Torture

[Sara]

It is with regret I write to say
that I no longer feel the same
you think you've got a hold on me
but this is not my life long dream

I scream with anger every day
not simply do I pass the day
so who are you to judge that way
it should be clear I hear you say

You say you know just what I need
but you raise your voice and make me bleed
I hurt with words that cut like knives
which destroys the heart of both our lives

Let go of me and let me be
no more anger do I want to see
I dont belong to anyone
especially you who tortures me

You break my heart you twist my arm
you bruise my soul with your sweet charm
all I do is love and care
and all for this you're never there

It's getting late you've won the game
I am alone with all this pain
goodbye to you I hear you say
but then you drag me back again
bit by bit I melt away
'til nothing's left to give away

So take my soul take my desire
throw them all into the fire
cast me out for good this time
as I will never be again

It is such a shame that you can't see
Just how much you've torchered me.

[Shelley]

Very thought provoking Sara.

Shelley

[Sara]

Shelley, I guess I was depressed that day. That poem is about GOD and what I feel he has done to me. I was molested in a church not by a priest but by some old guy who not only did it to me but to two others and possibly many more over his life time.
It really has made me angry and sad and although it happened many years ago I am left with the pain which I can only describe as hell.

The poem is a release of my pain and tears flow each time I read it.

Sara.

[Shelley]

Hi Sara,

I am sad to read that such an awful experience led to such a beautifully written piece. Knowing the background it reaches even deeper into my feelings. Thankyou for sharing it with us Sara and I hope it helps deal with the pain.

Hugs Shelley

[Sara]

Thank you Shelley, I'm glad you liked the poem even if it is a bit depressing. I am hoping that after I see the therapist, all will be lifted from my shoulders and I can write more about the beautiful side of life instead of hurt and anger.

Sara.

[joanna]

Hi Sara,

Reading your beautiful poem caused me to feel very sad.   But knowing why you wrote those words made my heart even heaver still.  There are times such as this that I wished I could say some magical words to a friend and make every hurt go away.  I hope someday I discover those words. 

Seeking proper help is the first step toward recovery.  With all my heart and soul I wish your journey to be filled with beauty and happiness.

Love,


joanna 

[Sara]

Thank you so much Joanna. I am booked in for therapy in MAY which is kinda funny cause it is my birthday, maybe I will be re born?

Sara.

[Sarah Louise]

Poetry is a very personal thing and bares your soul.  A very meaningful poem Sara.

[Sara]

Thank you Sarah Louise.

Sara.