what triggers moments of dysphoria for you.

[jossam]

I look at my body. I see the extra fat I've put on around the belly instead of my hips. I see my chunky shoulders. I see parts of my body which scream "bloke" and I have to wear selective clothing in order to draw attention from them.

I imagine the kind of woman I'd like to be - style, mannerisms - and realise I look nothing like that (and not without considerable effort). I'm balding and without gender dysphoria, I'd be happy to keep my head shaved.

These little reminders can eat away at me.

Are you on HRT? Estrogen helps redistribute fat from the waist to the hips and thighs, as we know, although part of fat distribution is also genetics, and unfortunately we can't selectively choose where to lose or gain fat. But there are cis women who have fat on their bellies, who are apple shaped or rectangular, etc. Also, exercising will help lose fat. You might also try to wear those belts that make the waist look smaller.
I know dysphoria makes everything look bad, but we trans people often discourage ourselves too much and judge ourselves too harshly, so, good opinions from others might help   from what I see in the picture, if it's you, your shoulders look fine!
Besides, some cis women have large shoulders. My cis female girlfriend has pretty wide shoulders, I guess it's because she's tall and has a large bone structure overall. My sister has wide shoulders too, so it's not so rare in cis women   sure, it's hard to feel okay when we have a certain body type in mind and we want to get as close to that body type as possible. I have one too, and it makes me feel horrible I can't have it right now (and maybe never), I'm not even on T yet   but the more we focus on that "perfect body" we want, the worse it gets. Besides, there's really no perfect body, and humans are pretty diverse. We tend to get influenced by the media and the images of the perfect man and woman they feed us, but it's bs   humans are diverse, sex differences can vary a lot. I know it probably doesn't help much, I deal with horrible dysphoria, but I try to confort others

Regarding mannerisms sometimes the harder we try to imitate something or someone the more we fail. Look at those mannerisms, try to actually not try so hard to be like that, and later it might come naturally when you least expect it!

[Debbie]

For me, it is most definitely body hair. The god-damned stuff comes at me day after day, and it is a relentless struggle to keep it at bay. Of course, the cruel joke is that none of it will grow on my head. If only I could do a swap. Anyway, now that I've started HRT, it will hopefully make it slow down though I know it's not going to disappear unless a miracle happens.

I'm pretty much resigned to using a wig for the rest of my life, an artefact that completely and dramatically transforms my appearance.

[jossam]

For me, it is most definitely body hair. The god-damned stuff comes at me day after day, and it is a relentless struggle to keep it at bay. Of course, the cruel joke is that none of it will grow on my head. If only I could do a swap. Anyway, now that I've started HRT, it will hopefully make it slow down though I know it's not going to disappear unless a miracle happens.

I'm pretty much resigned to using a wig for the rest of my life, an artefact that completely and dramatically transforms my appearance.

There is electrolysis for body hair removal too. Hair transplantation might be an option for your head, so yes, that swap exists I don't know much about it though, but maybe others here do.
Waxing dramatically slows hair growth down. It's painful, but it slows it down. I don't know if you do that. Do you? If you use razors or shaving creams, dump those and switch to waxing. Waxing makes body hair a bit thinner and it slows down its growth. Body hair can't disappear unless you do electrolysis.

[Debbie]

There is electrolysis for body hair removal too. Hair transplantation might be an option for your head, so yes, that swap exists I don't know much about it though, but maybe others here do.
Waxing dramatically slows hair growth down. It's painful, but it slows it down. I don't know if you do that. Do you? If you use razors or shaving creams, dump those and switch to waxing. Waxing makes body hair a bit thinner and it slows down its growth. Body hair can't disappear unless you do electrolysis.

Thanks for the reply and suggestions.

I have had a full body wax several times, and it is fantastic for up to two or three weeks after. But then when the hair starts to grow, I start shaving because I'm usually not prepared to allow myself to become sufficiently hairy to allow further waxing. Waxing does slow hair growth, and so do hormones.

[Hunchdebunch]

When people on Facebook for some reason forget how to read and refer to me using my birthname instead of the name that is actually written on my profile.

[Kylo]

This morning I found one of my NEW bras had a whole bunch of threads untangled from it by the washer and these damn things ain't cheap. I shouldn't even have to buy these things at all, and here I am watching them disintegrate in the wash... or maybe it's the fact they're being chafed by the binder. Ugh, worrying about devices invented to keep the chest-bursters in check is so not even me.

[Snöfrost]

Seeing other cisgirls. I wish I could have hips like them and having a flawless voice.

[MercenaryElf]

Interacting with people in non-work, non-focused social settings.  Really, just social settings in general where I have to interact with others beyond ordering a cup of coffee.  Especially around groups of ciswomen who assume that because I don't look as male as I'd like to yet, I'm really just a tomboy and "one of them".  I keep trying to remind myself that they mean well and many don't or wouldn't know I'm trans, but it still triggers the dysphoria and leaves me trying to shove myself into the corner and blend in with the shadows.

I have had a full body wax several times, and it is fantastic for up to two or three weeks after. But then when the hair starts to grow, I start shaving because I'm usually not prepared to allow myself to become sufficiently hairy to allow further waxing. Waxing does slow hair growth, and so do hormones.

