My Yeson VFS experience

[anjaq]

I think your voice sounds good - maybe a little bit restricted, which can come from the voice abuse - and you seem to have held the microphone a bit close to the mouth, but I so not think this is a bad voice , really. Not sure what you are worried about so much

[Denjin]

Oh, I just learned how to speak the 'correct' way yesterday so that recording was my first real attempt at using it.  Before that, it was some weird, nasally-resonant one from the back of my throat.  Glad it seems to be sounding ok.  I can  speak a lot louder now and people never ask me to repeat myself, finally.  Even had a phone call today and never was asked to repeat myself at all.

Our brains get in the way, since when I speak like this I don't like how it sounds.  But, if I record and listen it seems better. Weird, eh.

[Denjin]

I have real interviews in a week so am working to make my voice stronger.  Are there any good exercises?  I think I'm doing ok at making it louder provided I do the forward placement, but it takes some conscious effort to do so.

Seems like my botox might be wearing off already, too, as it's easier to speak lately.

[anjaq]

There are of course plenty of excuses. A cold, overuse of the voice, ...
I think you are doing the right thing to make the effort to speak forwardly and this is what works. I have two ways of using my voice as well - one is lower, more breathy and less powerful, the other is the opposite, and I am a bit unsure what I do to switch and which way I use when I start to talk. I tend to use the bad voice when I am feeling insecure, I think.

[Denjin]

It's  just very frustrating.  I was trying a loud voice today and the resonance is just terrible - it was fine before surgery.  Now when I am loud the pitch is a lot higher (like 225-260 average!), but it does not sound like a woman speaking loudly at all. I know we're our own worst critics, but it sounds more like a guy putting on a voice. Why would it be harder now??!? Is this something that is just going to take ages to sort out?

[bmiranda]

It's  just very frustrating.  I was trying a loud voice today and the resonance is just terrible - it was fine before surgery.  Now when I am loud the pitch is a lot higher (like 225-260 average!), but it does not sound like a woman speaking loudly at all. I know we're our own worst critics, but it sounds more like a guy putting on a voice. Why would it be harder now??!? Is this something that is just going to take ages to sort out?

Sorry to hear that sweetie! As long as I remember (I tried to find your pre-op voice via voocaroo and listen to it again but it's apparently no longer available) you had the resonance...what happened? Maybe you need some more time for botox to wear off completely...Hang in there!

[Denjin]

Well, I can do my resonance again, mostly, at a normal or quiet voice I think.  It's just failing when I try to be a lot louder.  Perhaps it is botox or something, but that wears off within the next six weeks so we shall see.

Yeah some of the old recordings are gone (which is why I put them on vocaroo, since it expires), but I do have local copies if anyone is curious.  I never made any with a loud voice, though.  The feeling when I speak is still very odd, like I get too much vibration in my throat, if that makes sense.

[anjaq]

Thats weird but maybe it makes sense. In a way, I am not "doing anything" now when I speak loud. Actually doing less works better than trying to do my old resonance stuff - which now only makes my voice sound bad and maybe even more masculine. I lust have to remind myself to relax and let my voice do its job without "doing resonance" consciously. It may not be a perfect feminine voice, but its female, that I am pretty sure of. Maybe you are actually doing too much?

[Denjin]

Thats weird but maybe it makes sense. In a way, I am not "doing anything" now when I speak loud. Actually doing less works better than trying to do my old resonance stuff - which now only makes my voice sound bad and maybe even more masculine. I lust have to remind myself to relax and let my voice do its job without "doing resonance" consciously. It may not be a perfect feminine voice, but its female, that I am pretty sure of. Maybe you are actually doing too much?

Perhaps it is just a couple decades of habit, then.  I just know my resonance is driving me mad the way it feels (the vibration feeling in my throat and head).  I swear the feeling of vibration in my throat is much much stronger than it was before surgery (obviously has to vibrate, given the cords are there) - wonder if that means I'm speaking too low or something.

Next week I'll just mention the laryngitis and hope to not have to speak overly loud.

[anjaq]

As i said - I had 18 years of habit of speaking in a feminized voice and I believe I often get it right now but all too often I still do it wrong. Thats 16 months post OP now. I guess it will have to weed itself out with time...

[bmiranda]

Well, I can do my resonance again, mostly, at a normal or quiet voice I think.  It's just failing when I try to be a lot louder.  Perhaps it is botox or something, but that wears off within the next six weeks so we shall see.

Yeah some of the old recordings are gone (which is why I put them on vocaroo, since it expires), but I do have local copies if anyone is curious.  I never made any with a loud voice, though.  The feeling when I speak is still very odd, like I get too much vibration in my throat, if that makes sense.

