Venting/fear

[Midnightstar]

I feel super strange today i broke up with my boyfriend and now he is hurting and i hate hurting people. I feel overwhelmed and scared about my transition this site looks like it's on a rapid down hill slope that nobody is seeing.  And i have no other support groups, i feel constantly tired and iv'e only been having smoothies and small amounts of food because unknown to all of my friends i'm back to not eating properly because of being worried.
I dislike myself for always being the person to mess things up and never having the guts to speak my mind like i believe everyone should. And im super scared i cant make my own choice and take HRT because i may mess my life up if i am wrong and thats been going on forever.
everyone is so much more brave and yes i'm stressed to the limit. its like pleading for help but help never comes and you're stuck alone inside the dark.

[Laura_7]

*hugs*

Give yourself a break.

Its not your fault.

Imagine you being a child. Then someone comes along and tells you you're a girl and not what you feel inside.
How do you think children react ? Many transgender people have this, adapting and kind of reading others expectations.
Try to relax.
Try to listen to the voice within.
You will feel over time more and more what is YOU ...
and listen to a feeling of joy ... what really gives you joy and makes your heart sing.
Doubts are normal ... just listen to what your heart says.

Try to eat normal .. maybe a few soups if your stomach is upset (look for good soups and avoid artificial flavour enhancers) ... selfmade soups with some pasta maybe ... and some whole grain bread ... or some fried eggs, some bread and some salad...

Talk to yor counselor ...

and try to find a few moments every day where you can feel yourself ... just sitting and listening to within ... what you'd like ... what to do next ...
over time you will more and more come to find out what you want ...


*hugs*

[Karlee]

I agree with Laura!

You are very brave for facing this. While it may not look like it through your own eyes, you're doing well!

It isn't an overnight thing (as I have noticed with myself). It takes time, but time is on your side. You will get through this and find happiness.

Your self-confidence will grow as you continue along. You're living your life, and nobody else gets to dictate what is right and wrong, and what you can and can't do. Be true to yourself!

I cope with each day by going for a walk to clear my head and writing a journal of my thoughts and feelings. Have you tried something like that? Getting the thoughts and feelings out and on paper may be a good way for you to express yourself without having to worry about other people. You'll start to see patterns; what makes you really happy (keep doing more of), what makes you sad (things to stay away from) and where you're headed, among many other bits of information.

I hope you start to feel better soon!

Keep your head high and the smile on your face. You're going to do great.

Love,

Karlee.x

[Tristyn]

^^^^Good advice here from Karlee and Laura. You'll get worse before you get better if you don't try to eat something. Start off on a liquid diet like what Laura mentioned and work your way up slowly to a solid diet. Journals are great for keeping in touch with the You on the inside and your feelings. Go ahead and give it a shot! It helps me out. You can write anything you want in a journal. Don't hold back. There are no rules!

-Sparky

[Midnightstar]

I agree with Laura!

You are very brave for facing this. While it may not look like it through your own eyes, you're doing well!

It isn't an overnight thing (as I have noticed with myself). It takes time, but time is on your side. You will get through this and find happiness.

Your self-confidence will grow as you continue along. You're living your life, and nobody else gets to dictate what is right and wrong, and what you can and can't do. Be true to yourself!

I cope with each day by going for a walk to clear my head and writing a journal of my thoughts and feelings. Have you tried something like that? Getting the thoughts and feelings out and on paper may be a good way for you to express yourself without having to worry about other people. You'll start to see patterns; what makes you really happy (keep doing more of), what makes you sad (things to stay away from) and where you're headed, among many other bits of information.

I hope you start to feel better soon!

Keep your head high and the smile on your face. You're going to do great.

Love,

Karlee.x

Sorry i am late at the reply, i have been wanting to write
sometimes i even write here because i like to see what people think of my poems and things.
I don't write much anymore but iv'e gotten my program so i'll probably be writing more now that my spelling wont be horrible.