Hi guys, it's been ages since my last post here, sorry about that. I'm still trying to figure out if I'm FTM or not, so far I've gotten to the point of thinking that as for now I'm just gender non-conforming/agender (although hate crimes against women got me talking as one in first person, dunno why).
I've been to therapy today and it's been a roller-coaster of emotions. I've been worn out, working a lot, writing my doctoral thesis and postponing the dream of my life, which is to travel and move out abroad. This is causing me a lot of anxiety, added to the fact that I hate being perceived as a woman - there's nothing good about being a woman in my country (Argentina). There's nothing good about having a utherus or breasts, I don't want to have kids, I don't want to have high chances of dying of breast cancer and I don't want to be objectified everywhere.
There are tons of things I hate about my life right now, even though I am healthy, I have two great jobs (I love what I do), I live alone and so far my friends and relatives love me. However, I've gotten to the point where none of this is enough. Recently I've felt like I was about to have a nervous breakdown or a panic attack. I am really scared about things I didn't even care about before.
My therapist (a regular one, not a gender therapist) said that it would be a good idea if I started taking an anxiolytic. I'm not a fan of medicalization or psychiatry. I don't know if she's giving me pills to actually help or if it's just a way of sweeping my problems under a rug. What do you guys think? Have any of you had a prescription for pills when going to therapy to talk about your gender identity?
XO
