Becoming female..

[jm78]

For other ladies transitioned/transitioning...opinions please. Until now, I have categorized myself as a straight male. I have always liked and been with women only sometimes while crossdressing- but Ive always felt stuck in a male body.  Do you still see yourself as "straight" after transition- and switch over to dating gents? Or do u find that u still like women? Trying to figure out where Im at  - contemplating coming out and hormones..  thnx???

[Rebecca]

No idea about other people but happy to share my own position.

Even from my youth I always declared myself a lesbian in recognition that I always had a problem with male genitalia. Straight porn kinda outright repulsed me and I could only ever watch females alone or in groups all fine but no penis or I was outta there. Couldn't explain it in the past it was just the way I felt but obviously it makes a lot more sense now. As for sex itself I had to be engaged mentally or I'd have turned myself off this got more difficult as years went on.

Growing up this simply got good natured laughs from those that were told when the topic of sex or porn came up.

Funny that I have actually been telling the truth about that one thing my entire life.

[Cindy]

Hi and welcome to Susan's

Well generally your sexual orientation doesn't change! Sometimes if you repressed feelings they come out, but in general not an issue.

Lovely to see you here and welcome.

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[suzifrommd]

I always saw myself as a straight male, to the point where the thought of being with a man seemed totally icky.

As a woman, the thought of being with a man is intriguing, though I still find women considerably more attractive.

[JoanneB]

I was young and tried to sort out my feelings of am I a CD or a lot more. A part of my "Experiments" with transitioning I tested the "How would I really feel about being with a guy?" question. In fantasy is one thing, but in real life? I had a sexual attraction towards women, not any close to that with men. The end result was guys didn't do much for me. So scratch off I am a woman because I enjoy sex with men.

Yep, silly me seeing a binary world. Jump from one I didn't want to be in into another. Just one of the few ways I set myself to fail. It was also the early to mid 1970's. It was a lot more binary world back then.

While I can still see the question coming up today, the reason for it is all but gone. Just as many other "Musts" have all but faded. It is relatively easy to live as a woman, as a lesbian, with or w/o a 3 piece set.

Then there is the process of transition. Or, as I like to say, "To Change". We all spent a good part of our life trying to force ourselves to fit into an ideal. It takes time to loose that baggage. Once HRT starts, the T levels tank and the E levels bring on euphoria, the world begins to look a lot different as you slowly learn who the person really are is.

One of the things I learned about the real me is that she was always envious of women. Certainly never sexually attracted or aroused like guys are to women. Never once have I seen a woman and thought "I'd like a little of that". More typical is She looks great in that outfit. I wish...... It's gotten pretty scary at night when in my dreams I am often with a man, romantically or other as my wife sleeps besides me.

[KathyLauren]

To me, "gay" and 'straight' aren't real categories.  I think the real categories are 'like men' and 'like women'. 

I find myself in the 'like women' category.  From my perspective right now, I can't see that changing, though it remains to be seen what effect hormones might have on that, should I get that far.  According to the conventional categories, that means that, if I transition, I would go from a straight male to a lesbian female.

[IdontEven]

The way I've been explaining my orientation to people is to use two objects, place one on the left side and one on the right. One of the objects represents guys as a group, the other is girls. Then I take something straight and place it between them and rotate the object. As I do I explain how as a guy I was oriented toward women, and as my view of myself has changed my orientation followed with it. Now my orientation follows the same basic line it did in the past, but in the opposite direction.

I hesitate to use the word straight for myself, if I had to label it I would call it bi, though I'm not sure how true that actually is. I still find women to be the prettier of the species, but I haven't thought of them sexually in quite a while now. I'd still like to play around/cuddle with some of them but that's as far as my desire seems to go. On the other hand I've begun -noticing- guys, particularly of a certain height/build, though I've started finding attractive qualities in most guys I interact with, which kind of weirds me out. But whatever, just takes some getting used to I guess.

I think my orientation has always been man + woman, but I was confused on where I existed on that spectrum which threw everything off. My orientation towards women was always enjoyable, it never seemed wrong, but now being oriented towards guys while viewing myself as female is so ridiculously right that it's crazy. My whole life is like that now, I never realized just how wrong everything was because I had nothing to compare it to.

[Jacqueline]

Welcome,

There are so many great responses. I am only a year into a conclusion that I am trans at 50ish. I guess in I way I fantasized about being a woman but knew I would be lesbian if that were the case. All very logically.
Logically I have thought about what you said, but the labels all just get confusing.

Re. I have been married for 25 years. We are trying to stay together. I am still presenting mostly male, and only just on hormones(so some minor shifts, physically-more mentally). Accepting myself as a trans woman did I magically just turn into a lesbian or have I always been. Arguably, if I am a woman and only changing my outside, yes, I always have been. Just to make it more interesting. My wife would tell you she is not a lesbian; however, in trying to stay together...


Hope you find what you are looking for.

With warmth,

Joanna

[KyleeKrow]

I still like women and consider myself a lesbian. Although I also considered myself lesbian before transitioning. Just...the whole body thing was wrong.

