How to ask my mum for a packer for my birthday?

[Moneyless]

My 18th is coming up, I'll be starting T and other things with it. I know my parents are willing to buy me something expensive for my 18th considering it is my 18th, in Australia it's equivalent to your 21st. I want to get a reelmagik StP for my birthday, as I don't have a job and there's no way I'd be able to pay for it otherwise. It just seems like the perfect way to be able to pay for one asap, especially as they take awhile to ship. There's literally really nothing else I can think of that I want and I know they'd be willing to spend that much money on my present. I have no idea how to ask for one though. I don't have a packer and I've never spoken to them about it. They've bought me binders though. They refuse to give me just money for my birthday also. How can I ask them without freaking them out or it being mega awkward?

[susanlogan1203]

Maybe if you start to talk about her in general to test the waters.  Explain about how packers help trans men to deal with gender dysphoria and in particular how StP devices can deal with it.  It sounds like she's supportive, and that's a good start!  Just remember that she may have issues with it and need time to come to terms with you wanting one.  I'm ftm too but even so when my son was discussing getting a packer I had my own issues with it.  I only came out a few Months ago so at the time when he was talking about it I was pretty clueless tbh!!  Anyway you may find your mum has already thought this one through and is OK with it. By the way my son and I now sit and choose his packers together, so it will all come good in the end.  Good luck!

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[Moneyless]

Maybe if you start to talk about her in general to test the waters.  Explain about how packers help trans men to deal with gender dysphoria and in particular how StP devices can deal with it.  It sounds like she's supportive, and that's a good start!  Just remember that she may have issues with it and need time to come to terms with you wanting one.  I'm ftm too but even so when my son was discussing getting a packer I had my own issues with it.  I only came out a few Months ago so at the time when he was talking about it I was pretty clueless tbh!!  Anyway you may find your mum has already thought this one through and is OK with it. By the way my son and I now sit and choose his packers together, so it will all come good in the end.  Good luck!

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Wait you're FtM with a FtM son? That's interesting lol. I know my mum knows of their existence through documentaries and stuff but I've always laughed it off because I find it somewhat embarrassing for some reason.

[jlaframboise]

My mom and I are really close so if it was me.. I'd probably just tell her straight up what a packer is and that it'd help ease dysphoria in the end. Yeah it's awkward but like said above, your mom might have already had the thought in her head,  It all depends on your comfort level imo! I hope you get what you're looking for and just emphasize how much it's going to help you along with starting T!

[invisiblemonsters]

My mom and I are really close so if it was me.. I'd probably just tell her straight up what a packer is and that it'd help ease dysphoria in the end. Yeah it's awkward but like said above, your mom might have already had the thought in her head,  It all depends on your comfort level imo! I hope you get what you're looking for and just emphasize how much it's going to help you along with starting T!

this is what i did. i told my mom straight up what everything i would need was and what it does. so binders and packers, i told her straight up. i'm older though so that could play into a factor on why i was straight up and what i told her i needed it for. my mom doesn't care, she's really chill and has been there for me every step of the way during my transition. if your parents are cool and understanding, i'd just straight up tell them.

[susanlogan1203]

Yeah I have a son ftm and a daughter mtf - interesting is the word definitely!  Packers and chicken fillets are the super awkward spot for parents I think, you just have to have a sense of humour about it I guess!!

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[Laura_7]

There are gift cards that can be loaded and used for online purchases. Like credit cards.
You might look up which ones work for online payment.
You might ask for one of those and order via amazon or directly online.

This way you can order a few items up to the gifted amount.
You might tell that ... that its for a few items you woud like to have.

If they don't agree you might tell you want some FTM equipment that makes you less dysphoric ... have a prepared order ...
and show them the package later as it arrives 


*hugs*

[haeden]

It seems like they are super supportive. If they have never made any hints that they aren't ready for you to have a packer then proceeded with caution by dropping hints but if they haven't then just say it. It can't be any more awkward than when you came out, asked for a binder, and asked about t

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[Hayzer12]

I wouldn't touch an awkward conversation like that with a ten foot pole. I would ask for a nice large visa gift card instead and buy it myself.

[Moneyless]

I tried just asking for money but they refuse to do that lol. Maybe if I tell them I want to buy something 'personal' transition wise they'll understand and just let me buy it myself. I will be completely out soon + on T so they should know it's a matter of time. They are very supportive, although I can tell they're not 100% with it they just want me to be happy.

[Hayzer12]

I tried just asking for money but they refuse to do that lol. Maybe if I tell them I want to buy something 'personal' transition wise they'll understand and just let me buy it myself. I will be completely out soon + on T so they should know it's a matter of time. They are very supportive, although I can tell they're not 100% with it they just want me to be happy.

Yeah that would probably be the best thing. Just say that you'd like to do something transition-related with it. And if they ask anymore questions, you can either be honest and tell them WHAT it is, and that you'd be embarrassed having them actually see it and buy it; or just tell them that it's an awkward subject. They'd probably understand. I know that if I had told my parents it was for something transition related, they'd leave it at that and get me a gift card haha

[haeden]

That seems like a good idea. You keep them in the loop without making things awkward for yourself. You said they want you to be happy so I doubt they will ask since they know it's about your transition and that makes you happy

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