My good old male best friend me, is still protecting me. Supporting me and keeping me safe. He is often very sad however that he cannot do more to fulfil my full dream of a full transition. He has worked hard all his life to give me what he can, including GRS. And in my own way, I thank him with all my heart. We live as one but seperate minds, and I guess we always will. I will continue to dream that one day I can finally say "Goodbye" to him and thank him for being so kind and protecting me. Anyway.. Hard to explain..
I am still waiting on the UK Courts to decide on my Gender and Name changes. This happens on the 15th of this month, its been put back and back. I think they were waiting on the legal statement by the Australia Government to state that changes to the marriage Act have been moved into law.. I cried when they first refused my name changes. But they were bound by Australian laws.
All my Austrian documents have my new name. I am just waiting on the changes by the Tax office and that's about it.. My Aus Passport has my new name and gender as F.. All my other docs have my new name and it makes me feel very happy.. A great deal of thought went into my new names. For one, they are gender neutral since they are actually surnames.
Slowly but surly my old male me is slipping away. Only divided by the money it takes to make the final move. It took years to save up for my GRS, but FFS cost way more. I still consider myself to be one of the lucky ones. Its all very strange since when I was a young person, all I wanted to do is wear a dress. A psychiatrist asked me many years ago, when I first became aware that I was transgender. I replied.. "Since I was born".. Many parents thought I was a little girl. Even at primary school I was mistaken for a girl. I was a very pretty teen too.. The only real clue was my name..
A girlfriend of mine, committed suicide last week. Her funeral is on Friday.. I really do not want to go, I hate funerals.. She was just so pretty but found it hard to accept she was born male. She was the prettiest of us all.. I really thought she was a CiS gender female when I first met her. After my SRS, a few of use chipped in to boost her money to pay for her own GRS.. She too had her name knocked back by the UK Courts just a few days after I was. It was just another hit to her self-esteem.
Its hard to explain to some people just how important a name change is.. Our name is our identity. Its a major thing that defines us as female and for me, it helps with making me feel more feminine. So my name changes have have a huge difference to my own happiness..
TR...