Short term on T?

[Ciaran]

I'm curious if anyone here has experience or insight on only going on T for a short period of time. I have thyroid problems which has caused my hair to thin out drastically and my biggest fear of going on T is that I'll end up bald very quickly. I've talked to my endocrinologist about this and she said she hasn't had much experience with FtM patients but is willing to give it a try with me when I feel like I'm ready. I see her once a month so she'd be keeping close track of everything.

I've been seeing her for a long time due to the thyroid issues and I trust my doctor, we've done everything to thicken my hair but it's still diffusely thin all over. No male pattern baldness going on yet. Ideally I'd like my voice to change and gain a bit of muscle but not stay on it long enough for my hair to start thinning anymore since my dad went bald at a young age and I'm already 25. I've trained my voice to talk as low as I possibly can but I still don't quite pass since I have a very girly voice.

Is it possible to achieve what I'm hoping for or am I just going to have to choose between passing and going bald on T or keep my hair as it is and not fully transition? Right now I'm unsure of whether I'm 100% FtM or just androgynous leaning towards being more comfortable presenting as male but I feel like most of that is because I'm torn on whether T will help or make things worse since I have several other health issues and am disabled so stuck living with parents for now. I'm out to some of my immediate family and friends so it's nothing new to them that I've dressed in male clothing exclusively for a while now but I'm still scared of T bringing unwanted changes before what I'm hoping will happen. Thanks for any input.

[Dex]

Unfortunately you won't be able to tell at what pace your changes will happen in relation to hair loss. Some people lose hair quickly. Some people lose hair slowly. Some don't lose much at all.  Additionally, your voice may change quickly or it may not. It's extremely individual. I apologize because I'm not trying to be intentionally vague.

I'm 32 and started T at 30. My brother has lost most of his hair already (he's 2 years younger).
My experience has been that the amount of hair I lost (just at the temples) happened mostly within the first year. It's been pretty stable since then. That's not to say I won't lose more but what I did lose, I lost fast. My voice had changed substantially (and was distinctly male) by month 6, but it continued to mature and change until about 2 years on T. I think it's pretty stable now, though, as it hasn't sounded different for at least the last 4 months or so.

Body changes are usually some of the last things to fully develop and, unfortunately, those changes will likely be temporary if you do go off of T. I've seen substantial changes in where I carry fat and how much muscle is my "baseline".  But if you did gain muscle on T, once you quit T, your body would somewhat revert back to the estrogen based patterns you had before. 

Sorry I don't have any concrete advice for you. I don't have medical problems that caused hair loss but going bald was one of my biggest concerns going into transition. Ultimately, that risk became far less important than everything else I gained. I certainly don't want to lose all my hair but knowing what I know now about how right I feel in my body compared to before, personally (for me only) I would never trade that for a full head of hair even if I do lose it all.

It is a completely individual decision that has no firm answers

[FTMax]

My first recommendation would be to have your endo get in touch with one of the larger LGBTQ centers that specialize in HRT for trans folks. It's great that she is on board to help and try it out, but she may need help figuring out the hows/whats/whys that are easily explained by someone who's been doing it for a few years.

Unfortunately, there is really no telling what T will do to you and when it will do it. Vocal changes occur over time - so if you were on for a short time, your voice may not get as deep as it would if you had stayed on for longer. Go take a look at any of the guys on YouTube who have been on T for over 5 years - you'll be able to hear definitive changes from pre-T to 3 months, to a year, to 2+ years, etc. Speaking personally, my voice started to drop within a week on T and dropped several more times over the course of my first year on it. I haven't noticed any additional deepening for a few months now, but that doesn't necessarily mean it's done. This is different for everyone though. I know I've read from some guys on here who are not happy with the way their voices have changed (or not changed) on T over time.

As far as hair loss goes, I've heard the general rule of thumb is to look at males on your mother's side of the family and that is typically what kind of hair you'll end up with. If you have brothers, they may be a better indication. I haven't experienced any hair loss on T. It's gotten darker and my hairline has changed, but that's about it. This is very similar to what I've noticed in old pictures from my mom's side of the family, so what I've heard is fairly accurate at least in my own case.

Like Dex mentioned, muscles are easier to gain on T but could be lost if you don't maintain diet/fitness after you're off. Fat would also redistribute to a more female pattern. So if those are important to you, it would be much more important to remain on T.

So it really comes down to what is important to you. I generally can't in good conscience advise people that T is right for them if they couldn't handle getting all of the potential effects and side effects. So if going bald is not something you could handle, then I can't tell you that T is right for you. Low dose or regular dose, it doesn't matter - there's no guarantee what it will do for you and when. I started on a low dose and got just as many changes as guys that started on a full dose.

