Stepping out from the shadows

[_Tara_]

I'm not quite sure where to start so I'll just put it out there the best I can.

My name is Tara. I'm 40 years old emerging trans* woman from the NYC suburbs. This site was recommended to me by a couple of trans friends as a place to start to meet friends and get good advice.

I recently began the process of coming out. I had dressed as a teen and in college but then I swept it all under the rug. A couple months ago after confiding in a friend that I'm some type of gender variant, she helped me dress and do makeup for the first time in almost 20 years. Something immediately struck me and I felt like I needed to pursue this part of my life. I'm still trying to figure out my identity; am I transgender, non-binary, or genderqueer? I'm just not sure really.

The past two months has been a wild ride of emotions. I have been struggling with anxiety and depression for well over a year and this has really exacerbated it. The dysphoria came on suddenly and very strong. Some days it's a struggle just to function. My genitalia, lack of breasts, and male body characteristics have been overwhelming me.

Two weeks ago I came out to my wife. She has been generally accepting and supportive of me. Last week I told my therapist I'm interested in pursuing HRT and the possibility of transition. Honestly, I'm really nervous and afraid of making mistakes. But all of this feels so urgent.

I guess I'm here to meet friends and find support of others who have been through this or are in the same situation.

Nice to meet you all. 

[Dee Marshall]

Hello, Tara,

Welcome to Susan's! I'm sure you'll soon find your new normal. You are so lucky that your wife is accepting. For many of us that takes quite a while. For some it never happens. You'll soon find that feeling of normality if you're accepting of your condition. One hint: you are just as much a woman as any who's been told she is her entire life. Embrace that and people will treat you better.

[V M]

Hi Tara 

Welcome to Susan's    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Here's a few quick links to help you along

Please be sure to review

Things that you should read

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By	Standard Terms & Definitions	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
Reputation rules	News posting & quoting guidelines	Photo, avatars, & signature images policy

Hugs

V M

[DogSpirit]

One hint: you are just as much a woman as any who's been told she is her entire life. Embrace that and people will treat you better.

Wow: What words of wisdom. Trut'

Welcome, Tara!

How wonderful that your wife is generally accepting. That's worth its weight in gold.

I can understand your feeling of urgency. Sort of like a leaky dam that finally bursts. Enjoy this site. You've found a good one.

-- Sue

[Josefa]

Tara,

Wow! I can't imagine the courage it took to come out to your wife.

Thank you so much for sharing a piece of your life with us.

Hugz

Josefa

[gennee]

Hi Tara and welcome to Susan's. Having an accepting wife is big plus. this is a great site with great people and resources. Ask any questions that you may have.

[Life-as-Grace]

Hi Tara,

That's so great to hear your wife is being supportive! Hope to see you around in the forums.

Best of luck,
Grace

[Jenny0713]

Yes, Tara. Consider yourself one of the lucky ones. You are very fortunate to have a loving wife that supports you. When I came out to my wife about a month ago, it didn't go well and I am now living in a hotel waiting on divorce so I can get an apartment. I never thought I would have to look for an apartment at 52 after being a home owner and generally being successful in life. I wish you all the best and I hope it continues to be positive for you. Take care. Jenny

[Rebecca]

An exciting time to be you.

So many possibilities and almost fun in its own way to actually get to know your real self.

As with the others an understanding wife is a rare treasure indeed. Very lucky to have her onboard.

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