I'm a guy and I want a vagina

[Spy200]

Hey! I'm currently a 14 year old guy but this might sound a little wierd but I want a vagina instead of a penis. I don't know why. I just feel like I need one. Does this make me trans? I'll explain more if anyone is more confused then I am.

[Dena]

Please stay with one thread as it will make it easer to stay with you. In the post you made yesterday I provide a couple of links that will help you understand what transgender and transexual are about. This is a condition that is self diagnosed and not something anybody else can decide for you.

I was a transsexual before I had surgery. I wanted the life of a woman and surgery completed an eight year quest for me. In your case, MY OPINION is you are transgender and very likely transexual as well. There are two things you might feel. You might feel uncomfortable with your body the way it is and/or you might feel uncomfortable with the role in life you live. In my case, I was mostly uncomfortable with my role in life but many on this site feel uncomfortable with their body.

There is nothing weird about what you feel. About 1 in 700 babies are born feeling the way you do. In your case, before you were born, there was insufficient testosterone to masculinize your brain so your brain developed as a default female brain. Nearly everyone on this site, currently about 20,000 people have felt something like what you feel. There are both Males wishing they were females(MTF) and females wishing they were males(FTM) on this site. We consider ourselves brothers and sisters because of what we share. As I said yesterday, we are here to help you understand and explore your feeling. Some day you will need to make a decision as to what you want to do about them and we will help you with this however we can.

[GarryLynn]

i guess that would kinda make you transsexual, because transgender is changing your gender, could also be transsexual but you don't really have to be transgender to be transsexual. When I was a guy I wanted a female genitalia but none of the other female stuff. Now I'm a girl and I like my male genitalia and don't want any surgeries at all or anything. But labels are labels, you can be whoever you want, personally, I like guys with female genitalias .-.

[Devlyn]

i guess that would kinda make you transsexual, because transgender is changing your gender, could also be transsexual but you don't really have to be transgender to be transsexual. When I was a guy I wanted a female genitalia but none of the other female stuff. Now I'm a girl and I like my male genitalia and don't want any surgeries at all or anything. But labels are labels, you can be whoever you want, personally, I like guys with female genitalias .-.

Actually, I think you got it backwards. 

Community Definitions:


Transgender: an inclusive umbrella term which covers anyone who transcends their birth gender for any reason. This includes but is not limited to Androgynes, Crossdressers, Drag kings, Drag queens, Intersexuals, Transsexuals, and Transvestites.


I completely agree with you that labels aren't that important, though.

Hugs, Devlyn

[Rejennyrated]

Actually, I think you got it backwards. 

That slightly depends on whether you accept the current bio-psycho-social model of these conditions as being correct. Personally I don't, either as a person who suffered from one of them, or professionally as a trainee doctor (now nearly qualified).

What I do heartily endorse is the notion that its essential not to get hung up on the politics of labels - because however these conditions may be defined and related (or indeed not) it doesnt really matter. The only thing which does matter is that you as an individual feel some measure of discomfort with the status-quo and need a solution to that.

[Devlyn]

I brought it up in the context of "it's easier to understand each other when we're all using the same terminology." Those are the definitions we use on the site. We're trying to help a young member resolve what is going on with their life, not get bogged down in current bio-psycho-social models. 

Hugs, Devlyn

[Sebby Michelango]

I guess that would kinda make you transsexual, because transgender is changing your gender. Could also be transsexual but you don't really have to be transgender to be transsexual. When I was a guy I wanted a female genitalia, but none of the other female stuffs. Now I'm a girl and I like my male genitalia and don't want any surgeries at all or anything. But labels are labels, you can be whoever you want, personally, I like guys with female genitalias.

The trans umbrella is a very wide diversity that covers transsexual, intersex, genderfluid, genderqueer, agender, demigirl, demiboy, androgynes, crossdressers etc.
By the way transsexuals are transgender, but transgender isn't necessary transsexual. Since that time when the trans umbrella term being invented, it has always been the name of a spectrum.

Transsexual are people who has a gender identity that doesn't match what sex they got assigned at birth. As I know their identify either as man or woman. Sex is what's between your legs, gender may refer to gender roles or gender identity (which gender you identify yourself with). Some people identify themselves as both gender or no gender, they are also under the trans umbrella. But they are non-binaries and doesn't always want to be labeled as trans.

There are both Males wishing they were females(MTF) and females wishing they were males(FTM) on this site.

I'm not a woman who wish to be a guy. I'm a guy who isn't cis. I has never been a girl, but didn't realize it before I turned 13.

Hey! I'm currently a 14 year old guy but this might sound a little wierd but I want a vagina instead of a penis. I don't know why. I just feel like I need one. Does this make me trans? I'll explain more if anyone is more confused then I am.

If you experience gender dysphoria, you may be trans. But the only person who can figure out if you're transgender or not is yourself. Nobody else can figure it out for you, but gender specialists can give you advice at the journey. By the way, do you feel you has a lack of other feminine secondary features too like boobs, high voice, hips etc? It's very common for transsexuals to have both features and genitalia dysphoria. But every people are difference and not every transgender person experience the same dysphoria. Dysphoria can be social and about the body. Just because you're under the trans umbrella doesn't necessary mean you're transsexual. You may be a non-binary.

