Trans art project

[Eevee]

I consider myself an artist at heart, but I've had a major block in inspiration since I started transitioning 17 months ago. I'm feeling a desperate need to express myself through art again, and I want to make my experience with transitioning the subject of my work. To me, art should spread a message or tell a story, and I want to communicate my experiences in the last year (and my continued experiences) through my next project.

I also want to add other voices to my work as well, so I would like to hear some input from others here as well. For those of you who have had any feelings on this at all, how has dysphoria and/or the need to transition made you feel before or during your personal transition? If someone needed to understand your emotions, what message would you want to send to them so they could really connect with you?

Now obviously I am going to be able to represent MtF people far better than anyone else since that's my personal experience, but I am more than happy to hear from others as well. I also don't care if you are pre or post anything. Please share either way because all feelings are valid here. It would actually help for me to have a stronger universal message, which is why I want to hear from others instead of just pulling from myself.

Thank you in advance. This could really help me out. 

[suzifrommd]

For those of you who have had any feelings on this at all, how has dysphoria and/or the need to transition made you feel before or during your personal transition? If someone needed to understand your emotions, what message would you want to send to them so they could really connect with you?

I never had classic dysphoria per se. The way it felt to me was that since my teen years I had this notion that if I were somehow to be able to live a woman's life, it would be the most wonderful thing that could ever happen. Like winning the lottery a hundred times over.

That didn't bother me. We all want things we can't have. A lot of guys wish they could be rock stars or astronauts, I just wished I could be a girl. I saw it as an unattainable dream, a beautiful part of me that I 100% accepted but didn't see a way I could change.

Once I started exploring my gender at Susan's and in a local support group, and I saw that it was possible to transition, there was no stopping me.

Was it as good as I thought it would be? I would say better. I never dreamed I would be as attractive and passable as I am, or that I would fit so comfortably into womanhood.

At least ten times a day I look at some aspect of my life or physical person and think "Wow! I'm a woman!" and I get this amazing feeling of euphoria that nothing compares to.

[Denise]

I have Synesthesia (from Wikipedia: neurological phenomenon in which stimulation of one sensory or cognitive pathway leads to automatic, involuntary experiences in a second sensory or cognitive pathway.)  Everything I do has to be related to something else for me to remember it.  If someone tells me something and I don't have a way to ground it in something else, I'll probably not remember it.  (My wife hates it. I forget stuff all the time.)  In early education years I would relate numbers to colors for example.

Why am I saying this - because I would think about the future I would relate it to a dark swirling gray mass not unlike storm cloud.  A lot of people feel that their future is dark, gray,... etc, but for me it was different more concrete in my mind - the future IS (now was) Dark Gray.  They are indistinguishable.  In fact when I would see storm clouds I would see "my future."

My transition has actually disassociated those two things.  It's totally amazing.  My entire outlook on the future is more open, clear, crisp. It's like the gray storm has ended.  If you are looking for an artful way to put it.... For me I see the storm dissipating and a rainbow is appearing.  (Corny since the LGBTQ symbol is a rainbow, but there is only coincidence to blame for that.)

I only wish I could paint.  I would love to paint that image and hang it on my wall.  Maybe I'll commission it.

[Alycya]

Hi, i love to paint.
For a time i painted female bodies, and this has been widely misunderstood. I don't know if this replies to your demand, but it's what i feel to share now. I painted female bodies just to get more in tune with a raw spontaneous feeling i felt inside myself that was totally unrelated to any eroticism. It has been an exploration into something of natural and absolutely innocent. ... and, well, my paintings have been obviously misunderstood and labeled as a sort of "soft pornography" ... but, patience... It has not been the first time i got misunderstood and, surely, it has not been the last one.

... just to reply better to your posting: yes, to be accepted and recognized as female is Very important for me, it's like a thirst, a craving for some water.

Some days ago my psychotherapist accepted me as female, and it has been just like to drop water in a arid land.

I felt immensely happy, it may sound silly, but i don't remember to have felt a such intense happiness before, and before to sleep, that night... i just thought: "yes, a single drop of love can turn the whole earth green"...

Well ... my cent here.



Hugs,
Aly

[Eevee]

Oh your responses are beautiful so far! Please keep them coming, because this is already evolving the ideas I have in my head into a proper image.

[KarlMars]

This is a great thread, OP. I grew up in an artsy family, but I wouldn't have the first clue of what kind of media of art to use to express my trans feelings. The art that I'm best at and most like to do is collage and decoupage. I want to learn some more wood working and metal crafts. All I can think of right now is making a collage with images from magazines and printed internet photos of things to express my inner masculinity.

I might make a scrapbook of images telling my story as I go through it all.

I have an idea that if someone is sad about their dysphoria and gets depressed they can look at their art and feel better.

Another idea is that if someone was into really hardcore crafting and had the time they could produce multiple art and sell on etsy. You could use the funds to pay for hormones, save for GRS, or donate to some GLBT charity or anything else you need.

I will bookmark your thread, Eevee. Bless you for posting this.

[kathb31]

Hi Eevee,

Ever since I kind of lost it about 2 years ago and realized I needed to become
who I really am, my art has become an important part of my dealing with stress,
pain and uncertainty. I use it as a sort of therapy and share it with my counselor.
I tend to draw somewhat emotional, symbolic images of how I'm feeling .. the
drawings can be a little strange .. maybe even disturbing but seem to always
need to be drawing something. If you are having a bit of mental block you may
want to try drawing images which are about how your feeling .. your thoughts
or your dreams as this seems to help me.

All the best,
Kath

[cgh1523]

I have no ability when it comes to art except in my imagination.

I read your post last night and my mind wandered before i fell asleep and I got an image of a flower drawn white outline on black and at the center was yellow with the face of who I desire to be.

Not sure if that is what your looking for but I thought I would share.

[Lcleo]

Are you the person from https://eev.ee/ ?

[Eevee]

Are you the person from https://eev.ee/ ?

No, that's not me. I don't have a website or much of an internet presence (yet).

[KarlMars]

I have started to cut things out of magazines, and to make a scrapbook about my male outlook on life. Collages are the only art form I actually do. Bless you, Eevee!