Before coming out to myself and just letting the hair on my half-Mediterranean arms and legs grow back out, I used an epilator on my arms (shaved my legs).  It was less messy to handle than waxing (especially since I did my waxing myself at home), and I felt like I could touch up more often than when I waxed.  Like waxing, it stings until you get used to it, but might be worth a shot if you haven't tried that yet.

[Rem]

It makes me really sad reading all of these posts...  ...

I've worked at the same place for over a year now. And have been on hormones for almost 6 months.

I've been transitioning in my workplace, and the people who I told before going on hormones have been really cool about it. But unfortunately I work around a lot of people who are constantly moving and we all see each other at least a few times a day. Once I figured out why I was so depressed, I REALLY noticed how much your gender is mentioned in slang or just passing by.

The point of saying that is, there is still some people who aren't informed. Most of them are middle aged or older women, because they seem to not take it as well. One of them is hard core christian, and I fear the moment she hears about it. But my workplace doesn't tolerate intolerance, and that is one thing I am thankful for...

I HATE when I'm standing next to a woman, and someone passes by because they ALWAYS say "ladies". It's becoming a huge pet peeve and really kills my usually neutral to good mood. Pronouns are such a pain... why couldn't we all be referred to in similar words??

I work in a very physical environment. We move freight and packages with our own strength. And sometimes fellow dudes assume I'm not strong enough to move heavy things. It's cool when I get the chance to shut them up by doing it myself, but sometimes I can't display that dominance over my ability. It sounds ridiculous but it really irritates me they think I'm incapable of things because of my feminine appearance, despite having strong arms.

My body is slowly starting to change, but I've always had HUGE hips. I'm polynesian, and carry a lot of my weight in my butt and hips, and I despise it. My chest isn't as big, but sometimes it looks huge to me, and I really want to rid myself of it.

I've had a friend who has wanted me to go out and be "bros" with him so we can get to know each other better. But I can't bring myself to go out because I've too afraid I'll be misgendered by others and treated like a lady. 

[Kylo]

Actually you know what makes me extremely dysphoric? Not that I don't have the body of a man, or am looked at as a man at the moment.

It's the fact our species is so heavily sexually dimorphic in the first place, and that our biology has necessitated a dichotomy of roles, and from that came an escapable culture of femininity and masculinity, and finally ideologies of femininity and masculinity plague us. None of these things will ever go away because our biology will not go away; we can't really fight the problems created by it or hope to gloss over just how deeply entrenched in human life and psyche they are. All that is to be done is to fall in with it, or be sufficiently changed to fall in with it; there is no real defying it unless you want some degree of ostracism. If we were not sexually dimorphic, if we were more like seagulls where the male and female birds look identical and their roles are minimally different, there would be far more equity, far less dichotomy and dissatisfaction with that dichotomy. Human life, culture and society would be so very different.

[AnxietyDisord3r]

Besides, some cis women have large shoulders. My cis female girlfriend has pretty wide shoulders, I guess it's because she's tall and has a large bone structure overall. My sister has wide shoulders too, so it's not so rare in cis women   sure, it's hard to feel okay when we have a certain body type in mind and we want to get as close to that body type as possible. I have one too, and it makes me feel horrible I can't have it right now (and maybe never), I'm not even on T yet   but the more we focus on that "perfect body" we want, the worse it gets. Besides, there's really no perfect body, and humans are pretty diverse. We tend to get influenced by the media and the images of the perfect man and woman they feed us, but it's bs   humans are diverse, sex differences can vary a lot. I know it probably doesn't help much, I deal with horrible dysphoria, but I try to confort others

It occurs to me that close relatives, if you have them, are the best guide to what you will look like after several years on HRT.

Heck, if you feel the need to imitate mannerisms, close relatives are a good place to go as well. Mannerisms can be affected by things like culture, personality (which has a large genetic component), genes (as in body shape and function--not everyone's fingers bend the same way, for example). I would leave impressions to the actors, unless you are an actor.

[AnxietyDisord3r]

Actually you know what makes me extremely dysphoric? Not that I don't have the body of a man, or am looked at as a man at the moment.

It's the fact our species is so heavily sexually dimorphic in the first place, and that our biology has necessitated a dichotomy of roles, and from that came an escapable culture of femininity and masculinity, and finally ideologies of femininity and masculinity plague us. None of these things will ever go away because our biology will not go away; we can't really fight the problems created by it or hope to gloss over just how deeply entrenched in human life and psyche they are. All that is to be done is to fall in with it, or be sufficiently changed to fall in with it; there is no real defying it unless you want some degree of ostracism. If we were not sexually dimorphic, if we were more like seagulls where the male and female birds look identical and their roles are minimally different, there would be far more equity, far less dichotomy and dissatisfaction with that dichotomy. Human life, culture and society would be so very different.

So, I've realized a lot of my rage comes from this place exactly. But I think it's a misdirection I created for myself (probably as a result of my parents forcing me to join Team Girl). Just getting misgendered wigs me out. I can't hate sexual dimorphism that much because I'm attracted to women's bodies. So, in the end, I am a hypocrite.