[KristinaM]

I used to call myself a lesbian trapped in a man's body.  Not an uncommon theme really.  Been saying that since I was about 18 though, give or take.  I started transitioning a year ago at age 33 after I realized that it was actually something that might be possible to pull off!  Over the years I fought with my sexual identity, I had had some attraction and encounters with other boys/men, but I had been taught to be ashamed of those actions and feelings, so I suppressed them as well and I played the "straight male" role I had been taught to play by my family and the conservative world around me.

When I came out though, I pretty much came ALL out, lol.  So yes, I am firmly a demi-bisexual now.  I have attraction to both (?) genders, but it rarely (never actually) motivates me enough to act on it.  I have like, zero libido.  My wife recently told me that she's not sexually attracted to me any more since I'm in this half-way in between stage; not fully male, not fully female, and that just doesn't do it for her she says.  So there's that too.

I'd venture a guess at my attractions being ~80:20 women to men probably, but with no libido and no outlets, that's just a guess until I get some experience under my belt....post-op....  I'm looking forward to being post-op and finally properly exploring my sexuality...  Keep your fingers crossed, heh.

[Emileeeee]

I'm still attracted to women and still not attracted to men, but it's now only on an emotional level. Physically I seem to be asexual, probably because HRT wiped out my sex drive. It's pretty natural for me because my partner has always been my girlfriend/wife, so it doesn't feel different at all to me. What does feel weird is how people treat our relationship differently because it doesn't feel different to me at all.

[gnb984]

As a SO this thread interests me... it give's me hope to see many of you still with your wife/partner.  My partner is starting to transition and my biggest fear is that he (she) will switch orientations.  Everybody obviously has the right to feel/do that- so no judgement/hate. I am just saying that it's nice to hear about relationships staying strong/together.I know that I will still be sexually/romantically attracted to her- so its good to have more insights into other's experiences. 

[archlord]

Like before , I am mostly attracted by woman . I was Alpha male 100% straight before transition . I however lied to myself , there was occasionally A guy That I found attractive but I was Immediatly repressing the idea . Now as A woman , i feel like I can experiment It ( I did A few time already ) I however wont be sure of anything until I am post -op ( vaginoplasty) And That I try the real thing

[Soli]

admitting to myself I'm a female, while being single for a while and since, made me realize to what extent my sexual orientation was socially constructed.

So it's complicated. Unsure still. Lots of thinking and looking back.

I always pushed back any attraction I could have had for men. Society around me from the start showed me the line: you go there, you're gay.

So as a teen, since my looks became ambiguous, never developed as what is recognized as a viril man, the gay world called very loudly (they saw me as one of them), and I rejected that.

Maybe I was always bisexual. I like some humans. Whether they have a penis or a vagina doesn't have much to do with the fact that I like them. If I like them, they can arouse me. I do like penises but only know mine... all is very mixed up, unclear... and it seems to me the social part of this is very important.

[Mallory]

I grew up totally repressed in a household with an alpha male father who did not tolerate any kind of femininity or emotional expression. It got worse as a teenager at which point I started doing the whole angst youth thing; smoking pot, having unprotected sex with boys and girls. It was at that point I knew I was bisexual. Fast forward 15 years and I now realize all of the women I had been with over the years I was only with so that I could live vicariously through them.

The more feminine I become the less I want to be with women and the more I want to be with men. So I think the term is hetero flexible; I'm still just a little allured by women, but I mostly want a male companion. It's an entirely individual choice and one you should never be ashamed of.

As for whether or not you should transition I'd pose a few questions. Are you a woman? Are you okay with having a penis? Do you cross dress for sexual reasons or because you feel more like yourself when you're expressing femininity?

[warlockmaker]

Was totally straight but did try a male once and it wasn't me. Now, I don't know how I feel but after all the surgeries it would be a shame  n not to at least try out the equipment  I know I'm totally naughty but life is about having fun .

[LizK]

My orientation has always appeared to be towards females so I guess that makes me a lesbian...but if I am to be honest I don't think I have ever had a sexual fantasy that did not have me as the female...even to the point of having to consciously think about this to have straight sex...if that makes sense. I have always fancied myself as a woman with a guy but not as a guy with a guy. Besides all that I don't have any desire for sex anymore, so it all becomes a mute point. Even though I don't care if I ever have sex again I still want surgery regardless...I have only reached that decision recently so don't even know if it's possible for me as finding all that money could be difficult. So I guess time will tell.

Liz K

[Serenahikaru]

I haven't been fortune enough to start transitioning with hormones yet, but I do present as a girl to the best of my ability. (It's a pain living with non accepting parents). I actually decided to not even label my sexuality, though I prefer guys. If I had to, I'd say maybe straight/assexual. Before though, I was a interested in girl, however I didnt have good experiences and never actually asked one out. They always asked me then the relationship was short.

[Lady_Oracle]

That's just it, we never were male to begin with so its kind of a moot point really. 6 years into my transition and like I'm just now coming to terms with my sexuality. I started dating a few years ago and I've learned I'm pansexual, although I exclusively only date women atm for various reasons. Take time with yourself, like you kind of have to get your identity situated before you can really work out the sexuality part else it'll be that much more complicated honestly. You'll find the further you go in transition, things will pop up that you might not have been aware of before.

[Wild Flower]

Becoming woman?


No. I am in a disguise right now and I am already woman.