But if your voice is the one thing keeping you from passing, I would maybe give it a shot? Start on a low dose and record yourself/take pictures daily so that you can see what changes you're getting. I feel like based on most people's accounts of their transition that I've read, vocal changes typically outpace hair changes. So maybe you could get to a point where you feel good about your voice before much or any hair loss occurs.

[Ciaran]

Thank you both for the responses! I figured it wasn't a definitive answer but my mother's dad has a full head of hair at 76 so I may be okay then, that's really reassuring since my dad's side of the family has the bald gene that hits before 30. I don't have any brothers or uncles so no way to tell there but as far as I know the men on my maternal grandmother's side all had hair late in life. I know it's not a guarantee but I can always stop if my hair starts to fall out faster than my voice drops.

My voice is what gives me the most dysphoria other than struggling to bind a large chest on a small frame with an even smaller waist. I'm 5'5" but wear an XS in most clothing when I can even find anything that fits and a 28-30 in jeans when my actual waist is 25". I used to corset train since I've got a lot of back pain from both chest size and a chronic pain condition. Now I regret the permanent waist shrinkage, it's drastically small for an adult male and my binders pinch there but ironically binding helps my back more than the corseting did. Luckily my shoulders are already wider than my hips even though I really need to work on building some muscle but that isn't as much of a priority to me so if that reverts back I'm not too concerned. As a tiny dude with small hands and wearing a kid's 4.5-5 in shoes I can pass as much younger than my age sometimes until I have to speak. I hate the sound of myself talking, singing I'm a contralto which helped me learn to talk lower but I seem to jump up an octave or two in public settings or around certain people if I don't know them well and am immediately pegged as female. At home I can almost pass but it's very monotone, I switch between that and the higher sing-song type voice due to Asperger's so I can't help it when I talk that way and I've tried really hard to stop it but nothing seems to work.

FTMax, that's a great idea about asking my endocrinologist to outsource more information prior to starting this. I'd like to go on a low dose at first to ease into it. I'm okay with body hair, downstairs growth, fat redistribution, and all that stuff that happens with T I just can't stand how I sound speaking and am desperate for it to change. My dad is a bass when singing and has a very deep voice so I might get that from him. Maybe I'll get lucky and that will happen quickly, I don't mind if other things change back as long as I don't end up sounding like a little girl again. I'm a femme gay guy so I don't need to end up super deep, just enough to pass and ease the dysphoria.

[groudon18]

Really important to think about, going on and off T a lot can really wreck your body internally. It would likely be best to just take very low doses of testosterone should you decide to do so. If you only take it for a short period of time, it's also possible for some changes to revert back to their original form (cycles, fat redistribution, face shape) though some things like voice are permanent

[Felix]

I've had drastic peaks and valleys with T due to finances and I agree with groudon it can be terrible. Try to keep whatever you do steady.

It sounds like you need to be seen as male and don't want permanent hormones. If I were you I would just go on testosterone for a month or two. That should be more than enough to lower your voice.

If you want muscles the work you put in is going to be more important than T. I've gotten easy muscles from testosterone without trying, but it was always in the context of walking long distances, cycling, carrying groceries, etc. If you are sedentary in everyday life then you won't be muscular. And honestly hormones don't matter near as much as all the other factors.

You'll have to forgive me for not understanding the fear of baldness. My take on it is if I was a "normal" man and I went bald then that is just my lot in life. I'd rather be as normal as possible than avoid hair loss and I can't imagine living as a girl with a full head of hair. Some men go bald. My dad went white at like 32 so I have relatively low standards.

T is hurting my health. My heart is funky and I have high blood pressure and the neuropathy in my hands and feet skyrocketed when I went on testosterone. My blood sugar went up pretty quick too. I went from thin to chubby. My sex life changed (I have a shorter attention span and less depth of feeling). My skin got greasier. My sleep rhythms and dreams changed. My mental health got way better but I lost a lot of empathy and ability to listen.

It's all more than worth it to me. I'll happily cut years off my life and get fat and whatever. All the downsides are what I should have had if I hadn't been born defective.

You might could ask your prescriber to let you try a dose or two or 4 or 8 of T to see how it feels. In my case it felt like coming home. I feel normal on testosterone in a way I never felt before in my life. My anxiety mostly vanished and my sense of self got more coherent and good. You shouldn't go bald from a dose or two, and you can stop injecting the minute you notice hair loss. With this hormone you get fast results and you can also get it out of your system fast.

Best of luck however you go at it.