Marriage

[Victoria L.]

I'm really sorry if there is a topic on this already...

but I've been thinking lately and I don't think I'll get married... I don't think I could ever live happily in a family with me as the father... I really want to get away from any male intonations in my life as possible... Besides wouldn't I basically being digging my grave by getting married without telling her?

I know I'm a girl, and I think I'll sacrifice relationships and just be myself...

I know many of you here are in happy and successful relationships, despite your internal sex...

So what are your views on this?

[Kimberly]

... and some of us have wanted to be married since 4^th grade. ^*shrug*

But you know Tori, there are all kinds of people out there with preferences ranging all the way across the board.

Regardless though, you do yourself and her (or him) a disservice by not mentioning this part of yourself. If history is any teacher it does not go away even if you suppress it (not recommended) and all of a sudden 30 years from now you break and can't deal with who you've become... Your partner has a right to know that it is a 'possibility'. (only problem being if you tell them they probably won't understand by and large unless they understand the condition.)

Basically that aside all I can tell you is I damn well expect my (imaginary ^*sigh*) partner to let me in on that 'little secret'.

[stephanie_craxford]

I've been thinking lately and I don't think I'll get married...

Hey there,

You should not get married just because others do, or because some think that it is the right thing to do.  If you don't think that you will marry then don't and that's great.  I've been married myself for 33 years, and it's been great for me, but that doesn't mean it will be great for you.

Yes there there can be a lot of pressure from family and friends to marry but the bottom line is do what you want to do, don't get married because you "Think" it's the right thing to do.

Steph

[molly]

Hi Victoria:  It looks like the marriage issue has already been covered, I just want to say you don't have to sacrifice relationships to the girl you are, you will just have different relationships than if you were a man in a mans body.

Follow your heart.  As had been said if you suppress it will come out later, that's what happened to me.  Denial is not a good long term way to live your life.

Make the right choices today and have a happier, fully life tomorrow.

Go ahead and be the woman you know you are, it's OK.

Molly

[Sheila]

I know that if I could have followed what I knew when I was younger, I probably would not have gotten married to the woman I have now. I would have missed a lot and I would not have had my two children who I really love. I would have been a lot happier, had I not have been married as I would not have had the problems that I had. You can't cry over spilt milk and you really can't fore see the future either. You have to do what is in your heart. In this day and age, the trans people are out there, we are in the public eye and we are not taken as freaks anymore. You have to tell the person you are in a relationship who you are if have not transitioned yet. There should not be any lies at the beginning, otherwise it will come back to haunt you later. You will find someone that will be just right for you. Only do it for you though. You might want to bank some sperm for a later date, in case you might want some children of your own. Just a thought.
Sheila