Non Binary Madness (With Poll)

[RenJB]

Hi all!
I'm new to the board.

I started this poll because this is something I've often wondered about with the rest of the trans community.
In my local community in Louisiana, we have this agreement that everyone expresses thier own identity how they see fit-- No questions, no explanations needed.
I know that's not the case in many places, though.

As for myself, I am 35 and identify as male, but I'm not very body dysphoric right now. I'm considering taking T just long enough for my voice to drop and then get SRS.

I love my hair. I don't like facial hair even though it's growing just fine as it is... and I don't want my build to really change. It's very androgynous.

I have a twin brother who also fits this physically androgynous mold. However, his hairline is maturing and receding a bit and it's upsetting to him.
On the other hang, my hair grows like a weed, and I love it that way... I'd hate for us both to be losing our hair... *laughs*

Please, I'd love to her your responses, and any insight or experiences you have.
Thanks for being here.

-Ren

[Matthew]

Welcome to Susan's Place.

My partner is non binary, so I know of the struggle and confusion involved. If you need an ear, my PM box is always open.

Not every trans person has body dysphoria, it is not a requirement to being trans. Everyone experiences dysphoria differently.


I look forward to seeing you around

[Dena]

Welcome to Susan's Place. I would give you a word of warning that your results with T can be very unpredictable. The opposite of what you want to happen could happen so be prepared for that. It is not clear if you are because of the title if you are non binary or FTM but we have areas for both. You will find that the FTMs spend most of there time in that area so questions targeting FTM subjects will get more responses there. You are free to post anywhere on the site you feel comfortable and if there is anything I can help you with, let me know.

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[suzifrommd]

My gender presentation is 100% female. Internally I switch between male, female, agender, or something else entirely.

I put "other".

[Devlyn]

I present as female. I would have liked to voted both and neither in the poll. I went with both.

Hugs, Devlyn

[Sharon Anne McC]

*

I identify as female; my orientation is not limited.

Nevertheless, it seems that I recently found myself in the midst of a losing predicament.

My post-op M-F friend has two SO partners:  one who self-describes as 'both male and female' and the other as 'heterosexual male'.  Fair enough - I accept you however you wish to be accepted.  Who am I to decide for you, eh?  Hey, I'm the one looking for a F-M partner; how could someone consider my perspective prejudicial.

During the course of recent conversation, this post-op M-F friend who self-identifies as strictly 'heterosexual female', variously identified her 'both' partner as 'female' sometimes then as 'male' at other times.  I tried keeping current with which term she used to be accurate and polite.  I must have missed a beat or perhaps something happened that I did not notice.  Suddenly the friend got angry at me, called me a 'bigot', and how dare I call her partner 'male' though I merely took her cue and her reference point at the times when she used that identification.

Also, she scolded me to 'never' use the word 'transsexual', use only 'trans'.  Apologies again; I came from a time when 'transsexual' was quite acceptable.  I read its use here at this site without scorn.

Now I remain frustrated and confused.  I made no intent to harm, I followed her lead, yet she made me the, um, er, bad 'guy'.

Being in this 'trans' community for more than four decades apparently still keeps me missing whatever are new concepts and terms.

My sincerest apologies to anyone who finds my naivete' harmfull.

*

[JoanneB]

With a good 80% of my time on this rock spent living one way, I cannot deny that their are many "male" aspects I identify with. Just as I could not keep on denying for 100% of my time on this rock that I always felt and always wanted to be a woman.

I had to vote both. Especially since I saw 7 years ago I needed to get these two great aspects of myself to peacefully and equally (at a minimum) to coexist.

[Asche]

I went with "neither."

I've always known I was "assigned" male, but have never identified with it.  More precisely, I think I got alienated from being male at a very early age.  I always thought of it as kind of a birth defect I had to live with, or like being born a serf in the Middle Ages.  I always envied the higher-born (=girls), but it never occurred to me I could "rise above my station."  I always identified with girls (and women), but never as one.

So now, over a half-century later, I'm transitioning and plan to live as a woman.  I still don't think I'll ever actually identify as a woman.

[sparrow]

This poll is pretty bad.  Total lack of options (like devlyn, "neither and both" are equally applicable... and all of these options fit me at some point during a given week...) is one thing... but describing our condition as "madness" is not appropriate.  I hope somebody can fix that.