New here with a question

[Gendermutt]

Hi, I am new on this site, and just looking around. I see there is a separate sub forum for transgender and cross dresser. I have been to a gender therapist a few years ago when I decided to stop fighting myself. At the time, he said that I am in the transgender spectrum. That a CDer is transgender. Although I am seeing that TG seems to be  less of a blanket identity for those who have any gender variance than before. So, I am curious about whether or not on this site are there CDers who do not feel they are or will transition, basically just that they crossdress, but that they do consider themselves transgender and or are in the spectrum? I am not a label nut, I am just curious about what is considered transgender on here.

[Dena]

Transgender is anybody who is uncomfortable with their birth gender. That would include you as a cross dresser on one end and me as a transsexual on the other end. In between we have a collection of identities. The non binary is mostly people who aren't transsexual and the non binary may or may not transition depending on where they feel comfortable. A good place to understand this is our WIKI where the more common variations are discussed. Another place to look would be here. Unlike some of the other sites, we don't push a transition but rather want people to find that place in life where they are comfortable. Many people on the site will transition but a sizable part of our population will not.

[cheryl reeves]

I'm ts and I'm not going to fully transition,I like being able to play male at times. My wife knows all about me and transitioning is one boundary we both agreed to.

[Gendermutt]

Thanks. I consider myself to be dual gender, or gender fluid. And I identify as transgender.  Although as of late, transgender in some places is taking on the meaning of only a full opposite of your birth gender. I just wanted to get an idea what people here consider transgender.

[Dena]

I think that you are clearly transgender from your description. Another way to think about it is if you are not CIS, you are transgender. Now I know how you identify, There are three links related to the non binary/gender fluid that you might find interesting.

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,202966.0.html

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,201219.0.html

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,196073.0.html

[Gendermutt]

Those were 3 good links Dena, thanks. One of the reasons for my coming to this site is because of the recent "thought police" mentality I am seeing more of. A different place, maybe some other people to talk to, or just bounce my thoughts and experiences off of. I am finding it almost weird that there are many CDers I have talked to, or at least read posts of who will adamantly say "I am not transgender" when a very reputable gender therapist I went to said that transgender is more about a full spectrum, not just those transitioning. To me, crossdresser, or crossdressing willfully  is just an action done for the reasons of being transgender. I am really ok though with whatever terminology, it is always shifting anyway. Words, or terms that were ok once are now not used much, or are shunned. All part of the evolution.

[Dena]

We have a few restricted topics on the site because they are false had harmful to the community but for the most part we welcome discussion within the boundaries of the TOS. Transgender is an evolving word because when I transitioned it covered transsexual, ->-bleeped-<- and maybe one or two other items. As of joining the site, I learned of the non binary and most confusing the gender fluid. As I am binary, it took me a while to get my head around the concept but it makes the concept of cross dresser and some of the other variations much more understandable.

The other side of the issue is the difficulty people sometime have accepting the fact they are something other than CIS. There are people on the site uncomfortable with their identity but yet are unable to accept they fit in the transgender family. I don't care where people fit in the spectrum, I only want them to find a place where they are comfortable and this site allows me to do that for other people.

I am glad you enjoyed the threads because I am having a difficult time making a package for the non binary. It's not well studied and often therapist are not even aware of it's existence. Possibly given a bit more time I will accumulate a few more links but I think that's enough to get people started.

[Gendermutt]

Fluid is definitely where I feel myself to be mostly. I would think much easier overall than being TS, at least in terms of coming to terms with it, but maybe more confusing. I think it was likely a reason why I struggled so hard for so long (roughly 30 years) to rid myself of my femininity and desires to dress, mannerisms which tend to be more on the feminine side. I could always on some level relate to being a male, even though it often is frustrating for me to be one.

[Dena]

Because I first felt it at age 13, it was pretty easy for me to understand and accept. My problem was that was 1964 and John Hopkins was the only place in the country treating transsexuals and I was in Arizona. I had to keep it bottled up until 23 when the cork blew and then the nearest treatment was Los Angles.

There are a fair number of older people dealing with being transgender in some flavor on the site but I have worked with 13 and 14 year old kids so they may be much better off than I was.

I would find fluid very confusing because what would I wear each day to reduce the chance of discomfort? What if I switch in the middle of the day? Yes, the transition wasn't easy but I am pretty sure there are times it's not easy for you.

[Gendermutt]

I don't really swing 100% to either male or female. I am either 50-50, or sometimes more one than the other, but I always feel both to some degree. Malls can either be real fun, or a big annoyance. I have loved looking at both isles of clothing, identifying as both, but there have been times I have felt anxiety too. Being biological male, the average day, living and working as male, but always seeing and feeling to a degree female. I do not identify as female, I feel for me it is more of a parallel, if that makes any sense. Like one in a lot of ways, but not truly one. I would think for someone biologically different than internal identity 100%, that must be just an awful torture. I think of how I get frustrated often, but that is sort of where it ends with me, when I am at work, or in other social settings. I can't imagine how hard it must be for those who identify opposite their body. My heart goes out to those who have been there or are there.

[Kerry30Den]

Learning that I fell under the transgender umbrella as a cross dresser was a bit of a shock to me.  I felt like being a CD was out on the fringe of the spectrum. Dena helped me understand a bit more via a post; I do like the inclusion of us all together though. Balance is a great way to describe my dressing needs and may fit for you too. When I'm working outside the home office is guy mode with pantyhose underneath. When I'm working from home I'm in a dress or skirt. I go to the gym in guy clothes though. Some days I pair a skirt and flats with a geek guy tshirt; it blends that male and female expression nicely. Other days I love wearing a dress and heels.  I know that if I get too much guy expression I feel off, likewise if I get too much girl expression I feel off. I have no desire to transition, I know it's not right for me. It took me years to sort all of this out; I'm comfortable being a male, but I need to express all of me to feel complete as a human.

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[Gendermutt]

I am fine being under the umbrella. I had a very qualified gender therapist explain this to be a few years ago, but that was before all of the media hype that is present from Caitlyn Jenner, bathroom bills and whatnot. I am new here, but not altogether new to crossdressing. Transgender for some now seems to be a bigger divide to crossdressing. And I have seen several CDers who will proclaim they are NOT trans. I was mainly getting a feel for how this site considers transgender.