Not sure I'd ever pass

[Janine]

I'm not muscular, so there's a plus. And I have very little body hair. My problem is my beard and moustache grow like weeds, and my hair just won't get long. I guess my face structure looks femme enough.  I'm almost six feet. I could find other issues I'm sure but I'm afraid to look. And my voice is nowhere near anything pleasant sounding. Seriously I don't let people record me speaking because of this. If someone has a camera on, I shut up instantly. Advice?

[Ms Grace]

I don't know if you are talking about passing from a transition point of view, but if so most trans women have their beard removed via laser and/or electrolysis, HRT will very likely help your hair grow longer over the course of a few years (testosterone is largely responsible for shorter length), there's not much that can be done about voice short of learning how to alter it naturally or perhaps surgery, and so and so forth. Passing is also not just about looks but how you present yourself and a degree of confidence. But that all comes with time and practice. Check out the MTF before and after thread if you need some inspiration.

[Janine]

I did shave and thought it improved things tenfold. As for the hair, I could grow it out, but I kinda like the short hair. It's all about being happy with yourself, right? For now, I'm content.

[Dena]

Yes, if you make the effort, you can pass. Your face isn't overly masculine and with proper makeup and hair, I think you will be ID as feminine. Shorter haircuts would look good on you though they would be a bit longer that what you currently have. Two places to look are http://pixiehaircuts.net/ and http://www.hairfinder.com/ . As for hight , I am 6'2" and have broad shoulder but an other wise slim build. If somebody reads me, it's not because of my body.

As for voice, well, I had a bass voice which is the lowest male voice. Speech therapy pushed it to mid rage male which I used for over 30 years because it was all I had. Last summer I had voice surgery and am now in the feminine range wit a trained voice.

[cindianna_jones]

I couldn't pass very well until I had my beard removed. I could get by okay at night but it was pretty much a disaster during the daylight hours.

As far as looking odd goes, there are many cis women who do not "pass." A large number of them, for what it is worth. I sometimes wonder if we don't fetishize the female form too much.

Look, if you go for the gold, feel fortunate to make the team. Did I just make an Olympic sports analogy? Oh yes I did! A first for me. What counts is confidence. You don't see frumpy looking women lacking in confidence do you? Well, I suppose you can if you look, but no one else thinks anything about their gender.

Just be. Be happy. Get your facial hair taken care of. Go out and have some fun. Enjoy your life.

Cindi

[Emileeeee]

The voice takes time, but it can be done. My voice was pretty deep. I created a pandora station that was only female vocalists with deeper voices and sang along for about a year. Eventually my normal voice was too hard to get to and the new one was the new normal. Lots of people in my life have never even heard the original. With the help of this forum and a bunch of Internet sites, I managed to tweak the sound to make it more feminine, but I'm still not in the female range. When I try to hit that minimum pitch, it sounds fake, so I don't bother. I've never had anybody give me a hard time over my voice.

I think you'll be fine with the rest too. There are a lot of inspiring transition timelines on youtube. You should check them out. Most are milder transitions where they almost passed before starting, but there are a few that started as grizzly guys and made amazing transformations.

[Obfuskatie]

I think part of the issue is you're focusing on an arbitrary ending to a transition that takes a great deal of time. Passing doesn't necessarily make you happy, there are all sorts of issues you have to deal with beyond blending in with cis people. I think the most important being, accepting yourself. Being trans is hard, but there's nothing wrong with it, and if you're open about it, the jerks who have the problem will not stick around.


     Hugs,
- Katie
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[stephaniec]

my only suggestion is ask yourself why you need to transition. Wen I use to question myself I would just sit back and sort out why and I always came back to I have to.