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Advice on what i should do about this problem?

Started by Midnightstar, March 25, 2016, 07:32:58 PM

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Midnightstar

When I went to the hospital I told my mother that I wanted her to call me he and I yelled at her in anger and being unstable. I also told her a couple times before all of that trouble happened. Then she started getting super dramatic and troubled by everything as if it was to much to handle, so i backed away when she asked in distress "Do you want me to call you he?" Well be being scared of her reaction or dramatic things that happen with her that i didn't want to create i ended up backing away in fear and saying not "No" but it's "fine don't worry about it" i didn't mean don't call me he but i didn't have the guts to say yes or go into details knowing it could create a fight along with overwhelm her with to much like it is starting to seem is happening. So yea iv'e done this like 2's already but i have others knowing i want to be considered he already so she has to be confused. And i don't know how to fix it so iv'e been stressed out because when i don't want to hurt family i say/do things that aren't always what i'm wanting. 
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Ms Grace

Nothing productive comes out of fighting and yelling. If you want to talk to your mother about this you're going to have to learn not only how to keep your cool in these situations but also how to stand up for yourself and ask for what you want when she is being dramatic. I suggest you go to her and say "I meant 'yes', I do want you to call me 'he'".
Grace
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Transition 1.0 (Julie): HRT 1989-91
Self-denial: 1991-2013
Transition 2.0 (Grace): HRT June 24 2013
Full-time: March 24, 2014 :D
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Midnightstar

Quote from: Ms Grace on March 25, 2016, 07:38:15 PM
Nothing productive comes out of fighting and yelling. If you want to talk to your mother about this you're going to have to learn not only how to keep your cool in these situations but also how to stand up for yourself and ask for what you want when she is being dramatic. I suggest you go to her and say "I meant 'yes', I do want you to call me 'he'".
yea, doesn't work that's why i asked here getting things across to her is like trying to talk to a turtle.
Iv'e tried for years to speak nicely and trust me i zone out when upset so me snapping doesn't shock me but at the same time i don't really know. sometimes i think if could go back in time from step one and fix it i would but i can't.
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FTMax

Write her a letter. Obviously you have issues expressing yourself when you're put on the spot, so write it all down and put it away for a day. Take it out, read it, and rewrite anything that doesn't feel right. Put it away again, take it out the next day and share it with a friend or on here and make any recommended updates. Then sleep on it. Make sure it's something you can live with. Then either give it to her directly or leave it somewhere she'll find it.
T: 12/5/2014 | Top: 4/21/2015 | Hysto: 2/6/2016 | Meta: 3/21/2017

I don't come here anymore, so if you need to get in touch send an email: maxdoeswork AT protonmail.com
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Midnightstar

Quote from: FTMax on March 25, 2016, 08:27:39 PM
Write her a letter. Obviously you have issues expressing yourself when you're put on the spot, so write it all down and put it away for a day. Take it out, read it, and rewrite anything that doesn't feel right. Put it away again, take it out the next day and share it with a friend or on here and make any recommended updates. Then sleep on it. Make sure it's something you can live with. Then either give it to her directly or leave it somewhere she'll find it.

I think i'll end up doing that
and how could you tell did you pick up on that you see it in my posts just curious don't mind me my mind is constantly running.
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