Huff post question about bathroom issues - and a response from someone i know.

[RobynD]

A huff post writer suggested that we needed to be more empathetic as the social ground has shifted for so many
people:

Could the Transgender Bathroom Debacle Have Been Avoided?[/b]

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jon-deutsch/could-the-transgender-bat_b_9963072.html

The Huffington Post/by Jon Deutsch  05/13/2016 07:23 pm ET | Updated 21 hours ago

On one hand i agree people need to be loving and empathetic in all interactions with people including those fearful of change, but i am also trying to understand why he did not suggest anything? What exactly have we done wrong post marriage equality?

We pretty much have a wide understanding that this is a poorly veiled attempt on the right's part but again, I'm not sure what should have been done different.

So being a curious person i rang up a very conservative friend and i think a member of the AFA, which has been designated a hate group by the southern poverty law center. ( at least he donates i know)

His responses did not help me a lot but i guess shed some light on it. He said that there was a feeling that " the LGTB" lobby and liberal allies had lorded it over them and that they were "thumbing their noses" at traditional culture that many of them loved deeply. He specifically said seeing the white house lit up in rainbow lighting really hurt. He said that it felt like acceptance of the new was rejecting that traditional and making them feel like they were out of place etc.

(I'm paraphrasing)

..then he launched into some pseudoscientific data about how traditional values and a less diverse society actually made a nation stronger and that "effeminate men " would not defend the country and that some races are proven genetically to have a lower IQ etc. (incredible i kid you not ) and finally he began to lose me, so i thanked him for the discussion and went on my way.

So what do you think? Do you think his views are widely held in that group of folks?

[Deborah]

So what do you think? Do you think his views are widely held in that group of folks?

I don't think they are widely held, I know that they are widely held.  How do I know?

Because I used to be one of them and I know how they think.  I used to believe all of that above plus a whole lot of stuff even crazier.  Well, I'm not sure I ever really believed it, but I accepted it and tried to believe it because those beliefs are the norms of the group.

I did eventually pull my head out of a really dark place and began to deal with reality rather than a fantastical imaginary world.  Coincidentally it was at the same time I began sorting out my trans issues for real and stopped trying to ignore them.

However, due to the nature of my job nearly everyone I work with is part of that group I left and discussing politics or religion with them leaves me cringing in shame knowing that a short while ago that same nonsense filled my head. 

Where does it all one from? Its origin is obvious to anyone that reads right wing sources.

The author is naive to think that empathizing with them would have made any difference.  Understand what they believe before trying to engage them.  For the most part it's not simply a fear of change or loss of the traditional.  No, it's that they think we and the LGB are mentally ill perverts that threaten the future of civilization.  How exactly do you empathize with that. 



Sapere Aude

[Hikari]

I don't think I need to cater to anyone who thinks my mere existence is some sort of crime against nature. I would imagine that nothing would be gained by doing so. I have conservative friends, and they are always trying to make apologies for the people they support politically. The sort of thinking that they don't really mean these bad things about the LGBT community, but Obama just pushed them so hard they have to hate us publicly to save face. It doesn't matter if that is true or not, those people who pass laws against us are going to hurt us no matter their intentions.

[RobynD]

I hear you both. Often you hear people say "just slow things down, society does not have to change so fast" "people get whiplash etc. " I don't get anyone thinks that is a proper approach.

The bathroom nonsense in places that it has occurred is an attack and it is plainly wrong in every moral sense.

I just don't see what this author thought an example of empathy would look like? Town meetings? hug a thons? It sounds  vaguely like the argument about "phasing in " racial equality of the past. In other words give the people more time in power and have power over you, more time to treat you badly, only less badly...maybe

[SleepyJess]

Change might be scary but I'm done justifying my existence.
Nothing has changed anyway, trans have always used their bathroom of choice. There is a higher awareness of transsexuality as there is homosexuality and bisexuality so more people are brave enough to come out.

[cheryl reeves]

The author and your friend are wacked,effeminate men have died in wars defending this country,not all effeminate men have low iqs,some are highly intelligent and are ruthless in business. In public I look like a southern redneck,in private that's my business.

[stephaniec]

given the nature of the topic we need to be mindful of our posts. thanks 

[RobynD]

effeminate men have died in wars defending this country,not all effeminate men have low iqs,some are highly intelligent and are ruthless in business.

Exactly. Anytime people claim that feminism and being feminine is weak, i refer them to things like online pics of the female Russian snipers that defended their country from invasion as an example that hits home with the military fans out there.

[Deborah]

They pretty much say the same things about CIS women.  They hold lots of views not grounded in the reality of the real world.


Sapere Aude

[suzifrommd]

So what do you think? Do you think his views are widely held in that group of folks?

The flames of hate are being fanned by groups seeking support for right wing political candidates and the wealthy interests their success benefits.

I have no empathy for people who would damage lives in pursuit of power but I do have sympathy for those whose are ignorant enough to be taken in by it.