Hi everyone, It's my Birthday!!!

[Tasha_]

$#!+..... I am a regular girl who plays with her toy at least once a week... that's be NO problem for me.... lol....

On a more serious and appropriate note, options is key I think... we definitely do not want to limit ourselves, as we have felt so our whole lives!!!

[Rebecca]

Sorry you know what I mean I hope.

Everyone wants to be what they consider "normal" in their own head with varying criteria. For myself I am in my own mind a freak but that does not mean for 1 second I tag someone other than me the same way.

Same way I say I'm fat but would disagree if it was someone else with the same stats.

[Tasha_]

I know exactly what you mean..... I was making a little dirty joke and trying to play a little.... I hope I don't offend anybody....💖

[Rebecca]

Phew I paniced and blushed mightily at the potential faux pas.

No offence taken now my heart is back in my chest. That's one way to wake up a bit at 06.30 lol

[Tasha_]

😃

[Rebecca]

Options definitely the way to go but had to balance with the time cost considering it is for life. For arguments sake minimum 52h (inc prep and clean up) a year to allow for possibility of sex that's over 2 whole days a year. Bearing in mind my sex lock down dilation was clearly viewed as work and not play by me.

That way I couldn't see it as an end if there was more work to do forever leaving that freak tag in my head every time I'd ever have to do it. With the toy switch I can use that as a finish line to transition.

All my worries on the other post but everything should be ok.

[Tasha_]

I got ya.... that was basically my thought though, dilate with a toy and it is no longer work... and once everything starts becoming "normal" then it should become even pleasurable.....

[Rebecca]

Yup that's the plan.

I know it'll be ages until it happens but it helps with my "someday" dreams.

Just now I'm so excited about trach though I'm going to be insufferable until it's done. After that I should look "normal" to myself when dressed so I can get dolled up to the 9s without worrying that someone will spot or worse point out my Adams pineapple.

Going to be so much fun.

[Tasha_]

I hate mine too, I am teaching myself contouring tricks to hide it..... you should come visit so we can get dressed to 9's and go out, I love getting dressed up!!! Kind of over the "do/if they know", now, I just care about being treated right and with respect..... I feel  bad sometimes, but, then someone else sees me feeling bad and "clocks" me.... then, THEY compliment me and treat me like a woman, and you know, after the last time..... I think I'm cool.....

Another one.... I went to breakfast today in my tiny town.... my wife only tags this profile now because it's the o y one I use.... she announced our marriage..... all 9 yards...... well she is friends on fb with a server, used to bartender for us.... knows us pretty well.... I think she called me Tasha at the restaurant today.... I.... went with it and think I have been a little more accepted here!!!!!

[Rebecca]

Funny thing is I don't think anyone else even notices it but it's that way I snag on it. My eyesight is ridiculously good combined with me being hypercritical of myself (aren't we all) it gets exaggerated many times over in my head.

Doesn't bother me day to day but if I dressed to kill and hit the town I wouldn't be able to enjoy it as much.

With electrolysis nearer the end than the beginning and trach done I'll have no fear outwith skintight gear or a very intimate encounter.

Would seriously love to meet someday as I think your confidence and style would be a good influence on me and of course a proper introduction to your lovely wife but until I trip over a bag of cash in the street I'm kinda stuck in the UK.

Would need to warn you though I have the social skills of a rock but once I'm ready I'll be hitting the town to learn. That time is almost here then I'll be ready to accept my laser guys offer to show me around to give me a safety net. After that I should be ready for the big wide world.

So glad everything working out for you in your town. Must be such a relief to be yourself without any issues. I'd probably jump like I'd been shot if I ever heard my old name. It's so good to have your own name recognised by others. Such a small thing other people don't even think about but so good for me every time.

[Tasha_]

Lol... ya, when I get my weekend, I disconnect with my created world, and immerse myself with who I am. And when I can be there.... that takes over. No work, no given family just chosen..... and I can just exist. Sorry.... kinda chose a tangent and ran with it a little...... I should probly pass out, gotta work early.... talk tomorrow!!!

[Rebecca]

Sleep well.

Tangents are good or at least I hope so given the number of times my thoughts go for a wander on here and drag y'all with me lol

Main thing is you get to be you at least some of the time which is awesome.
Sorry I hadn't realised you still had to do y'know guy stuff. You just look that good and all I know is you as Tasha I just think about you being that way 24/7.
Must be really difficult switching you're definitely stronger than I am but at least you know who you are inside.
In a way I think meeting the other you would be kind of interesting in a way but I'd worry I'd have trouble either unable to link you or maybe worse unable to separate you suppose it depends upon on who you are to you I guess.

