I'm lost

[Bubblegum-Girl]

Hi again.

I think i posted here a few months ago about how i was getting abused by my parent's. Fortunately the issue was solved, but now i have a much worse problem.

My mom found transexual research in my history and she totally lost it. She said there was a demon inside me and called me a ton of mean names. I'm not allowed to touch a phone or computer ever again( i'm using a back up computer right now, but if they find out i'm toast) Then she told me i was going to have my long hair cut off regardless of whether i leave or not.
I don't know what to do. i can't even kill myself.

[suzifrommd]

Hi again.

I think i posted here a few months ago about how i was getting abused by my parent's. Fortunately the issue was solved, but now i have a much worse problem.

No, it wasn't solved. What you describe going on now is abuse. Calling you mean names is abusive and cutting you off from the world is manipulative and controlling.

Please find an ally who can help you. Someone at school? A relative or family friend? A local LGBT support organization like PFLAG?

What your mother is doing to you is cruel.

Please hang in there. You're going to need to find strength inside you because the very person who should be helping you the most is the person who is causing your problems. That is one of the most painful and hardest situations anyone can face. You will need to stay strong and to realize that you deserve an incredible amount of credit for hanging tough in the face of that cruelty.

Hugs. Please keep posting when you can. We hear you.

[Vanessa_Glidewell]

I don't think the school or family is a good idea, or may not be effective. I wouldn't tell my school about my parents, and my family wouldn't be any different than them. I've had a similar situation with my dad. The only resource there really is is friends and their support. I wouldn't have made it as far as I am without their support, but know it's worth it in the long run, it does get better

[Bubblegum-Girl]

Please find an ally who can help you. Someone at school? A relative or family friend? A local LGBT support organization like PFLAG?

I don't have any friends or people to talk to at school (I'm home schooled)...

Now it's not just my mom, but my whole family is doing everything they can to stop me. My dad beat me really bad and choked me-- then he cut my hair off. Now i'm afraid to go outside because my hair meant everything to me. I don't know how long it will take to grow back, but that really hurt me. I can't even close my eyes without remembering the violent things he did to me.

Mom found out that i was using a backup computer,went through my room, and collected stuff that she thinks i was using to "poison my mind" she even wants all the romance novels in the house burned so they won't make me think like a girl then she went around the house and showed everybody a pair of jeans that i had cut short and said that it was the most disgusting thing that she had ever seen( i think she has lost it) They hurt my feelings very bad, i really don't know where to go now. I have pretty much lost everything. At least i had long hair before, but now that's gone too. Once this laptop runs out of battery i wont be able to use the internet again.
I really don't want to commit suicide... but i think about it way too much now.

[Dena]

In the United state choking would clearly meet the definition of child abuse. Depending on how you were beaten that could also be child abuse. If you can contact the local law enforcement, they might be able to remove you from the house and put you in a safer place. Your parents are a danger to you and you need to consider if you want to continue to risk staying in that house. Getting out of the house might not help your transition but you are risking lasting damage by remaining there.

[VivianB]

You could try going to a neighbors house and try to get help. What your parents are doing is wrong. I hope you find someone who can help you.

[arice]

I would suggest getting out of the house and finding the nearest adult to help you call the police. Choking and beating would both count as assault in my country and I hope it's the same where you are. Their other behavior is abusive but might not get the police there as quickly. The parent in me wishes there was a way to help you.
I hope you find a way to get out and stay safe. Good luck!

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