I'm still not understanding what is meant by non-binary?

[Asche]

Because my gender experience is non-binary but my preferred gender presentation is female. There are many dimensions to gender. Refer to https://www.susans.org/2016/01/31/the-many-faces-of-gender/

For me, I don't want to make people uncomfortable. I want people to enjoy dealing with me, not feel that their view of gender as a binary is challenged by my very presence.

That pretty much describes me.

[Rp1713]

But what if you have more than two sides?

Or what if you don't have sides?  (Say, you're a string.  No, I'm a frayed knot.)

The problem with trying to come up with a way to see non-binary is that no matter what model or scheme you think up, there are going to be some that don't fit.  After all, non-binary simply means you don't fit the binary model, it doesn't say anything about what model you do fit.

But you know what?

You don't have to understand.

Let me repeat that.

You don't have to understand.

Just as cis people don't have to understand what it's like to be trans, they just need to be willing to respect us, and listen to us when we say how they can respect us -- e.g., names, pronouns, etc.

In the same way, binary people don't have to understand what it's like to be non-binary, especially since there's no one way to be non-binary, anyway; every non-binary person is non-binary in their own way.  They just need to see each non-binary person as an individual and accept that what one person says about themself may not apply to the next non-binary person they meet.  They need to respect each individual's way of describing themself, and not insist on pinning their own labels and characterizations and assumptions on the NB.

I couldn't agree with you more. This is kind of how I feel about myself, or atleast how Ive been trying to look at things. But I guess even just looking at it as different scales for example female male and other (or something to that affect perhaps agender would work better) it helps me better understand things better in comparison to the old model of female on one end male on the other with a spectrum in between. At the end of the day however, I completely agree that the whole idea behind non-binary is not really fitting into to any scale or box, and that you don't have to understand. I wasn't trying to box in or offend anyone, I just think when someone truly doesn't understand but wants try, the aforementioned way of thinking at least helps shed some light. Really all there is to it is being and accepting yourself when you think about it though!


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[blossom]

Wow, I wasn't expecting 21 replies. I guess I'm now well educated on non-binary!