[AnxietyDisord3r]

Don't get me started on that "ladies" thing. Always delivered with that soupcon of condescension.

[Emileeeee]

I discovered another thing that does it for me today, being in a room packed with women and realizing that I'll never be as pretty as any of them. It made me wonder if it was even worth it, but to actually be able to look myself in the mirror, I guess halfway is better than no way.

[arice]

Actually you know what makes me extremely dysphoric? Not that I don't have the body of a man, or am looked at as a man at the moment.

It's the fact our species is so heavily sexually dimorphic in the first place, and that our biology has necessitated a dichotomy of roles, and from that came an escapable culture of femininity and masculinity, and finally ideologies of femininity and masculinity plague us. None of these things will ever go away because our biology will not go away; we can't really fight the problems created by it or hope to gloss over just how deeply entrenched in human life and psyche they are. All that is to be done is to fall in with it, or be sufficiently changed to fall in with it; there is no real defying it unless you want some degree of ostracism. If we were not sexually dimorphic, if we were more like seagulls where the male and female birds look identical and their roles are minimally different, there would be far more equity, far less dichotomy and dissatisfaction with that dichotomy. Human life, culture and society would be so very different.

Agree. I have spent most of the past 20 years telling myself that sex and gender shouldn't be important (self preservation since I just don't fit) to our basic humanity... to paraphrase an agendered friend (I just want us all to be humans in human bodies)... but I can't deny that the differences are entrenched and do matter to most people and also that I am not a woman in spite of my body's biological sex.

Sent from my SM-G870W using Tapatalk

[MercenaryElf]

Actually you know what makes me extremely dysphoric? Not that I don't have the body of a man, or am looked at as a man at the moment.

It's the fact our species is so heavily sexually dimorphic in the first place, and that our biology has necessitated a dichotomy of roles, and from that came an escapable culture of femininity and masculinity, and finally ideologies of femininity and masculinity plague us. None of these things will ever go away because our biology will not go away; we can't really fight the problems created by it or hope to gloss over just how deeply entrenched in human life and psyche they are. All that is to be done is to fall in with it, or be sufficiently changed to fall in with it; there is no real defying it unless you want some degree of ostracism. If we were not sexually dimorphic, if we were more like seagulls where the male and female birds look identical and their roles are minimally different, there would be far more equity, far less dichotomy and dissatisfaction with that dichotomy. Human life, culture and society would be so very different.

This has always bothered me tremendously, because even before I was able to admit to myself that I was trans, I could on some level identify and point out that my body had dropped me onto the opposite side of the dichotomy than I was wired to be on, and it affects how others respond to me.  In a different reality where humans were naturally more biologically androgynous, I could see myself feeling more at peace with my body as long as I was socially recognized as male.

It occurs to me that close relatives, if you have them, are the best guide to what you will look like after several years on HRT.

Heck, if you feel the need to imitate mannerisms, close relatives are a good place to go as well. Mannerisms can be affected by things like culture, personality (which has a large genetic component), genes (as in body shape and function--not everyone's fingers bend the same way, for example). I would leave impressions to the actors, unless you are an actor.

In some cases, even well-done impressions and imitations of close relatives might not do much good.  Periodically, I notice some mannerism of my brother's and comment that at least I'm not the only guy I know who does that.  He just looks at me somewhat blankly and says something along the lines of, "Trust me, I am not a good model for you if you want to pass."  I guess the best I can do right now is be myself -- which is its own feat and a bit of a new experience -- and hopefully will at least look more like him over time. 

[Midnightstar]

Hearing certain words referring to female parts can be a trigger for me
Or seeing my old photographs of me wearing clothing i was forced to wear.
I realized last night, or i new but it had hit me last night referring to the female hormones bother me and is a trigger.
So i have nothing funny, but that's what my triggers are.

[VivianB]

Lately my disphoria seems to be getting worse. Now if I just take a glance at a womans chest I feel bad that I don't have breasts and wish I breasts like hers.

[Davina Storm]

My dysphoria is triggered by 2 things. Firstly, well dressed woman with their makeup all done, makes me very envious and jealous. Secondly, but probably the most significant o fthe 2 is seeing my genitals and having male arousals from down there. I described it to my therapist the other day as being so severe, it feels like i am in pain. I cant wait for SRS. Hopefully in 6 months.

[Michelle_P]

Great topic.  I've been trying  to keep track of what the triggers are for me.

There's the obvious, seeing someone I'd like to be but cannot.  (Jealousy and envy there...)
Seeing my own genitals is there.  I realized that I was standing and moving when getting out of the shower to avoid getting a glimpse in the mirror.
Shaving!  Having to poke at the stubble and scrape it off, in detail, making sure I missed none. Yuck.  At least I know how to fix that one.
Guy talk.  Socializing with men.  I'm the outsider, and I know why.
Urology problems.  Its the genital thing again, AND the damn thing is broken. (I have to use intermittent catheterization right now, until I can get the root-rooter treatment again to unclog things.  Sure-fire recipe for dysphoria.  Great excuse for more powerful androgen blockers.  Doc, howzabout some spironolactone?  )