Curiousity on what it would feel like

[CosmicJoke]

I remember being much younger and from very early on I started having alot of curiousity on what made girls different from me.
I always felt like a girl, though I think this kind of sexual curiousity is normal in young children where they are curious what makes boys and girls different.
I still kind of have this sense of curiousity in wondering what it would be like to have a vulva instead of a penis. What would it feel like, what would it be like? Would it be different from having a penis or much more similar than I thought?
I am pre op, though this has definitely been a longstanding mystery to me. I have had a bilateral orchiectomy about 2 years ago, and it doesn't feel much different though I guess I just wonder what it is like to be or have something that I don't already. Does this make sense?
I guess what I am asking is, has anyone else here had these kinds of questions?

[suzifrommd]

I guess what I am asking is, has anyone else here had these kinds of questions?

Oh, yes.

In fact, that's the main form my dysphoria took - an intense, painful curiosity about what it would feel like to be physically female and a melancholy associated with the understanding that I will never know.