I agree that you still have the resonance and you definitely gained pitch. Yeah! It must be the botox IMO...

I remember that you already sounded good before the surgery but do you mind me sending a copy of your pre-op voice please?

I also have that vocal folds vibration from time to time when I speak and I echo you that it doesn't feel right...

[Denjin]

All part of the healing process I guess, Brenda.   I have PM'd you some voice clips that show how my voice maybe used to sound.  Those are not my good trained version, but lower ones, so maybe more like what my voice was like way back in the day!

[bmiranda]

All part of the healing process I guess, Brenda.   I have PM'd you some voice clips that show how my voice maybe used to sound.  Those are not my good trained version, but lower ones, so maybe more like what my voice was like way back in the day!

I just listened to your old voice clips and thank you so so much for taking the time for sending them

OMG! You did really work bloody hard to get that trained voice and I honestly admire girls like you!

Yes! Your new pitch has put a very nice coat on your trained voice

After listening to them, I felt a sudden guilt because I must admit that I did NOT really work hard enough my voice and chose voice surgery instead...very well done sweetie!

[Denjin]

Thanks   Although using that voice for many years did some damage I think...

One thing is crazy is how messed up the brain is. :p  When I speak, I still think it sounds like the old voice or maybe low.  However, I'll record it and then play it back and it's a lot higher and sounds ok to me.  Something else that will take a while to get used to!

[bmiranda]

Thanks   Although using that voice for many years did some damage I think...

You're quite welcome! I think so but try to look at the good side of it because you are now using that trained voice + the pitch increase from surgery without effort...

One thing is crazy is how messed up the brain is. :p  When I speak, I still think it sounds like the old voice or maybe low.  However, I'll record it and then play it back and it's a lot higher and sounds ok to me.  Something else that will take a while to get used to!

That's exactly I was telling to Carmen (she had the voice surgery too) that our brain is a bit lost and messed up after the surgery!

No matter what, there will always be unfortunately a subtle sound of our old trained voice even after surgery...this surgery just won't let you go from "Cher" to "Madonna"...

[anjaq]

After listening to them, I felt a sudden guilt because I must admit that I did NOT really work hard enough my voice and chose voice surgery instead...very well done sweetie!

In some ways it may be better. Some of the things learned to make a good trained voice have to be unlearned again after surgery and for some, using the trained voice for years does some damage - I think in most cases it definitely changes the voice away from a normal function

[bmiranda]

In some ways it may be better. Some of the things learned to make a good trained voice have to be unlearned again after surgery and for some, using the trained voice for years does some damage - I think in most cases it definitely changes the voice away from a normal function

Really? I always got jealous of girls who have a good trained voice but I think I was just too lazy because I am passing anyway (w/o bragging) on a daily life even with that low old voice anyway...

[anjaq]

I don't know what would be if one has a professionally trained voice, maybe that works. For me it was like that - I did some things to make my voice pass as long as I was present (it failed 50% on the phone) that worked ok, but those things in the long run, after 15 years, did some damage to my voice and I have bad voice habits that put too much force or tension on my voice and vocal muscles, that cause vocal fry or breathy voice - and after surgery it was and still is a struggle to get rid of these old habits. Of course some are ok - pronounciation, voice melody, some parts of resonance,... its a bit selective. I guess ideally one would train the voice only using those parts that are still good after a surgery

[bmiranda]

I don't know what would be if one has a professionally trained voice, maybe that works. For me it was like that - I did some things to make my voice pass as long as I was present (it failed 50% on the phone) that worked ok, but those things in the long run, after 15 years, did some damage to my voice and I have bad voice habits that put too much force or tension on my voice and vocal muscles, that cause vocal fry or breathy voice - and after surgery it was and still is a struggle to get rid of these old habits. Of course some are ok - pronounciation, voice melody, some parts of resonance,... its a bit selective. I guess ideally one would train the voice only using those parts that are still good after a surgery

I personally think that it will work for a professionally trained voice...I heard your post op voice and you sound really good to me. You and Denjin both worked really hard on your voices before which I would have probably done and this surgery just gave you a higher pitch and put a nice coat on it...

[DanielleBasel]

The following links were very helpful:
Great Site to see how to get from A to B using the subway - http://seoul.exploremetro.com/en/#
Has lots of info about visiting Korea - http://english.visitkorea.or.kr/enu/index.kto
Got a 4G wifi device to carry around - https://roaming.kt.com/rental/eng/product/wibro.asp

Dear Denjin

Thank you very much for all these informations. I also rented one of the portable 4G WiFi routers to have no roaming costs then my wife and I are in Seoul...

Perfect money saver!

Take care
Danielle