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Started by Shiratori, February 20, 2016, 10:17:58 AM
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Quote from: Laurie on May 04, 2017, 03:25:20 PMHi Shiratori I just read this thread and I'm sorry that you folks across the pond have such a devil of a time having to wait so long for anything to be started. I waited 64 years but that was my doing. I changed all that in a short time once I figured out crossdressing was not enough. I took matters into my own hands then told my doctor and was getting my meds the right way in about 6 weeks and therapy about 2 months after. Hearing about you folks makes me feel guilty over the ease of my start. Hang in there, it will happen for you Shiratori. It will. Hugs, Laurie
QuoteProbably my earliest memory of not wanting to be a little boy was when I was sent to a local preschool and I learned that there was a difference between girls and boys. I always wanted to do the things that the girls got to do rather than "boy things". This being the 1970s I didn't really have a choice in the matter and had to do the stuff the boys did. My best friend there was a girl and so we usually hung out together at playtime and avoided the boys.When it came time to start proper school it started to become even more apparent to me that I wasn't allowed to do things with the girls, particularly during PE lessons. 5 year old me started to think that if I were allowed to wear girls' uniform then maybe I'd turn into a girl, although I never actually got up the courage to try this.When I was at home there were actually some girly clothes in the dressing up box so I would usually pick out one of the skirts to wear and would play at being Wonder Woman. It wasn't too long before my father's amusement turned to annoyance that his son was "a bloody jessie" and I wasn't allowed to do that anymore and was pushed towards things that would "toughen me up". During most of my childhood at school there were usually at least a couple of other boys who preferred to hand out with the girls at play at playtime instead of playing football so I would usually spend my time with them.Once I started at secondary school I had a reputation with the others who had transferred to that school with me as "the weird kid" so most of those 5 years were spent as one of the school outcasts and I spent most of my time with my own company as the girls at secondary school weren't interested in hanging out like they previously had. I spent most break times in the school library reading or using the computers. I got a Saturday job at Woolworths and would occasionally steal girls' clothing from the stock room (either underwear or swimsuits that I could put on under my clothes and not be noticed) but soon stopped that due to feelings of shame. I only had a couple of girlfriends during my teenage years and early 20s and those relationships didn't last very long as I would end up feeling jealous and resentful that they had the body that I wanted so badly. I think the longest I managed to sustain a relationship during those years was about 3 months and I would normally end up ignoring them until they left me.The majority of my 20s and 30s were spent smoking lots of cannabis and getting drunk every night as it helped to supress the feelings that hurt so much. I also decided that it was easier to not pursue any more relationships as I hated the way they made me feel and the way they made me hurt the girls I was with.All that came to an end 4½ years ago when a girl I'd known for many years and I suddenly discovered that we had become a couple. As the relationship progressed I came to realise that I would have to tell her the truth about myself if we were to have a future. I was nervous as hell, but luckily she was very accepting and has been really supportive and was the one who encouraged me to get our GP to refer me to the GIC as I kept chickening out. We have been engaged for a little over 3½ years but have agreed to hold off getting married until after I transition. She is the one who, when I get depressed about my body hair, baldness or masculine features reassures me that I'm a pretty girl and that she loves me. When I read about other transwomen losing their partners when they come out I realise how fortunate I am to be with Jem.
Quote from: meganjames2 on August 22, 2017, 05:24:22 AMThere is a Northampton GIC thread you're welcome to follow and contribute to.
