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lonliness

Started by cymoril, May 17, 2016, 12:34:39 AM

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cymoril

May 17, 2016, 12:34:39 AM
Hi.  My name is Stephanie Garrett. I live in San Francisco.  And I'm glad I live here.  But I've run into some problems.  I don't feel welcomed by the trans community here. I have attended many different transgender groups, and, unfortuantly I feel like an outsider every time.  That discouraging.  I know I haven't been so much of a bitch to deserve this ostracism.  But, still, I may be wrong.  Anyway, to be honest, it's very hard to go thru transitioning alone. You see not only am I transitioning, but I have acquired a most devastating complication because I have hiv.  Presently I am in a wheelchair.  So, in my mind, the reason I've yet to make friends is because I am new to the community and don't know how to act or talk.  I hope I'm not being overbearing, but I really need to have a dialogue with someone.  I have a big surgery coming up on June 27th.  THat's when I get my ta-ta's;).  I am so looking forward to that.  But right now, I feel very alone.  And that's not good going into the first of my two surgeries.  So, I wish everyone a great day.  Thanks.  Cheers!!!
Don't really know what to write here...  So I'll just write a little about myself.  For conciseness, I am a 48 y/o pre-op transsexual who's in a wheelchair.  I'm wheelchair bound due to AVN(avascular necrosis) which took three and a half inches from my right femur and I acquired due to HIV.  I got infected by the first man I was ever with.  So, after spending 40+ years in Texas and getting three felonies, I decided to move to San Francisco.
  I got here in 2010 and continued to drug myself until something happened...  I don't remember exactly what happened, but I do know I did something to ease my pain, which didn't help and I ended up in the ER.  After that, mind you I could still walk, barely, I was diagnosed with avascular necrosis.  Immediately I was sent to a hospital in really bad shape.  I was addicted to a copious amount of drugs and weighed less than 90lbs.  I was near death.  I spent two and a half years in hospital, quit drugs, got my own place and am doing quite well.
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Felicity R

#1
May 17, 2016, 12:45:18 AM
I'm sure there are many here, myself included, who would be happy to start a dialogue with you. You're welcome to post here or even PM me if that makes you more comfortable.

I know for sure that I've had that same lonely feeling more than once. A lot of that not belonging feeling can sometimes be just in your head too. I struggled with that quite a bit when I first started frequenting the LGBT resource center at my college. I often felt like I didn't belong, or I was invading a space that wasn't mine to occupy, but I kept going anyway, and eventually realized that was all untrue. Now I have a lot of friends there, and the support is vital. I don't know that your situation is similar, but if by chance it is, maybe try giving it a few more chances :)

Edit: I almost forgot, congratulations on your surgery :D
Full time - 02/08/16
HRT - 04/08/16
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cymoril

#2
May 17, 2016, 01:13:10 AM
Thanks for the kind, reassuring and motivating words.  I think, like you said, a lot of my problems start in my head.  But as a Texas gal, the whole California thing was kinda overwhelming to me.  Then after spending 2 years in a hospital, where I began my transition and emerging as a completely different person-- a transgender woman in a wheelchair.  But I will overcome.  And Felicity, thank you so much for reaching out.  You've lifted my spirits.  But now I gotta to sleep. I'm still recuperating from breaking my femur.  Oh well, such is life:)  I hope we can become friends.  You're a really empathic person.  Take care and much love, Steph
Don't really know what to write here...  So I'll just write a little about myself.  For conciseness, I am a 48 y/o pre-op transsexual who's in a wheelchair.  I'm wheelchair bound due to AVN(avascular necrosis) which took three and a half inches from my right femur and I acquired due to HIV.  I got infected by the first man I was ever with.  So, after spending 40+ years in Texas and getting three felonies, I decided to move to San Francisco.
  I got here in 2010 and continued to drug myself until something happened...  I don't remember exactly what happened, but I do know I did something to ease my pain, which didn't help and I ended up in the ER.  After that, mind you I could still walk, barely, I was diagnosed with avascular necrosis.  Immediately I was sent to a hospital in really bad shape.  I was addicted to a copious amount of drugs and weighed less than 90lbs.  I was near death.  I spent two and a half years in hospital, quit drugs, got my own place and am doing quite well.
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Felicity R

#3
May 17, 2016, 01:23:42 AM
That is quite a bit to deal with in such a short time.

I'm glad I was able to at least make you feel a little better. And I'm always happy to make new friends :) Hope you have a good night.

Felicity
Full time - 02/08/16
HRT - 04/08/16
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