Well, I'm finally out. Actually, I've been out for about a month, but I was unsure about what to say because I was still pretty tentative about how things were going to go.
I found some local transgender consultants (
http://transfocus.ca ) who have a huge amount of experience talking to corporate and political folk about transgender issues. We met a few times to talk about what my goals were, how I identified, what my experiences had been like so far at the company, etc. We put together a plan, and set up two meetings. The first meeting was for managers and supervisors, and the second was for everybody else. Each had about 20-30 people, which means that about half of the people at my company attended one or the other.
While I wasn't present for the meetings, I did hang out in the kitchen (in the way) as people filed out of them. I was received well, and the people who spoke to me were supportive (selection bias). I'm told that the people who actively participated in the meetings were supportive (selection bias). The structure of the meeting was a little odd; they spent an hour talking about transgender issues in general before revealing that I was the reason behind the meeting.
Since then, things haven't been 100% great, but all things considered, it's going well. I don't think I've been deadnamed a single time. OTOH, people seem to be avoiding using pronouns. I've been wearing whatever the hell I like, and after a little bit of experimentation, I've found a style that I'm comfortable with that doesn't feel too awkwardly femme -- kinda librarian-ish.
Before revealing my truth to the company, I'd made a friend. He leaned on me a bit when he was stressed out, and I cultivated a friendship even though he'd said some transphobic stuff a year ago. I knew I'd need an ally, and I saw personal growth in him. He's been a staunch supporter since day 1. I've been open and honest with him, freely discussing the kinds of things that we tell people not to ask. When I've been stressed out about how people are acting, I've talked to him first.
There have been two funny bathroom incidents; none bad. There's a locking single-occupancy washroom that I prefer to use, and the rest of the washrooms are gendered. So if "my" washroom is locked, I go into a gendered room. One day, that was the ladies', but somebody was in there talking on her phone. She walked into the (only) stall, and I turned around and used the boys'. Ten minutes later, I got an email from her apologizing for rudely cutting in front of me; she'd been hanging out in there and her friend wouldn't get off the phone and she really had to pee.
The other time, I was in my single-occupany room. I was standing at the toilet with my skirt hiked up. The door opened. Apparently, i forgot to lock the door. I didn't see who it was, but they certainly saw me. I died of embarrassment. I went to a meeting, and managed to compartmentalize my embarrassment until I got back to my desk. After trying to eat my fist a few times, I decided that I wasn't getting any work done with that on my mind, so I want over to tell my buddy about what happened. As I walked up, he was like "Why don't you lock the door?!?!" It was him! O M G. I was still absolutely mortified, but I was immensely relieved to know who it was, and that it was my friend. He said, "well, that answers another question I didn't want to ask..."
he got a high-five for that.
