My friend- let's call him Eden- has done other problematic things (eg not listening to trans people or POC when he's said something offensive), but the main issue right now is that he keeps saying that he wants to be a lesbian, not because he likes girls or identifies as a woman, but because it fits his aesthetic and because he "really respects lesbians". He literally says he's "other kin for lesbians". And whenever others say something to him about how it's not cool to just use an identity for his aesthetic, he says they just don't understand what he means.
Eden isn't isn't trans, although in the past he's said he kind of identifies as nonbinary and aro/ace, and he dresses very gender-neutrally (think Robert Smith with the makeup skills of Boy George). He also changed his name from a traditionally male name.
One reason why I still friends with him is that I am a total coward when it comes to confrontation. I think he might be trans and just talking like this because he's trying to figure out his identity. Also, he's only sixteen (two years younger than me) and I don't want to completely cut him off instead of giving him the chance to be educated. But he also has been resistant to criticism in the past?
I just don't know how to explain to him how he's being problematic and potentially give him an ultimatum. If anyone can put in their two cents on the issue, I'd really appreciate it!
