Dysphoria

[Midnightstar]

I have been having some completely new dysphoria my hips and thighs and things will bother me a lot
even typing about this right now makes me want to curl into a ball and be left alone.
I don't know i just really hate it right now and i'm wondering if HRT will get rid of any of that or if it's something we tend to deal with forever?

[Alexthecat]

HRT can move the fat around but the bones stay how they are.

[Moneyless]

I have really bad hip and thigh dysphoria too which I never had until I got my haircut and started coming out. I didn't realise until watching a bunch of videos of FtMs talking about their hips and thighs that (typically) boys don't really have legs like that. Testosterone does fix it a lot because your fat redistribution shifts to where a male would store his fat, which is not in the thigh/hip area which you currently are. Also, your shoulders get broader too so your hips won't seem as wide.

[Laura_7]

Hrt can change a lot.

Remember it also has psychological effects.

Its possible you feel more like yourself.

Its also a matter of stress factors in your life.
Try to take some stress out of it, and to consciously relax ...
and to value small things and small moments ...
a cup of tea ... etc ...

And you could try to concentrate on the things you like ....


*hugs*

[Midnightstar]

HRT can move the fat around but the bones stay how they are.

I get that bones can't and i already know that half but i guess i should have made it more clear like can the fat moving help at all and how much? like this that entire area pretty much doomed?

[Midnightstar]

Hrt can change a lot.

Remember it also has psychological effects.

Its possible you feel more like yourself.

Its also a matter of stress factors in your life.
Try to take some stress out of it, and to consciously relax ...
and to value small things and small moments ...
a cup of tea ... etc ...

And you could try to concentrate on the things you like ....


*hugs*

you know what....i'm getting tea good idea it calms me down and i didn't even think about that. Idk, if it would really work but maybe.

[Laura_7]

 
I get that bones can't and i already know that half but i guess i should have made it more clear like can the fat moving help at all and how much? like this that entire area pretty much doomed?

Wait and see

There is more to it than just bones. Its also cartiladge in between, the possibility to build up muscles, etc.
It can change a lot.

And try to mentally change it too.
Forget some comments or dysphoric thoughts. Think its beautiful and simply part of a package that is a man.
Other men have zones too that are not all typically male.
Just try to see it relaxed.


The tea helps. Its a centuries old recipe.


*hugs*

[Midnightstar]

Wait and see

There is more to it than just bones. Its also cartiladge in between, the possibility to build up muscles, etc.
It can change a lot.

And try to mentally change it too.
Forget some comments or dysphoric thoughts. Think its beautiful and simply part of a package that is a man.
Other men have zones too that are not all typically male.
Just try to see it relaxed.


The tea helps. Its a centuries old recipe.


*hugs*

Yea, tea didn't help much but the idea of thinking about the imperfections on others bodies who are male does help. There are so many simple things i often miss.

[Hunchdebunch]

I'm not a guy but I'm an AFAB non binary person who feels dysphoric about their 'feminine' (I use that term loosely) body. One thing I've tried recently that helped a little is to look at people around you.

This might sound like the opposite of what you want to do, but what you're looking for is the ways that people around you 'don't fit' the way we think a man (in your case), or a woman 'should' look. I mean, this is mostly assuming that the people you see are cis, which in most cases is problematic, but I think for this purpose it's relatively harmless as you're just looking to see aspects of yourself among other people. For example, I've noticed guys with bigger chests, either as big or bigger than my own. I've seen guys who also have bigger thighs, or have curves. Guys with more feminine faces than I have. Guys who are as short as or shorter than I am.

I don't know if I explained this very well, or if it'll help at all. But what I'm really trying to say is, even cis people come in all sorts of shapes and sizes, and I think that we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to fit the 'ideal' image of our genders, and that can be unfair on our selves and cause a great deal of distress that may be unnecessary.

[Laura_7]

Yea, tea didn't help much but the idea of thinking about the imperfections on others bodies who are male does help. There are so many simple things i often miss.

Tea can help by getting into a space where its possible to calm down and be more relaxed. It can reduce anxiety and stress level.

Well often people are influenced by what they read.
Looking for the opposite might be a good idea.
Trying to stay calm ... and finding a few things to be happy with.


*hugs*

[FtMitch]

I agree that when talking as FTMs we often focus too much on the "ideal" male shape of inverted triangle at a height of at least 5'10"--something very few men actually are.  Sure, that defines the bulked up cast of Teen Wolf fairly well, but that is not an accurate picture of men anymore than Beyoncé and Taylor Swift are accurate representations of women's shape.  I also am "pear shaped", bigger on bottom than top.  Being on T for 5 months I have lost quite a bit of junk in my trunk (though it is still larger than an ideal man), and my hips will always be wide.  But with my widened shoulders it honestly no longer looks like I have big hips.  I don't look like in inverted triangle, but I do look like a straight line.  I have started watching normal men more now that I came out (before I mostly only paid attention to men who met certain very high levels of beauty standards!), and I have noticed that at 5'8" I am as tall as probably 35-40% of men and maybe no more than an inch shorter than 50-60% of men.  Very few men are much taller than I am.  I also have a body type similar to most skinny men, with the width of my now widened shoulders (thanks, T!) about the same as the width of my hips, making me look like a thin, straight line as long as I wear a shirt that hides the pronounced dip at my waist.  No, I don't look like Sam from Supernatural or Neal Caffrey from White Collar or that character who was too much of a dumb not-a-blonde t bother remembering the name of from that movie about male strippers... But neither do 99% of men.  These things don't detract from your ability to pass, just your ability to be a Calvin Klein underwear model!  Hold onto that and try to stop thinking of hips and thighs as womanly attributes.  Many, MANY men have them, far mor men than have something like gynomaesecia (I so cannot spell the problem that gives you man boobs, but you know what I mean!). You don't have to embrace them, but once you are on T for a year or two not only will some of that fat likely shift, even if it doesn't this will not be something that makes people question you.

[Deborah]

The ideal inverted triangle is pretty rare these days.  More common is the no muscle tone stick and most common is the watermelon sized gut. 


Sapere Aude

[FTMax]

What Alex said is true. Fat redistribution also tends to be a longer term effect of T, so it isn't something that would typically happen in the first few months. From most people's accounts that I've read and personal experience, it took around a year to see any kind of difference.

I've lost 4" off my hips so far and somewhere between 2-4" off my thighs. They look a lot more muscular now. My butt is smaller. I fit in pants better. I used to be really uncomfortable with that whole region and would wear compression shorts to make everything smaller and smooth out curves, but I'm totally happy now. I want to lose a bit more weight in general, but I won't complain if my body composition stays the way it is now.