[Rejennyrated]

I brought it up in the context of "it's easier to understand each other when we're all using the same terminology." Those are the definitions we use on the site. We're trying to help a young member resolve what is going on with their life, not get bogged down in current bio-psycho-social models. 

Hugs, Devlyn

Indeed hence the second part of my reply - which as always was the ONLY important part! Whenever I reply my first para is usually just a scene setter, in this instance hopefully introducing our young friend to the idea that this is one of those situations where there really isnt a single "right" answer - the right answer is the one which works for you and helps you to feel comfortable, which is what this is all bout! Thus we have no functional disagreement, except to point out that there is amicable room for diversity of opinion and that, far from being a problem, is actually healthy.

[GarryLynn]

Well I look at it at the biology side tho, like sex is your biology (genitalia, chromosomes etc) and the psychological part is your gender. For me I'm transgender and present as a female but I am okay with my sex, no surgeries or anything, but, I use the hormone replacement therapy not to alter my biology (even if it does or not, since my chromosomes and genitalia don't [really] change but I develope breasts) to alter my appearance and such as apart of my gender, and I don't consider myself transsexual. Could also be the other way of being male at brain and identifying as male but wanting to alter your biology, like getting a female genitalia and wanting to stay a guy. Yea I see transgender is the umbrella term, but I kind of look at it differently. I've done like years of research on all this, and I still don't know a whole lot so pardon me if I seem ignorant lol

[Sebby Michelango]

Well I look at it at the biology side tho, like sex is your biology (genitalia, chromosomes etc) and the psychological part is your gender. For me I'm transgender and present as a female but I am okay with my sex, no surgeries or anything, but, I use the hormone replacement therapy not to alter my biology (even if it does or not, since my chromosomes and genitalia don't [really] change but I develope breasts) to alter my appearance and such as apart of my gender, and I don't consider myself transsexual. Could also be the other way of being male at brain and identifying as male but wanting to alter your biology, like getting a female genitalia and wanting to stay a guy. Yea I see transgender is the umbrella term, but I kind of look at it differently. I've done like years of research on all this, and I still don't know a whole lot so pardon me if I seem ignorant lol

You're not ignorant. You just confuse people. Because for most people a word has a meaning, but the same word means something difference for you.

Here is a random example of how people can misunderstand. Most people think "gay" means "homosexual". But other people think "gay" means "happy". If the majority in the neighbor hood think "gay" means "homosexual", but only a couple of them think that means "happy", it would easily be misunderstood and confusion.

[Spy200]

I've decided that I will get a vagina but the rest stay as a guy for now but is that even possible?
Also what would I need to go through in order to get that done?
And how would I explain this to my parents?

[Dena]

I doesn't work that way. Most treatment programs are designed to help us be sure we are not making a mistake. If you are younger than 18, you are placed on blockers to prevent masculine features from developing. You require one years of hormones and a year of living in the role of a female. Before surgery you would undergo facial hair removal if needed. Upon completing these requirements and having letters from therapist stating you have completed these tasks, you would be permitted to have surgery. Surgery is a graduation and not a goal.

After completing surgery, you would be ready to continue your life as a woman and the only link with your past would be the need to continue taking hormones to maintain your body.

Dealing with parents is complicated. Some people have come to this site and their parents have totally rejected the idea their child is transgender. Others have embraced their children and have done everything possible to help them deal with this. Still others have yet to tell their parents.

Look at our Wiki page on the left side near the bottom under family and friends. You will find coming out discussed in detail. It is best if you tell them in person or if you can't do that, write a letter and remain with them while they read it.

Look at the Wiki page and come back here and let us know what you think.

[AnonyMs]

I've decided that I will get a vagina but the rest stay as a guy for now but is that even possible?
Also what would I need to go through in order to get that done?
And how would I explain this to my parents?

I'd say its practically impossible before 18, but after that its just somewhat difficult. Not many people want to do this, but if you search around you'll come across mentions of people who manage it. I have some interest in it myself so I've been looking.

If you wanted to transition and be female, but viewed this as some kind of easy way of getting started, I don't think it's a very good idea. That doesn't sound like what you're after though.

[GarryLynn]

I've decided that I will get a vagina but the rest stay as a guy for now but is that even possible?
Also what would I need to go through in order to get that done?
And how would I explain this to my parents?

Well, that would be complicated. You'd have to talk to a therapist or such first. It seems unlikely to have a bottom surgery without being full mtf transsexual BUT it isn't impossible. Even if you had to live as a woman for awhile to get bottom surgery, wouldn't it be worth it? I'm sure there is some way, just don't loose hope

[Debra]

I would say your best bet is to start talking to a therapist about it. Try to explore the reasons why you want a vagina. Most of us who have a vagina (that weren't born with one) only wanted one along with being female.

I personally would rather live as a female with the wrong anatomy than the other way around....but either way it would feel slightly incomplete. But that's one perspective.

The purpose of therapy is to try to explore yourself to understand.