails with and do our make up and go shopping! I have a great time in every way with this person. He makes me laugh and that's super important to me [emoji847]
I am definitely going to give your story a read as I am curious for things to expect and bumps to hit.
Another thing I am worried about is when we come out as a couple. What does this mean for me and how people perceive us? Not sure what to expect there with this kind of stuff. Naturally I want to believe I don't give a ->-bleeped-<- what people think but when it comes to family, friends, etc... Idk. not sure what I am getting into here lol [emoji13]
Regardless, it will always be us two forever against the world. "Til' 3005 I got your back we can do this" -a line from OUR song [emoji180][emoji177]


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[Emileeeee]

I was also in a relationship with a woman and I myself am MtF. She also accepted me as is and is my wife. It can work. Just stay away from the bad vibes. There are lots of horror stories on the net and believe me she's found them all. But somebody else's story is not yours. I also mentioned this post to my wife, so hopefully she'll take a look.

[alexa_rose]

Hi Alexa, it's exciting to hear your story. I've been going through this with my fiance as well. I'm a gg and I knew early on that he identified as transgender but he wasn't even sure what that meant. Now he identifies as both male and female, more gender fluid than one or the other. We had a rough patch a year ago and cancelled our wedding, but we have worked  through our issues and our wedding is back on. I honestly feel like the luckiest person in the world. If you need someone to talk to, please consider me. I'm very excited for the two of you!

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Hello! Thank you so much for your response it is so appreciated !
I'm sorry I am new to the lingo- what is GG? My SO is settling somewhere in the gender fluid region as well as he becomes more in tune with his feelings and emotions.  I am so so so happy to hear you two have your wedding still going!! I have never thought about marriage until I met my boyfriend and that excites me that it can be in our future still too. I am still a bit nervous about the future but I suppose that's normal especially since we are still young (24 &25). I would love to talk more and exchange some stories with you ! Again thank you for your support!


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[alexa_rose]

I was also in a relationship with a woman and I myself am MtF. She also accepted me as is and is my wife. It can work. Just stay away from the bad vibes. There are lots of horror stories on the net and believe me she's found them all. But somebody else's story is not yours. I also mentioned this post to my wife, so hopefully she'll take a look.

Emilie,
This is so true!! Everyone has their own story and we are writing our own! At first experience my significant other did a lot of Internet research (as did I but less so because of fear of what I would read) and that really got to both of us. I had a big melt down after watching a sad documentary with him, and he was trying to fit the "roles" and "labels" he found on the Internet and it was a lot of stress to handle. After that we both sort of decided we had to do what was best for us and make our own path and since then I feel we are finding the flow and balance! [emoji1] I'd love to talk to your wife as well! Thanks so much for commenting and supporting ♥️


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[Marienz]

I'm so glad things are working out for you:)
I can 100% relate to how you felt your partner was guarded emotionally before coming out to you.... We had that same issue. Even with not being together with my ex partner now we are still close and live in the same house for now. I love her as a female and find her so easy to talk to.
I wish you the best of luck and love:) I look forward to hearing allot more.
Marie xx


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Significant other
Heterosexual woman

[JQ]

Hi Alexa, GG refers to genetic girl, meaning I was born a woman and continue to identify as a woman. If you're interested in talking more I can send you my email in a private message. Have a great day!

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