What was your best friends reaction when you told them you were trans

[big kim]

I never told him. He was the sort of kid who everyone's parents hated, my parents told me he was giving swearing lessons & not to hang around with him, the worst thing you can tell a kid! He was a lot more fun than the stiffs my parents approved of! He was the first person I knew to be deported (at 15). We got into plenty scrapes together.
We grew apart as we got older, he married my sister's best friend and moved to the other side of the world, he had become a racist homophobe and I don't think it would have gone well. He died 2 years ago of alcohol induced liver disease, he never asked about me.

[ryokohimura]

This thread just reminded me that I haven't told some of my oldest friends. I know my mom keeps in touch with the moms of two of them and I'm not sure what they know.

My closest friends have been really supportive. Two of them pretty much are "business as usual". It's like I was always female.

Another one of my friends mentioned she's always know and is very supportive of me. This has...improved my relationship with those around me. This happen to anyone else?

[stephaniec]

I feel a lot more honest with those around me

[Jayne]

Responses I received ranged from someone snorting their beer out through their nose (timing is crucial), to "that's cool" and a few responses of "that's no real surprise"
The majority of responses were along the lines of "It's your life, so long as you're happy that's the main thing"

[allisonsteph]

I had a few different reactions from close friends:

"It's about damn time, I knew that when I met you"

"Ooooooh; I have always known that you're a tortured soul, but never knew why"


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[noleen111]

My best friend was very supportive.

But I never actually told her, she kinda caught me wearing a skirt.. she was shocked at first, but then we had a long chat where I told her that I liked to wear woman's clothing and kinda wished I was born a girl and she actually encouraged me to explore the idea of a sex change. She did a lot of research and sent me to my first therapist.

[smittydoyle]

My best friend was like, "Yeah duh! That's awesome.  let's get coffee."

lol

[zeyko]

ha, when i came out to this kid i was friends with it was like this:

Adam:*some weird creepy voice* how to be a ->-bleeped-<-got step one, have long hair
Adam: unless you're a girl though
me:... im a boy and i have long hair
Adam: .......oh god. you're a boy?

and he never mentioned anything after that.

Another time i came out to one of my friends as a boy he was just like "oh, so you're like tails from sonic?" and i was confused at first and he said "because you're a boy but you have a girl voice." and he also helped me out a bit afterwards because he found out my parents had been hurting me and stuff and let me stay at his house and gave me his brothers old clothes.

[herekitten]

Other than my childhood friend, we were amazed that we were 'like each other. We lost track of each other somewhere along the way when I moved away.

Flash forward many years later and my best friend (not the aforementioned one) and I decide to share an apartment. We worked together, double dated, did everything as roommates, shared the same friends and on occasion dated the same boyfriends (haha). BUT I never told her. I was tempted one time when she noticed that I never bitched about my period --woops! note to self.  I thought about telling her once, but it just never seemed that important to me. If I ever did, it would be purely for experimental purposes. But I ask myself 'what would that gain me'?

[Paige]

Hi All,

So before you came out to your friends, did you ever receive comments about your appearance?  One friend recently blurted out in the middle of a bunch of friends that I should grow my beard back.  He said I looked better with a beard.   Another commented that I look very different now.   I've had little comments like this off and on for a while.

Sure I've been on spiro, but I don't think my looks have changed that much.  It surprises me how bold some people are.  This sort of thing scares me and I worry about coming out to my friends.

Take care,
Paige

[RobynD]

My best friend literally said " duh, no kidding " when i told her 

[Newfie]

Hmm... one friend told me, "Don't take this the wrong way, but I really don't give a ->-bleeped-<-. Like, you do you." I think he meant it in a supportive way, but...

My brother and his girlfriend just wanted to know if they needed to call me anything different. That's been the reaction from most people I've told. I had to correct my brother's girlfriend when she used a slur, but apparently she hadn't realized it was one.

I think more telling are the actions people take after the initial reaction. Some people (my parents) have just tried to pretend I hadn't told them anything. Others have been super supportive, giving me advice on how to do my hair, my nails, going out shopping with me, etc.

[Michelle G]

My best friend is definitely my lovely spouse, when I first told her four years years ago she was surprised but after she got over the initial shock she helped me box up old boy clothes for charity and said "lets go shopping for you"!

I will forever be in her dept for being so understanding!

I also told one of my trusted male cousins, but he is gay and totally was understanding, he even sent some of his trans friends to "like" my facebook page

[julia64]

I originally told my best friend that I was dealing with gender issues about 10 years ago and he was very supportive. 
Now that I am strongly considering and likely going to transition I spoke with him again on Sunday an his reaction was "ok, what can I do to help".  He is an amazing friend and always has my back, he just wants me to be happy.  It is so nice to have his support.

[Alex123]

Her response was "you idiot, why didn't you tell me 10 years ago, you've been alone all this time". Wonderful lady, fully supportive, totally understands.

[kelseygal]

I am still not sharing with a lot of friends and family for complicated reasons, but my wife qualifies as a best friend too!

I left THE note, wine, butterfinger m&m's, and some flowers on the stairs for her before she came home from work. I went to the only other friend's house that knew about it (that friend was surprised, but supportive), and waited...

To my amazement, within minutes of arriving, my wife called and said 'Babe, can you please come home, I want to talk.'. to which I replied 'Are you sure?'. She said 'Of course, I love you, and I'm so sorry you've been going through this.' Big shocker to me, because she comes from a very chirstian/conservative background.

To spare you more detail, there have been tough (tense) moments, but I am relieved to say that she seems to be really settling in, and loving me for who I am. We are scheduling a vacation 6 months out, so that's a good sign

[stephaniec]

congrats

[Denise]

Friends?  What friends?  I have some acquaintances.  My dysphoria made it difficult for me to have/keep friends.  But I do have a group that I know that I told this weekend.  Their response was something like "wow", "no idea", "you're brave", general disbelieving looks - then "let's ride."  (we were about to ride our bikes for 65 miles through some pretty nasty rolling hills)

Basically the general reaction is dumb looks which I interpret as "I don't know what Transgender/Transsexual really means so I don't know how to react."

I offer everyone the following opportunity: I will answer ANY question you have. Nothing is off limits.  If you think it, I want to hear it, regardless of how you think I'll take it.

Only 2 have taken me up on the offer and only one has asked anything beyond "how are you/your wife doing?"  Very surprising.

[IdontEven]

someone snorting their beer out through their nose (timing is crucial)

I'm jealous. It's so anti-climactic to be scared to death to tell people and then they don't really respond at all. Apparently it's because they were in shock, and maybe because I don't hang out with many extroverts? It would be really satisfying to get at least one beer snort though 

[Ⓥ]

"I don't think that's a good idea" -- 1st friend

"You're going to be a dude with boobs" -- 1st friend

"Y'know, my nephew is Trans too.  He came out back in Septem..." (trying hard to relate) -- 2nd friend

"You freak of nature" -- Brother

"What??? NO!!" -- 3rd friend

-gives me a hug- -- 4th friend

In the negative reactions defense, I was't some effeminate gay male to start.  People were genuinely shocked as I was a very masculine, manly presence.  There wasn't any hints or "I knew all along" type of crap.  And no, none of my people were/are bigots... very opened minded circle.  It'd be like public reaction if Nick Nolte was the next Caitlyn, y'know?

My social life plummeted after telling friends




Good thread, btw.