Quote from: kira21I think there are some real ethical problems with labelling having sex without disclosing trans status as a deception that is a betrayal of trust.
Sorry if I wasn't clear; my point has nothing to do with "disclosing trans status." Rather, I'm talking about a person's right to consent to what sexual activities they want to engage in. It's quite possible that someone might consent to being penetrated by a biological penis, but not to being penetrated with a foreign object. It's vital that they have the information they need to make this decision.
Even (perhaps especially) in the BDSM community, informed consent and respecting people's boundaries around this sort of thing are seen as essential for ethical "play." It's a standard which
everyone should adhere to.
And in any case -- why are there ethical problems with expressing an opinion?