Best just keep you as Tasha <3

I sometimes wonder what it would have been like to meet my older self face to face with me being fully restored.
When I see his pictures though or look at some of his memories I'm glad I can't.

There is/was a lot of good in there (thanks to what was left of me) he wasn't evil or anything just mostly empty and mechanical like there was nothing in there (which makes sense as there was less of me every day and I couldn't integrate with my body directly - Damn now who sounds like a machine).

Ah well he's dead and I'm alive so that's ok with me kinda win/win like he wanted out and I wanted in.

How's that for a tangent 

[Rebecca]

Going all sneaky for a bit as I don't want FBs facial recognition stuff or whatever to link these 2 faces but I decided to meet "him" onscreen so copy & pasted a before and now facial pic.

So half the link here and the other bit on FB. It's a bit of work to copy and paste but hopefully worth it.

https://drive.google.com/open?id=0BxTSHbEjQhuL

No makeup on apart from lippy on my now pic btw just selfied at work sporting almost a full week of facial hair growth. It's hard to see any but I feel some with my fingertips so need more zapping.
Hair ponied and too lazy to take it down and put it back up but shows more of the face and OMG that guy is a total stranger to me lol

Kinda funny but scary and defo reminds me I have changed a teensy weensy bit.

Not really sure why I'm sharing it tbh but somehow it seems right.

[SarahElizabeth1981]

hahahaha tasha. That's really great things are going good for you. That people are accepting you as Tasha and why shouldn't they? You are a perfectly lovely women.

And girls don't forget.... we ARE doing a girls trip in 2020 as we discussed before!! 

yeah once things are healed it shouldn't require a lot of care but there's always the possibility of vaginal infections and such. which I'm sure wouldn't be much fun. But i guess it's a small price to pay to be a women. we still don't have to deal with periods and the hormonal/mood swings that they can bring. 

On a personal note... I met a girl that I have a HUGE crush on and I think she feels the same way. I saw her at a social club meeting last night which I'm pretty sure she only went to because I was going.  we sat next to each other the whole night which I loved... but it was also killing me 'cause I wanted to put my arm around her and just snuggle up to her. Have I mentioned that I'm a hopelessly romantic sap???

So anyway at the end of the night as everyone was leaving we were talking on the way out... another women came over and sort of interrupted but we all kept talking. I went to say something to her an the other women interrupted and I got so annoyed I took my hand and covered her mouth. I know her so it wasn't totally weird but I think a little rude but whatever. then I turned back to erica (my crush) and she moved as if to give me a hug and then the other women said something and I looked back at her. then back at Erica and she asked if I wanted a hug.  I told her I would ALWAYS give her a hug and we hugged... awwwww right??   I know I'm such a dork.

   So, she is a trans women and I don't think my ideal partner would be trans. Mainly because I want to have kids... so kind of a need a cis women for that. But I also don't care I really like her and she is beautiful... one of the best looking trans women I have met or seen anywhere!! I know most of you have partners but what do you think of dating or being in a relationship with another trans women??

[Rebecca]

Depends on the woman if you click and it feels right why not?

If this year has taught me anything it's to look beyond the flesh to who's inside.

Don't get me wrong I'm still heavy hung up on looks (yup I'm shallow) but cis or trans not so much of a barrier.

They have as much chance as anyone else to love and be loved.

Also a hopeless romantic.

[SarahElizabeth1981]

I completely agree Jerrica, it's so hard to find someone that you really click with. trans or cis isn't any real factor for me. Also, I want people to accept me as a women so I don't think it would be right to be like "well, I won't be with you 'cause your trans and not CIS" It would make me a bit of a hypocrite, I think.

[Rebecca]

You're not alone I've had the same thoughts. Also worries about potential for a relationship being a mutual crutch in our need for love instead of a true love.

Also that kinda way in wanting to feel real my insecurity would end up asking me is she is interested in me Vs the whole world or just the trans world.

I way overcomplicate some things lol

That said I would like to think I would go with the flow and hopefully my own feelings at some point would work out the answer.

[SarahElizabeth1981]

Those are valid points Jerrica. I also had the thought that an upside to being in a relationship with another trans girl is that Nobody gets what it like to be trans better then another trans person. Which I think could be a good thing. But I agree it shouldn't be a crutch. I don't think it should really be a factor at all.

[Rebecca]

Yup I agree and sounds like you know exactly what you're doing so have fun

[Tasha_]

Have you got a date with her yet??