Everything was going ok until I made a stupid mistake again. I have an eating disorder that involves vomiting basically everything I eat(gross, I know) into the trash can. Well last week I was feeling more depressed than usual, and when I get to the point were I practically give up on life; my room became a mess with clothing and empty water bottles everywhere.
Fast forward to 12am this morning, my dad saw some food that I had threw-up into the trash can and went rip me out of the bed and yell at me. Instead he discovered how messy my room was and got even more pissed. when he asked"why did you let your room get like this"? I couldn't give an answer so he slapped me really hard, I then got slapped again for reaching to scratch my head while he was talking... I got hit hard enough for my nose to start bleeding and my face to swell up. He then began to lecture me about how I was such a horrible person, and threatened to cut my hair if I didn't clean my room and stop crying/being depressed by the time he comes back on Friday. I will also get my hair cut off if i'm caught wearing my hair in my face. The worst part about this is the fact that I was just feeling better and I was going to clean my room when I woke up...Why would somebody come and randomly inspect my room at 12am!?!? I don't even understand why everyone hates me so bad. My brother is three years older than me, plays video games all day, talks rude to my parents, and doesn't do any work, yet they treat him like an angel. I NEVER raise my voice at anyone, I do all the work around the house+my school work and fix professional meals for everyone 24/7, but they treat my like the devil for hating myself.
When he comes back is probably going to be the new worst day of my life, and I have never felt more terrified before either.
I don't know if i will be able to ever transition now.
