Coming Out to Family Help

[JessicaJonessd]

Hi Everyone,

I am having a difficult time with this.  How do I come out to my wife and children.  I love them all so dearly but I do not want to hurt them.   A little background first.  My eldest daughter is 17 going on 18 and she is getting ready for her Senior year in high school.  I believe she is the one who will handle it the easiest.  My youngest daughter is 13 but she has a chronic illness.  She has been constantly in an out of the hospital and I am afraid if I come out to her it will send her into a tailspin that she will not be able to come out of.   If she didn't I would always blame myself. 

My wife would be devastated at first.  She has stayed home with our daughter throughout her life and she has no marketable skills.  I would do what I could to support them but I do not know if that would be enough.   However, I believe she would be happy for me.  I think she can tell I am in pain though.  She is constantly asking if I feel ok.  I put on a good face but it is hard.    I want so badly to tell her my feelings. 

If you could, any of you that have had some of these same experiences or just your own experience, please share them with me.  I would like to get a sense of what others went through/are going through in this difficult time.

Thank you for any insights or help you can provide. 

I love you all,
Jessica

[Kelly Girl]

Hi Everyone,

I am having a difficult time with this.  How do I come out to my wife and children.  I love them all so dearly but I do not want to hurt them.   A little background first.  My eldest daughter is 17 going on 18 and she is getting ready for her Senior year in high school.  I believe she is the one who will handle it the easiest.  My youngest daughter is 13 but she has a chronic illness.  She has been constantly in an out of the hospital and I am afraid if I come out to her it will send her into a tailspin that she will not be able to come out of.   If she didn't I would always blame myself. 

My wife would be devastated at first.  She has stayed home with our daughter throughout her life and she has no marketable skills.  I would do what I could to support them but I do not know if that would be enough.   However, I believe she would be happy for me.  I think she can tell I am in pain though.  She is constantly asking if I feel ok.  I put on a good face but it is hard.    I want so badly to tell her my feelings. 

If you could, any of you that have had some of these same experiences or just your own experience, please share them with me.  I would like to get a sense of what others went through/are going through in this difficult time.

Thank you for any insights or help you can provide. 

I love you all,
Jessica

The Moderators are going to move this to Transgender Talk I presume , but I'm posting on your topic nonetheless here because I can hear your pain and you want post haste input .
I will be brief , loving , and straight to the point .
I will use me as a reference .
There came a time when if I did not come OUT , I would have died . There came a time I realized much could be lost when I told my Peeps . I knew if I approached them with love in my heart , they would still do whatever they wanted anyway . That part was out of my control .
So , I came OUT , and I didn't die .
Amazingly I was well received by most . The ones that didn't , that's too bad , FOR THEM :-(
That's all I got , the details are irrelevant to my story , but that is what I did . And it worked out very well , and I don't want to die anymore , BONUS :-)

[Dena]

I remained single so I never had to deal with this but what I would suggest is you come out to your wife first. Both of you seek therapy and work this out before dealing with the children. Younger children deal with this better than adults so the only real issue you may face could be your wife. I can't predict how this will go, but sometimes spouses are relived when the the person transitioning starts to improve with treatment.