What is one of the most devastating dream you've ever had?

[PeterSteele]

My most devastating dream was that one morning I woke up out of bed and stood up and saw things so..differently. I saw things at a higher view. I ran to the bathroom and had to bend down a little to see the tall wide bathroom mirror I have. I looked and saw I was finally a tall masculine man. I remembered how in my dream I smiled to happily and ran my  fingers through my hair. Then.....I woke up.. That dream runs through my mind all the time.
Whats one of the most devastating dream you've ever had?

[arice]

I assume you mean regarding gender identity... I suffer from regular nightmares so have many varied devastating dreams...
In my gendered one, I wake up as 16 year old me but with a fully functional masculine body (I am currently in my mid 30s). I am delighted and the rest of the dream deals with navigating the world of a gay cismale teenager in the 1990s whike still remembering the experiences I had in my feminine body. I've had that dream fairly regularly in my life.

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[Elis]

I had a dream recently were I had chest surgery :/.

[Ms Grace]

I've had gender based dreams but none of them have been devastating. Most of my dreams are too weird and abstract for words so I never pay them much attention. Some of them bother me for a few days afterwards though.

The only dream I've ever woken up crying to was about my dear old pet cat who had died many years earlier. In the dream he was still alive and I was so happy and sad at the same time, woke up crying.

[Yukari-sensei]

       The most emotionally draining dream I had was of being in Epcot Center in Walt Disney World with my wife and child. I'm fully transitioned, I'm happy seeing me, and I'm holding my daughter while my wife takes our picture. I point to my wife and tell my daughter "go run to mommy!" and she runs over to my wife. I smile, stand up (I was crouched to be at her level for the picture), and start walking over to my wife and child.
       My joy is immediately shattered. Out of nowhere, my male self immediately crowds me and yells at me, "What the **** are you doing here?! Nobody wants you! Get the hell out of here!" He then walks up to my wife and child and the three of them walk into the park as I'm left speechless and in tears.

I woke up crying when I had this dream and it still scares me to remember it now. To make matters weird, my wife and I have no children! Despite that fact, the loss of them felt palpable.

[cheryl reeves]

For yrs I dreamt about an event that would later be called 9/11, when I told people my dream they told me nothing like that could happen in America and told me I was crazy for even dreaming that for it would never happen..Guess what it did and the aftermath happened just like in the dream. I dreamt about a city killer hurricane a few times, when I saw Katrina setting out in the gulf told my family that new orleans was going too be hit hard and the gulf coast would be hit hard after it hit I was asked how did I know the army corp of engineer's was going to blow the levies, told them everything happened just like I dreamt it.

[Rachel]

I sometimes dream of things that happened when I was young.

[Valwen]

Not a singular dream but lately I have been misgendered and dead named more in my dreams than in the waking world. Probably due to the apprehension I have regarding it, every time someone opens there mouth I half expect them to get it wrong, I shouldn't over all people have been good about it but still my subconscious freaks out.

Though not a dream I did have a awful moment recently when we got delivery food and my dinner had my previous name on it, but as far as I can tell the name was the delivery drivers to keep the orders clear at the restaurant. Still I needed a solid 10 seconds to avoid freaking out.

Serena

[ryokohimura]

I don't remember much about it, but one part involved a creature with a feminine voice yelling "You're humiliating me!" I think I came to terms with who I am not long after that.

But the last one was my ex blaming me for everything wrong in our relationship, but this one.....it struck me.

[Katiepie]

I would say the dream that I had on June 6, 2009, I will never forget this dream. In which I was thus proclaimed to be Kate.
This actually didn't dawn on me at that instance of when I truly found out my transgender status. But since then life has never been the same.

Kate <3

[LizK]

I have suffered reoccurring nightmares for years although of late they have been much better. The worst left me crying and shaking for nearly 5 hours, it then took me a couple of days to really start feeling Ok. My dreams are usually of violence perpetrated on me in some extreme way and usually in the guise of something medical , there is always an element of being restricted in some way, or being denied in some way. The other dream is the same except the violence is being perpetrated by an unknown third person or persons upon my immediate family in retribution usually for "something".

In all of these dreams I am never male but normally female....I have just started using the sleep function of the Samsung S-health app which has a feature where the phone will send you a message if it detects you Lucid Dreaming. Last night it woke me twice from the beginnings of nightmares....I don't think it is supposed to necessarily wake you but it begins chiming "You are dreaming" "you are dreaming" ....it also shows me when I was awake and asleep during the night....its free on Samsung Phones   

Liz K                                   

[Cindy]

Interesting post Elizabeth,

I suffered many years of recurrent nightmares due to my abuse. But during therapy I was helped to deal with them. I now wake up just as the nightmare starts. I'm refreshed, happy and not distressed. I get out of bed usually check on the Forum and then go back to sleep for a few more hours.

Now you know why I'm in the Forum in the middle of the night. I swapped my nightmares to share everyone else's!!!

[roseyfox]

I never really dreamed in a unconsciousness state of being the other gender till i started taking hormones. Most were unpleasant only because i remember being embarrassed and nervous mostly about the breast. I believe this was because my dad who is unaccepting was there. From what i recollect in the dream i was fully passing and was in my old high school were my dad lives around before i moved out.

[stephaniec]

My problem started a little over two years ago. I have recurring nightmares of going blind. I wish the hell I knew how to stop them because they are incredibly painful and frightening. They started right before I started HRT and right at the time I was on antidepressants and antipsychotics. I refuse to take antidepressants or antipsychotics because it seems that's what triggered it , but they won't stop. I know why because I tried to harm myself by blinding myself , but I wish to God I knew how to stop them.