Starting to crack up or something

[DAWN MID GIRL]

Hi everyone, well it's been about 6 mouths seance my awakening to being transgender. I have gone through a lot and have learned much about my self, I have work past my suicidal depression by learning to love my self for how I am as well as what I am. I had been alright with every thing except bottom disforay. But now I'm feeling more delusional like I'm in a dream and I can't tell the difference between reality and the dream, And my bottom dis foray is getting worse IV had that problem for a very long time to the point I have nearly cut it off I had been able to dell with it by Barings those thoughts about it but lately it's all I think about I don't know how to dell with because there is nothing I can do about it. I am trapped in this limbo state because of where I live and work, I can't move forward at all because these people are very homophobic and racist and I can't move out because I can't afford it. I'm very very eratable as of late because of every thing I feel like I have the whate of the world on my back and I'm suppose to fix everyone's problem and it seems like no one gives a dame about me gust what I can do for them. My hearts to big and I keep getting taken advantage of for it, it's my greatest strength and my bigs weakness. I'm about at my wit's end and don't know what to do.
Any advice would be appreciated!!!

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[suzifrommd]

Any advice would be appreciated!!!

I don't know what would work for you, but I'll do the best I can.

* Try to find an ally. Just one ally. Someone who is open-minded about trans people and who can listen and be there when things are toughest.
* Make a plan. Even if it's very long, come up with a path that, once traveled, will get you where you want to go. Keep track of your progress on this plan.
* Find things that help you feel true to yourself. For me those were reading, listening to music, writing, walking, and spending time with friends. For you they'll be different. Try to figure out what those things are and do as much of them as you can.
* Look for ways to bring joy to others. It will help distract you from your current situation.
* Pray. I do a lot of praying. I'm not sure about God so I pray to my inner strength. It seems to work just as well. Pray for the courage to stick to your plan and for acceptance that it will not take as long as you like.

Hugs, Dawn. I really hope this helps. It's the best I've got.

[DAWN MID GIRL]

Thank you Suzifrommd for your advice.
The ally they gust keep leaving, as for the plans iv tried that many times it gust keeps falling apart in my hand's.
I have a direct on it's my home site where I help people it makes me feel really good helping people and I have friends there but they don't understand what it's like to be transgender so I can't really talk to them about things.
I write poetry to let out my emotions and I'm writing a book about a transgender girl to help.
And I meditate to help work things out.

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[Asche]

Since you asked for advice:

Find a good therapist.

Unlike friends (and allies?), they support you without expecting you to support them (except financially ), they're not personally involved in your problems, and, if they're right for you, they have more experience with the kinds of problems you have than you do and have special training in it (if it's the sort of thing for which training exists.)

[DAWN MID GIRL]

Thank you Asche, I wish I could afford one I have the net address for a transgender therapies but I can't afford them ether.

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[Jacqueline]

Suzi always gives such good advice.

It is really hard to stay positive and able to move forward at times.

You may feel alone but there are many of us here. If you have found love in yourself, you know there is love in the world. Keep moving slowly forward. This is a very long journey. It sometimes takes much longer to get started that any other part.

It sounds so hard. I feel for your situation. For me sleep, books, music and helping others seems to help me out. I hope you can find something for yourself.

Good luck. I wish you love, acceptance and a smoother journey.

Joanna

[DAWN MID GIRL]

Thank you Joanna, my home site where I help people help make me feel better when I'm there. But it's the bottom disfory that I have a hard time with after 42 years of dealing with this it's getting very hard to suppress those emotions I gust want to feel right.
That is why I joined here to find someone that can help me dell with it better.

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[Asche]

Thank you Asche, I wish I could afford one I have the net address for a transgender therapies but I can't afford them ether.

I don't know what country you're in, this makes a big difference as to how to get affordable therapy.

In the USA, a lot of therapists have sliding scales for fees, so if your income is low, see if they are willing to reduce their fee.  Psychological or counseling clinics are likely to have reduced fee (or perhaps even no-fee) services.

Also, while it's good to find a therapist who specializes in transgender issues, you may still get useful help from someone who doesn't.  Gender issues are often tied into non-gender issues which "regular" therapists are familiar with.

[DAWN MID GIRL]

Thank you Asche, I live in Florida, it's difficult to find the information in my area for transgender people mostly what I find is down south 3 or 4 hrs away but I'm slowly start to find things that are not openly public around here but it takes a lot of diging to find.

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