Parents...

[lil_red]

So this rant is about my dad. I barely know my dad we live on opposite sides of the US. I never even met him for the first time until I was 19.  I haven't seen him in 9 years and we only talk on the phone probably a couple times a year.  We're both Gamers.

So anyway I woke up this morning and had a Facebook Messenger text from him saying that he was finally playing a game that I had tried to get him to play a few years back. He wanted to know if I still play.  Obviously this made me very happy and I was waiting for a decent hour (it was 1 am his time when I saw the message) to text him back and get his character and server information.

So a little while later I opened my Facebook and the first thing I saw in my newsfeed was an ignorant post he made about NC's HB2 and I was immediately crushed. I don't even know why I'm so upset because I was already pretty sure that's how he felt based on how he reacted to last year's Supreme Court ruling on marriage equality.

I really hope he's open to education because I can't ignore the things he said in his post. Hopefully when I try to Enlighten him it won't end the little bit of relationship we already have.   Just wanted to get that off my chest. Thanks for listening.



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[Tristyn]

Not trying to minimize your problems, but at least your dad is open to discussion on such matters. My dad is so passive-aggressive that he does not even acknowledge that I am trans even after I came out to him. You have a much better chance educating him than I do with mine. I hope he will at least listen to my therapist....

[lil_red]

Not trying to minimize your problems, but at least your dad is open to discussion on such matters. My dad is so passive-aggressive that he does not even acknowledge that I am trans even after I came out to him. You have a much better chance educating him than I do with mine. I hope he will at least listen to my therapist....

I'm sorry your dad is like that. I know my problems are very small compared to some.  In fact after reading my dad's FB post I'm glad he wasn't a part of my upbringing. I dont want to imagine what it would be like to be raised by someone  so closed minded. I don't know if he will be open to discussion about it, and he does not know I'm trans.

I really hope your dad comes around.

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[Laura_7]

This :

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,209112.msg1853791.html#msg1853791

and this :

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,208438.msg1847638.html#msg1847638


might help.


Someone said people may be more accepting if they can talk on a deeper level.
So if its desired and seems possible this might be something to be worked on in advance.


hugs

[Cloudxboy]

That really sucks :/. I'd suggest maybe playing some games with him & talking a bit before bringing up his post. If he gets aggressive about it, you could try sending him a couple of those links and just saying it's something for him to think about.

Some people are too afraid/angry about things they don't understand to listen to reason, but even if it goes badly, I don't think you should give up on a relationship with your dad. Some people take days or years to come around, but if you shoot him another message after things have cooled off, he'll probably realize that this argument isn't worth losing his son over.

Best wishes, lil_red! And remember: Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

[lil_red]

That really sucks :/. I'd suggest maybe playing some games with him & talking a bit before bringing up his post. If he gets aggressive about it, you could try sending him a couple of those links and just saying it's something for him to think about.

Some people are too afraid/angry about things they don't understand to listen to reason, but even if it goes badly, I don't think you should give up on a relationship with your dad. Some people take days or years to come around, but if you shoot him another message after things have cooled off, he'll probably realize that this argument isn't worth losing his son over.

Best wishes, lil_red! And remember: Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

Thanks. I was already thinking of doing something like this. We'll  see how it goes. 

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[Tristyn]

I'm sorry your dad is like that. I know my problems are very small compared to some.  In fact after reading my dad's FB post I'm glad he wasn't a part of my upbringing. I dont want to imagine what it would be like to be raised by someone  so closed minded. I don't know if he will be open to discussion about it, and he does not know I'm trans.

I really hope your dad comes around.

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I apologize sincerely about my previous post. It did not come out the way I intended. I was in a bit of a rush to go to a doctor's appointment this morning.

Anyways, my intention was to try and allow you to see the brighter side of your situation. No one's problems are more serious than others. I never said my problems were more serious than anyone's either. I was simply stating that it's good that your dad at least mentions lgbt topics and that seems to give you a greater opportunity to break the ice on such matters than I would have as well as others whose parents do not discuss such topics at all or are forbidden. Am I saying that automatically makes my problems more serious than yours?

No. I am only saying that it's a good thing that your dad brought this up so maybe you can share your thoughts on it too, even if his statements were derogatory, he at least mentioned something lgbt-related. I did not know my father all of my life either but I've lived with him for much of my childhood and then lived with my mom as a teenager up until young adulthood. Anyways, your struggles do matter and they are important and are significant and I am truly sorry that I made it seem like otherwise.

[lil_red]

I apologize sincerely about my previous post. It did not come out the way I intended. I was in a bit of a rush to go to a doctor's appointment this morning.

Anyways, my intention was to try and allow you to see the brighter side of your situation. No one's problems are more serious than others. I never said my problems were more serious than anyone's either. I was simply stating that it's good that your dad at least mentions lgbt topics and that seems to give you a greater opportunity to break the ice on such matters than I would have as well as others whose parents do not discuss such topics at all or are forbidden. Am I saying that automatically makes my problems more serious than yours?

No. I am only saying that it's a good thing that your dad brought this up so maybe you can share your thoughts on it too, even if his statements were derogatory, he at least mentioned something lgbt-related. I did not know my father all of my life either but I've lived with him for much of my childhood and then lived with my mom as a teenager up until young adulthood. Anyways, your struggles do matter and they are important and are significant and I am truly sorry that I made it seem like otherwise.

No need to apologize.  I know you never said one person's problems are worse than another's.  didn't mean to imply otherwise.

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