Another reason I cannot say

[Larisa]

Well great another reason I cannot tell anyone that Im a girl inside. Well someone my mom knows is hardcore like religious conservative and ya so If I say hey mom, Im a girl, this guy Id fear would tear not me but her apart like take it out on her, not me as she wouldnt if she knew let him near me. It sucks that this is the world I face and no wonder I dont talk. It was never my family I feared not being accepted ever, it was other people so I just deal with it by being sadly quiet. I never feel right but ya if it keeps people from being hurt, than that's what I have to do I guess.

[Laura_7]

Here are a few resources that might help you :

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,197523.msg1756901.html#msg1756901


*hugs*

[Daphne Alice]

Larisa1983, YOU are being hurt by not being you, right? So either way someone gets hurt. I understand your position, but you can't let the terrorists win.

I have to believe there is some diplomatic way to handle this and have no one get hurt. This friend of your mom sounds awful, by the way. Hopefully she'll see that.

[Maddie]

It is a burden not to be able to share truth with those we want close to us!! 

How unfortunate that the hardcore religious person you describe is close enough to affect your mom!  Sorry that you don't feel safe to confide in her or other family members without them having to share with others who won't accept you. 

My family are not close with my soul either.  In fact, I have felt at times betrayed.

Please don't stay sadly silent any longer than you want to, Larisa.

[Eva Marie]

Larisa-

I'm very sorry that you feel that you have to remain quiet to keep from harming people.

The person you are harming the most is yourself by suffering in silence and not being the authentic you. Most of us go through a similar phase of trying to stuff our situation as far down as we can to avoid affecting the people around us and we experience many bad consequences from doing that.

The people you are protecting have the problem, not you. They are entitled to believe whatever they want, but they have no right to push those beliefs onto you.

Is there any way that you could discuss all of this with someone? Perhaps a therapist?